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TOPIC:  

Hate being asked if I"m pregnant



 
 
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MAUREENGRACE1
SparkPoints: (14,719)
Fitness Minutes: (9,144)
Posts: 163
11/12/12 10:28 A

Good for you! Best wishes for your 'upward and onward' future.



AUGGIE1DOGGIE
Posts: 753
11/12/12 9:34 A

Yes, that is the only good thing about it was the idea of dang, how old do think I am? Or how utterly crazy do you think I am at my age? ha ha

Of course we all know later how we should react and how we should never internalize something about our outside appearance but sadly we do and I am sure I will again.

It's a work in progress. Now on to better things. :D



MAUREENGRACE1
SparkPoints: (14,719)
Fitness Minutes: (9,144)
Posts: 163
11/12/12 9:19 A

I was really sad to read that you allow others to impact on your self-esteem, lots of people do say things thoughtlessly, or to make conversation. If I was you I would take what was said as a complement[!]. After all she obviously thought you were young enough to be so.




MYNUS25
Posts: 53
11/12/12 9:15 A

- you must look very young for your age for someone to ask you if you're pregnant. Maybe turn it around and take it as a compliment - someone thinks you're 10+ years younger than you are.
- or, just maybe, this person that said this to you feels just as bad, or even worse, than you do right now


Edited by: MYNUS25 at: 11/12/2012 (21:44)


AUGGIE1DOGGIE
Posts: 753
11/12/12 9:07 A

Thank you all for the encouraging words. Love the support. Sometimes I do not get the support I'm looking for here but I certainly did this time.

Have a wonderful day. Love you all.



NOTTOOLATEJUDY
Posts: 349
11/12/12 8:36 A

Remember the movie Shallow Hal? There's a scene with Tony Robbins and Jason Alexander. Jason is talking not very nice about Hal's girlfriend, and Tony tells him, "There's a chapter in my new book about blurting out.... you should read it."
Love that line.



DSMOMSHEL
SparkPoints: (3,196)
Fitness Minutes: (1,560)
Posts: 44
11/12/12 7:59 A

Funny thing about our men is that they are the last person to notice our weight gain, if they notice it at all despite someone else pointing it out to them.

I too emotionally eat when someone says something upsetting to me. I'm so sorry that you were subjected to this emotional pain.



AUGGIE1DOGGIE
Posts: 753
11/11/12 9:33 P

I didn't take it well. All through the day I would keep saying I am not going to let what this thoughtless person say hurt me but it did over and over. What is worse she said it to my husband. I felt like great, he doesn't see me that way but if someone is pointing it out how could he not notice. Ugh. Oh well, all I can do is try harder. And you know what, I have ate like a pig instead of using it as motivation. Strange isn't it how we react. Yes, I judge myself by your opinion of me. Crazy.



DSMOMSHEL
SparkPoints: (3,196)
Fitness Minutes: (1,560)
Posts: 44
11/11/12 9:27 P

I'm right there with you. Because I carry a lot of extra weight in my stomach instead of it being distributed throughout my frame, I really do look like I'm pregnant. Everytime someone asks me I feel ashamed of myself for having so much extra weight that someone would be mistaken.



NANCYPAT1
Posts: 43,937
11/11/12 6:47 P

Mostly those comments are NOT meant to HURT you - they DO HURT but that is not the intent. Sometimes I think people who ask that are saying the equivalent of some of these other thoughtless comments that hurt.

You are so pretty if ONLY you would lose some weight.

Oh, are you SURE you aren't losing too much weight, you look sick?

Are you taking something that makes you gain weight?

People are simply saying SOMETHING to make conversation and they are not even aware that they are being tactless, thoughtless, and rude.

It has taken a while but I am working on growing both a thicker skin (to cover my fat) and also some really good one-line replies to their comments.

Why, no, I am not pregnant, when are YOU due, any day I bet.

No, are you still dealing with your venereal disease?

No, are you still drinking too much?




NAUSIKAA
Posts: 4,848
11/11/12 5:56 P

First of all, even if you were pregnant, it's no one's business unless you choose to make it their business. So based on that, it's ALWAYS rude to ask a woman if she is pregnant.

My mother got that once when I was with her. She said "No, I'm just fat." The lady who asked her (I think it was a supermarket cashier) had the grace to be embarrassed at least.

My husband's grandmother tells me "Oh wow, you got really fat" every single time I see her (makes no difference if I'm the same, higher, or lower weight than the last time she saw me). Before she even says "Hello." Some people are just rude people. They can't help it and nothing in their character encourages them to try to help it either.



AUGGIE1DOGGIE
Posts: 753
11/11/12 2:28 P

No, you dumb a$$ I am not pregnant. I am 51 years old why in the world would you think I could be pregnant. I think I could lose another 20 pounds and people would say things to hurt me.



 
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