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TIME_TO_SHINE1 SparkPoints: (12,974)
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5/16/13 2:36 P

I think you did the right thing. I have had to have the "don't use all the data" talk with my child and I have had to take the phone away. It sounds like she understands that what she did was wrong and that she is accepting the results. As for you EX she sounds like my step sons mother, it doesn't matter what your dad says I am the mom. Well it can't work like that at some point she needs to realize that she will not be hurting you, she will be hurting your child. Hope things get better.

JADOMB SparkPoints: (134,622)
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2/24/13 10:39 P

"Her mother, on the other hand, is super ticked off at me for doing this to her." Tell her to suck it up. LOL

Teens are tough to work with no matter what the household looks like. Being yours is a divided household, you need to somehow get with your EX and you two need to work together so your children don't get lost in the personal battles you two are having.

My sister and her EX had a bitter relationship and her 16 year old son committed suicide. I'm not saying that it was due to it, but it sure didn't help matters. So focus on the kids and make sure your broken marriage doesn't make raising a teen even harder than it already is. Lots of love and guidelines, stay firm but fair, and work together.

MONKIESMOMMY SparkPoints: (6,948)
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2/13/13 3:21 P

I can tell you from experience here always use the prepaid card things. I work for a gaming company and I get people daily that can't believe their kid spent 250 bucks on gaming content and junk.
With my daughter-shes only 8, if she does something that she needs to pay back she gets to do chores to earn the money to repay it.
Also, don't let your ex make you feel like the bad guy, I had one of those and at first I would let him get to me but one day I realized that they weren't actually upset for the child they just wanted some excuse to be a jerk to me.

SARAHMO4 Posts: 335
2/12/13 10:22 P

This might just be me but your ex needs to have some boundaries put in front of her: 1. If she doesnt like you or has ill feelings about how the marriage ended thats how she feels. 2. If she has bad feelings and isnt talking to you openly about what shes letting the kids do with accounts in your names, thats a problem. 3. It sound like your ex-wife has something against you and from what I got, if you are paying for certain items for your kids, and your ex wont agree on rules or what to do when rules are broken, its time for a talk. She may not like you for any reason and thats her choice. She needs to make better attempts to be friendly, less bitter, and make mutual decisions for your children.

MELMOMOF4 SparkPoints: (7,311)
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2/4/13 8:20 P

well my husband and i bought our boys a kindle fire and the other a ds. we have grounded them a couple times from them and they mouthed off to us that we only bought those to use them to punish and bribe them. so i do kina know what you are talking about.

CLARK971 SparkPoints: (29,686)
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2/3/13 11:45 A

we also use the itunes gift cards for the kids.

we will buy them for stocking stuffers, easter baskets, valentines day.... when the money is gone, it is gone.

sometimes they use their allowance to purchase itunes cards, but they are a little more selective when it is their money.

i wanted to add...this seems more than just your daughter using your credit card. your ex seemed to play a role in this. it is a shame that she resorted to such tactics when that is not in the best interest of the children.

Edited by: CLARK971 at: 2/3/2013 (13:06)
DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,283)
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2/2/13 8:08 P

As a note, I would strongly recommend against associating your credit card account with iTunes.

About a year ago, I had not one, but TWO $50 itunes card charged to my account without authorization. I don't have children with an account (my two are too young) and my husband doesn't know the password (it's complicated and I have to give it to him every time) and I use a very secure password, so nothing on my end was compromised.

I contacted Apple, and got the amounts refunded, and later learned there is a common hacking based out of China that can hack into the BACK end of an iTunes account! I'm not the sort that gets hacked; I'm a security professional, and know how to maintain the integrity of my own computer and devices, and the purchase was made in another country!

I *only* buy gift cards now. I was lucky that I monitor my bank closely and saw this within a few hours. They could have easily drained my account and caused my family to be in very serious condition.

BERKANA_T Posts: 138
2/1/13 8:57 P

Ah well, live and learn. We just learned the hard way to limit the data plan on our daughter's cell phone. It was a very expensive lesson!! And she learned to always double check that she's in a free wifi area before downloading anything.

2/1/13 1:27 P

Yup, good idea.

In my case her iTunes account had my credit card number but now it doesn't so she can only purchase stuff via iTune gift cards. I should've done this right away from the first sign of trouble.

Her mother, on the other hand, is super ticked off at me for doing this to her.

BERKANA_T Posts: 138
2/1/13 1:18 P

One of my friends went through this with her daughter. To prevent the same thing from happening in our house our 15 year old daughter has her own iTunes account. She gets iTunes gift cards for birthdays and what not, and we also buy them for her randomly 'just because'. She also gets allowance and can purchase additional cards for herself if she wants to.

As a result of this, when she has no cards to add to her account, she simply does without downloading anything new. It's made her very careful of what she downloads, since wasting money on a song that she doesn't REALLY like now will mean that she won't be able to download a song that she DOES really like later.

In your case, it may be worthwhile to set up an account for your daughter and give her iTunes gift cards every now and then. You could make it into a regular sort of allowance if you like even. They come in denominations as low as $10.

Since we set up my daughter's account, we've found that iTunes cards have become the gift of choice for family members that are far away. They fit neatly into a birthday or Christmas card, don't cost anything extra to spend, and they know she's going to get exactly what she wants.

2/1/13 1:08 P

Well, on the days she with me she is grounded for a month. I talked to her yesterday and told her that I took her off of my account and though she was not happy about she understood and apologized. She doesn't have an allowance so I'm not sure I can get money back but she'll be cleaning dog poop from the backyard this has to be done anyways.

MBEHNKEN Posts: 610
2/1/13 10:21 A

I know the feeling. Have done that before and just took the phone away this morning.

JENMC14 Posts: 2,786
2/1/13 9:41 A

That is absolutely ridiculous. I would ground her, make her repay you, take away the iPod for a period of time, and change the iTunes account password so that she can't use it.

1/31/13 1:01 P

Well, sorta. I'm single Dad with 2 teenaged daughters (14 & 16) and my youngest asked me if I could put her on my iTunes account. I agreed (this was three months ago), at first she'd ask to buy a single here and there and kept up with paying for it (or at least the few times she offered). After Christmas her mother told her that I was rich and that she her mother's permission to buy anything she wanted on iTunes.

I looked at my bank statement and would see $10 purchase that I didn't do but I let it go a few times......finally, yesterday a $50 iTiunes purchase came up and they were with their mother. I called up my daughter who wouldn't anser her txt msg from me but her mother chimed in a txt to me telling me to suck it up, that's the price I had to pay for abandoning my kids. Grrrr....we have 50/50 custody and have that arrangement for over five months but my kid's mother keeps telling her family and my former friends that I abandonded them and that this iPod thing was just the tip of the iceberg for my "sins" (there was no incident for the break-up, I simply could not be a good husband for her anymore and that was by her own words).

So now my daughter hasn't responded to me since the other day and isn't going to be with me until this coming Monday.

Anyone else had to be the bad guy like I was and take away a "toy"?

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