HELP! My woman friend dresses like a.....

Posts: 86
2/17/10 3:53 P

She isn't doing herself any favours when it comes to getting respect.

It's best that you spoke with her. You may wish to tell her as a friend that there is a difference between respect and attention. If she wants to be taken seriously in the world of business, she needs to dress for the industry she is in.

Alternatively, she could see if they are hiring at night clubs or bars.

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2/17/10 1:54 P

Good job, Joe. She'll get over it.

Posts: 14,354
2/17/10 10:19 A

Ok, I flat told her to stop dressing like that. I'm currently getting the cold shoulder but I seem to notice more 'slacks' for her wardrobe rather than short skirts. Still wearing the high heels but that was never the problem.

Posts: 14,354
2/14/10 7:51 A

Thanks, but before I say anything 'directly' about it I started to look into our job handbook and BAM! The dress code is vaguely written and there is a warning system. I already knew about the warning system because on casual t-shirt day earlier this year I wore a form fitting black t-shirt and "The Prude" middle aged-woman who busts on everybody turned me in (she told me she did).

So I'm going to show my friend the book (she has one) but I'll let make her own descision.

Thanks everyone.

Posts: 5,413
2/13/10 11:35 A

If this was any other friend, and it was any issue that might jeopardize their job, you'd say something, right? Well, maybe you need to do that now.

I'm a Corporate Controller. And I allow a relaxed dress code. But if someone abuses that, it's not a secret. Everyone can see what each other wears to work. So letting a clear dress code violation occur repeatedly tells the rest of the staff that we don't care about enforcing rules.

Sorry, Joe, but if it was me, I'd say something. Believe me, people have been fired for less than dress code violations.

(Just my two cents, anyway.)

SDJ

Posts: 14,354
2/12/10 3:00 P

Not her boss, a lifelong friend, well, that's not very long in REAL years but she'd say we've know each other nearly her entire life.

When I hear "the guys' made smirky remarks about her I don't participate, in fact, I kinda go INVISIBLE and try not to hear it. I'm telling you, she started lifting about a year ago and she could compete if she had the umption to do so. her biceps are nearly as big as mine. Did I forget to mention that she wears ridiculously high heeled shoes, too. w/o heels she stands about 5'8" WITH heels she towers nearly at 6 foot. And with awesome blonde hair and big boobs to boot!

My relationship with her is more fatherly like than crude-guy. Im not sure what the boss has said to her excpt that the women have got together several times to make joint complaints about her.

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2/12/10 1:56 P

Are you her supervisor? If that's the case you have to man up and address this; it's part of effective management. What you personally like or don't like or what the other women at work think has no bearing on the situation.

Posts: 1,713
2/12/10 1:51 P

So this is a tough one. I'm in a work place where I'm on the younger end of the scale. I see so many women wearing baggy clothes every day that it's refreshing to see one that has style or isn't afraid to wear those tight fitting jeans to show off all her hard work at the gym. Granted it can be done tastefully. White pants/black thong is probably not the way to go about it, but I don't see anything wrong with the white pants...she could probably wear a underwear that isn't more "HEY LOOK AT ME" under the pants.

She's going to pretty much wear what she wants to wear regardless of what you tell her unless you're the boss. If the bosses don't tell her that she's in violation, then there's really nothing you can do.

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2/12/10 10:41 A

EW!

However, I do think she 'knows' but not to the extreme at which she does it. She's not the flirting type as far as I can tell especially with as much reference as she does about GOD.

The real killer in thos situation is that she's an Army Reservist and she totally knows about dress codes!!!!

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2/12/10 10:17 A

Joe, in conversations with my fiancee about women who dress inappropriately in any number of situations, she has made it abundantly clear that 99% of women who leave the house with their thong hanging out, black undergarments under white pants, etc. know FULL WELL what they're doing and are most likely doing it on purpose.

If she's asking you if you think she's in violation of the dress code, it sounds to me like she might be flirting with you.

Posts: 357
2/12/10 10:02 A

Very Interesting situation...help the girl or piss off the males at work...good luck...would not want to be in your shoes.

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2/12/10 8:43 A

KJ, I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish and I mean that sincerely. It seems VERY clear to me that she knows exactly what she's doing. You pulling her aside would seem a little like captain obvious to me.

Posts: 20
2/11/10 10:40 P

I work in a hospital and we have people that violate policies, some are worse then others. One that really bothers me is the parking policy, some of our guest have to park quite a ways out to get to the hospital because associates take the first parking spots. Not wanting to be a dick about it since I have to work with these people, here is what I do. When no one is around, I put a copy of the parking policy on there car, they don't know where it came from or who did it but they get the message. It would be simple for you to put a copy of the dress code on her desk some night when no one is around, she won't know where it came from but she might get the message.

Posts: 14,354
2/11/10 4:46 P

I have this 'friend' at work and I'm not gonna lie; she's got a ROCKIN' body and knows it. She's 25 yrs. old and real nice to everyone (but the middle aged women at work HATE her) but she continually wears clothes that are INAPPROPRIATE for work!

One day about four months ago she got called into the office and was told about her white pants. White pants, no biggie, right? Except that she was wearing a black THONG and you could totally see it through her somewhat SHEAR pants! Not to mention the WHALE TALE, too! (see UrbanDictionary)

Ok, this all seems like some weird backward twisted Twilight Zone story; I should be telling you about how HOT this woman is and I'm totally salivating at her body,.......except,.....that I knew her as a kid and I can't see her that way!!!!

We talk all the time and frankly, she's one of those sickly sweet type of personalities and is unaware that some people (like me) get put-off by that attitude. She'll come and talk to me in the mornings and sometimes asks (kiddingly) if she's in dress code violation. We laugh and then I think to myself, "YOU most certainly ARE in dress code violation". I have tried, unsuccessfully, to tell her to tone it down but I can't seem to bring myself to do that for two reasons:
1.) I don't want to seem like a 'creeper' (see UrbanDictionary for various definitions) and;
2.) If the other men at work find out I tell her to tone it down I'll be the scurge of the building.


DOH!