You and your situation is not hopeless. You've experienced what many of us have at some point, some yoyo dieting with emotional eating at the root of it. Self-discovery is a wonderful thing, use this experience in a positive light and learn some ways to deal with emotional eating, perhaps turning to one of the emotional eating teams or reading some of the emotional eating articles. I was an emotional eater, and have decided to do something else every time I want to eat but am not physiologically hungry. I go on sparkpeople, go for a walk, knit, pray or read the Bible or another book.
Fitness Minutes: (3,778)
108 10/18/12 10:56 A
There is nothing wrong with you. You are going through a rough part of life, it's hard and it sucks when you lose people you love. You just need to give yourself a break, know that there are people here who care about you and take baby steps moving forward. Since you've lost weight before you know deep down you can do it, it just seems hard right now. My best friend passed away just over two years ago, it took me one year just to feel that I was moving forward again. Everyone deals with grief differently but please try to find another outlet other than food. You have your whole life ahead of you, start by making small changes which as you know do add up. You have angels watching over you and they know you will be successful in this journey.
Take your time and reach out to someone who can help you get through the grief and depression.
I think you could see all this as important lessons that you can benefit from in the rest of our life. One lesson is that apparently, loss and grief and sadness are causing you to overeat. This is a clue for you. There are books and resources on how to deal with grief and loss so you can learn how to handle it. Another lesson may be that a diet and weight watchers help you lose weight but don't help you maintain the weight. There are teams here for maintenance and I'm sure that there are strategies that one can develop on how to stay at goal weight.
Sydney - you CAN do this! You must have faith in yourself!
This is a quote from your original post here:
"I feel hopeless. Disgusting. Out of control. Trapped in my own body."
You sound like you are suffering from Depression - you are also grieving. Please, talk to your Dr - ask for a referral to a Therapist. You may have Counselors at college - seek them out and use them. That is what they are there for. You don't have to try to feel your way in the dark - take the hands that are reaching out to you. Depression isn't a nice companion, and nor is grief.
BIG hugs, Kris xx
Fitness Minutes: (5,534)
622 10/18/12 12:25 A
I just can't do it. I don't know what's wrong with me!
Fitness Minutes: (282,928)
10/10/12 11:41 A
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your grandparents over so short a time. It's a sad situation that would leave anyone grieving as well as depressed. No one would fault you for turning to food for comfort. But, time heals all wounds. You can't beat yourself up because you regained the weight. you CAN return to those healthy habits that helped you lose the weight in 2010.
I'm going to tell you what I would tell a brand new member, don't look at weight loss or good health with an all or nothing mentality. If the only healthy thing you were to do for yourself was to drink 8 glasses of water today, that's still a step in the right direction.
Spark People is all about making small changes. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Set some simple goals first. Example, if you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not used to regular exercise, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.
One small change is all it takes to change your life !! You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future !!
But the beatings have to stop. You can't beat yourself up like this. it's not healthy. As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". give yourself credit for the positive things you do for yourself and don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.
Dedicate your journey to good health in memory of your beloved grandparents.
10/10/12 11:20 A
Is there someone you can talk to about the loss of your grandparents and the way you are feeling about it and how you are reacting (eating) instead of properly grieving? It doesn't have to be a professional. A close friend of sibling or minister could help tremendously. It's hard to not eat for comfort when that is what you do (habit) and you are very! understandably distraught. My niece gained 60 lbs (after losing 50) when her boss died and once said to me that the ONLY thing she had to look forward to in life was her next meal (and she's married with 2 kids!) Depression is a nasty bugger!!
Fitness Minutes: (12,886)
10/10/12 6:38 A
I am older than you but can certainly relate. And my weight journey certainly mirrors yours. With the exception that my highest weight ever was 225. I lost down to 130's amost 15 years ago and then gained back up to 180. Since then I have never gone over 180 but have been usually 150s to 160s. Then I lost my husband suddenly a year and a half ago. I gained 30 pounds as I suffered through the loss and grief.
It was only after a year before I could get my emotional head above water enough to think about my health again. So just try to be patient with yourself. You can't rush the grieving process. But you can start to make small changes that will begin your journey back.
Life will get easier. If I can start again at 60, I know you can do it!
You're not hopeless! You've been through a terrible period but you can come out of it. The way you felt and treated your body yesterday may be completely different from your reality tomorrow. Every single day is a new day. We're all here behind you, this site is filled with kind people and helpful tools and articles. You made the right decision to post, it's a step forward. Good luck to you, and feel free to message me or friend me if you need support. I'm happy to cheer you on.
I am sorry for the pain you are obviously feeling with the loss of your grandparents. Unfortunately a lot of people don't realize how to grieve in a healthy way and turn to food for support. Below is a link that you may find helpful:
Don't go beating yourself up for what has been done - the good thing is that you CAN reverse it. Make sure that you do it the healthy way - utilizing the baby steps method, by changing only one or two things to start with and only when your mind/body is used to the changes, add something else to the mix.
If you are finding that there are certain foods which are more inclined to make you want to pig out, then avoid having them in the house until you are in a better space - better able to deal with them.
BIG hugs, Kris
Fitness Minutes: (5,534)
622 10/10/12 1:37 A
Quick overview: Sept 1, 2010 began my weight loss journey. I weighed 170 to begin with (my highest weight ever). I got down to 144 by Dec 2010 (my lowest).
I began to gain weight when my grandfather died in Jan. 2011. By Jan. 2012, I was up to 167.
I joined Weight Watchers and got down to 150 by May 2012....
Then my grandmother died in June.
And now, 4 months later, I'm all the way at 180. I GAINED 30 POUNDS IN 3 MONTHS.
I feel hopeless. Disgusting. Out of control. Trapped in my own body.
NONE of my clothes fit. I can't seem to go back to my healthy ways.
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