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Guilt-ridden weekend



 
 
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ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (138,913)
Fitness Minutes: (208,380)
Posts: 20,582
1/30/12 10:32 A

JENNIEMARS,

Gosh, is that a friend or a frenemy ? She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. a good friend would be supportive. You know what ? Ignore her rude comments. Like others who've replied, you made the right decisions. Spark People has never been about deprivation. It's all about moderation and portion control. Pizza, cheese, beer, etc... can all be a part of a healthy lifestyle as long as we are mindful of the portion sizes.

The fact is, your "friend" is on a diet and she's doomed to fail because of it. She has the old notions that a person has to starve themselves to lose weight. She probably thinks that as soon as she's lost the weight, she can eat anything she wants too. She's in for a rude awakening when the weight she loses comes back and yours stays off !!

Stand your ground. You are doing the right things for your body !! She's stuck in the Dark Ages of Dieting.

I would say if you want to remain friends with this person, you've got to avoid the topic of food and weight loss. If she wants to eat out, then you've got to tell her you've had enough of her rude comments. If you need encouragement, we're here for you !!!

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ZORBS13
SparkPoints: (98,561)
Fitness Minutes: (99,677)
Posts: 13,054
1/30/12 9:32 A

Personally, I'd tell that "friend" to suck it and ditch her. Who needs friends like that?



BAM0827
Posts: 3,023
1/30/12 9:13 A

Well, I'd say you had some successes this weekend - you found a good solution for breakfast on Saturday - you made a good choice on what you had around (a lot of this is about make the best possible choice in the moment), you went swimming, you had a healthier pizza for dinner - all good.

Sunday - protein breakfast, a healthy snack of cereal, you ate within your range at dinner. Again all good! So your weekend was a mix of great and not-so-great! No reason to have all those bad feelings. Guilt is kind of useless unless you seriously harmed someone - you didn't so let it go.

So what will you do the next time your "friends" make snide comments? You're reacting to them instead of owning your own actions and sticking up for yourself. (I was sent this quote the other day as a daily quote - "When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to". - N. Smith ... loved it!) You can be as much of a calorie snob as you want - it's your life, your choice. Your "friend" doesn't have to like it. You can tell her that, too. If she doesn't like it - let her go binge on food but you are allowed to have the choice of what goes in your body. As for your "competitive friend" why didn't you just say to her - "well, this food is about so many calories, this one is about so much, considering I've eaten around 500 calories up to this point today, my dinner fits in quite nicely" and then leave it at that. You said it yourself - your dinner was fine. No reason you can't let her know it. So she may be upset by your actions - so what?

You deserve to be treated with respect. Find your voice and use it. If you can't verbalize it to these people then use it within. Keep repeating those things you wish you could say to the person - it may stop you from grabbing the junk food in the future.

The sun is up today - which means a new day with new choices. Make some that you'll be happy about!



MAINEMOM9
SparkPoints: (2,470)
Fitness Minutes: (1,628)
Posts: 28
1/30/12 6:38 A

Don't you just LOVE those well meaning, competitive friends! lol. I have a couple myself. One of my "good" friends just told me yesterday that I have no chance of getting to my goal weight because all the woman in my family are "fat"~! She said I am fighting a losing battle because of genetics!!! Of all things to be competitive and nasty about it shouldn't be weight loss and getting healthy. And even though I am a strong person and I know to ignore what she said it STILL got in my head. For a moment doubt creeps in and I wonder if she may be right? We need to support each other. You came to the right place.



RUKIDDINGME123
SparkPoints: (28,793)
Fitness Minutes: (10,967)
Posts: 1,778
1/30/12 5:22 A

JENNIEMARS,

Sorry you had such a rotten weekend but we all have been there done that and believe me I personally have done a lot more damage that what you have described...lol.

What i usually do is just dust myself off and start fresh get plenty of water in you today and eat light and healthy. Id try to get some exercise in too and I'm betting by the end of this evening you will be feeling better both physically and emotional because of the choices you made today.

Wishing you all the best!



JENNIEMARS
Posts: 22
1/30/12 5:03 A

SO DISCOURAGED!

Saturday: Woke up at a friends house, had nothing 'good' to eat for breakfast so ate packed granola plain. Went swimming, burned about 400 calories, then lunch came. She wanted one of those party pizzas, so I made one for her then tried making a healthier pita pizza, she laughed at me, made fun of me for being a 'calorie prude,' got discouraged, binged a little (small portions, but too much junky stuff). Nothing nutritional all day, washed down with a Dr.Pepper. Went to bed feeling bloated, fat, and guilty.

Sunday: Woke up late, had an egg, didn't eat until 3:00, had cereal. Feeling full, then dinnertime. Friend comes over (She's trying to lose weight too and she's very, VERY competitive, so she only really gets nasty about food) We have dinner, I don't measure everything out exactly, but I know my portions and eat well within my calorie limit and purposely leave calories for dessert. During dinner, she says, "Looks like you've given up your diet for this weekend, eh?" I laugh w/her, blow her off, then when she leaves, go on an awful binge- two cupcakes, a package of M&M's, jellybeans, fruit snacks, peanuts, soda, all while playing video games and crying.

Now I have to be up in less than three hours and I feel so bloated, sick, depressed, and guilty that I can't sleep.

... help :c



 
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