You can't beat yourself up because you've gained weight. That's something that has happened to every single Spark member at one time or another. We're all experts at having gained, lost and regained the weight. That was the past. You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future.
One piece of advice I give to all new members is this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Every little bit really does add up.
Now, you have to ask yourself a really hard question,"why are you eating to the point of gorging yourself ?" Are you under any unusual stress at home, work, school ? I know planning a wedding isn't easy, but you said that was a year away. I firmly believe that stress is a neglected aspect of weight gain. If a person could reduce their stress, they'd automatically reduce their waistline.
So, if you are under stress, then you need to find ways to reduce that stress that don't involve food. try having a cup of tea when you feel an urge to have some cookies. Try reading a book or listening to some of your favorite music. try knitting. when your mind and fingers are busy, you're less likely to turn to food.
Personally, I don't believe a person should deprive themselves of a treat. BUT, if you find that you can't portion control the treats, then the treats have to go. out of sight. out of mind. if they aren't in the house, you won't eat them. replace them with healthier snack options like fresh fruit, nuts, dried fruit, etc... when you feel an urge to have a cookie, have an apple or pear or banana. keep eating the fruit until you feel sated. I have yet the meet the person who could binge eat apples. If you're going to over eat anything, over eat your fresh fruit and veggies.
Which could be another reason your gorging on the junk. Are you eating enough HEALTHY food ? Are you eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies ? Are you eating enough whole grains, beans, legumes, nuts, etc ?? If you're not eating a healthy diet, that's another reason you may be gorging on the junk. Do your best to eat more healthy wholesome foods that nourish your body. try to start away from the treats.
Here's something I learned from my own years of yo yo dieting,"if you eat crap, you'll feel like crap". If you want to feel better about yourself and your body, you're going to have to do your best to start eating right. Once you do, you will starting feeling better.