On Food Network there is a lady, Sandra Lee, who does "semi-homemade" stuff. She incorporates some fresh, some pre-packaged ingredients to make meals. Maybe doing something like that would help to easy your family into the transition of healthier eating. If you plop down a lovely hunk of salmon, a 1/2 cup of wild rice, and sauteed asparagus one meal it might be overwhelming, but if you make the recipe of the day on Spark (some mac & cheese something with frozen veggies) and baked chicken legs, might be a little more palatable for them and easier on you because you don't have to make two, or even three, separate meals.
I am going to do just that worry about me and who knows maybe he will come around. The hardest part I am having is he is one of those lets say enablers. he says I will love you no matter what even no matter what size you are. which almost felt like a free ticket to do whatever I want, and it was true he did love me just the same when I was 489 as he does at the weight I am at now, BUT one day I realized that I was not going to LOVE me no matter what size I am and that I had a serious changes to make.
It is hard when no one else is trying to do the same (hubby and kids) since they all want fast food and boxed meals and I just have the patience to deal with that so much. I don't know how to make them understand I just want them to be healthy I am not trying to torture them.
I am looking for a local church group that has meetings and accountability to help me get my weight-loss back on track to where I need to be and I guess if nothing else I will just deal with me for the time being.
Thank you all who have commented on this post thus far and my hubby did agree to the Mcdonalds Breakfast once a week and he bought me instant breakfast for the other days so That is a definitely a Start...
You are doing such a great job! I am thoroughly impressed with your success and determination to make these healthy lifestyle changes.
My (now ex) husband was like yours in that he just would not make any changes to his lifestyle to be healthier. It was discouraging and it happened more times than I like to admit that I let his lack of motivation influce mine, which would cause me to fall off the wagon. In the end I had to accept that only I am responsible for me and that the best thing I could do was to just be a positive influence.
The only person you can truly influence is you. Focus on setting a good example. He will follow or he won't, but that is his choice and in no way reflects on you.
I SOOOO agree with Coach Nancy and Archii. Like they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. All you can hope for, is to make him thirsty.
I would love it if my DH would exercise, but I've been at this seriously for over a year and he hasn't joined me for one single 10 minute walk yet. I bought him a pedometer after his doctor told him he needed to aim for 10000 steps a day. He carried it for a couple weeks, figured out he gets around 3K a day, and stopped using it. sigh. Motivation is indeed an "inside job". It may be that it will take some sort of health scare or something, to get him going. idk.
I really like the, one McDonald's a week suggestion. Personally I think your DH is trying to do something nice for you, more than he's trying to sabotage your efforts. Same with the slim fast thing. People who don't eat healthy or "study up" on nutrition & weight loss, have not got a clue about what-all it takes. They say married men live longer, and I reckon it's because their wives learn about all this stuff and then quit serving all the meals fried or meat plus potatoes, corn, and peas with bread on the side, all at the same time.
All I can do is keep going, for myself, and be a good example. I will say that after all this time, DH has gotten used to my healthier way of cooking. He's even quit wanting fast food for lunch, and we now pack him lunch from home every work day (sometimes he packs it, with my suggestions, and sometimes I do it for him). Personally, I see that as a major victory.
He's not especially encouraging, but he's also not especially dis-couraging either. Personally, I get more encouragement from my Spark friends than I do from him. But part of that I think is because we women as a whole tend to be more concerned about our weight and shape, than men in general are about theirs? I work at a marina, and in the summer there's a lot of people prancing around in bathing suits. A lot of the women choose a suit, based on what they think their figure flaws are-- a little skirt or boy shorts, for those thighs. Some shirring around the tummy. Ruffles or blouse-y stuff for a smaller bust. And some of them won't get off the boat and come into the store without slapping on a cover-up to just... well, cover it all up. But the men? No matter what shape they're in, they put on whatever pair of trunks and strut around like they look like Mr. Universe, great big gut and all.
So. Keep on doing what you're doing!! You've done so fabulously well!
Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions I will definately try encouragement. Although I hate to admit it is hard to encourage those who are not as encouraging to you but I will make it a personal goal to try to be more understanding of this and who knows maybe he will come around.
Fitness Minutes: (213,940)
20,978 2/2/13 1:21 P
Congratulations on your amazing weight loss progress so far ! That's fantastic !!
I don't think your hubby is consciously trying to get you to regain the weight. He may feel it's a nice gesture because it is something you like. What to do ? Why not agree to have a McDonalds breakfast with him ONCE a week. That wouldn't hurt your efforts at continued long term weight loss. The McDonalds egg mcmuffin is "mostly harmless" when you compare it to the Big Mac.
This way he doesn't feel like he's being left out of your weight loss. Because maybe that's how he's feeling. maybe his buying you the mcdonalds is his way of connecting with you. I would ask him if he'd be willing to cut back the mcdonalds to once a week for now. For the rest of the week, make your own egg mcmuffin breakfast sandwiches to enjoy with him. The Spark Recipes section has some really great recipes including healthier versions of the egg mcmuffin.
Also, Coach Nancy is right. While we all want our loved ones to be healthy, we can't force or encourage them to do something they aren't ready to do. How many times were we told we needed to lose weight before we decided we needed to make a change. He isn't ready to make that change yet. For now, you have to continue to set the good example. I guess I'm a little surprized that he hasn't decided to make changes since seeing your own amazing loss.
Don't try to force him to be healthy. Let him come to you when he's ready. What you might ask him is if he'd like to join you for an evening or morning walk. that's something you could do together if he doesn't want to go to the gym. Walking is one way he can be more active without actually doing any traditional exercise. This is assuming he doesn't want to exercise.
And in some ways, I couldn't blame him if he didn't want to exercise when he gets home. It's tough to be motivated to exercise if you have to work long hours a day. Which is why he might consider taking a morning or evening walk with you. Walking is not only great cardiovascular exercise, it's a good way to reduce stress too.
Ask him if he'll take a walk with you and ask him if he'll cut the mcdonalds back to once a week. that's something he might consider.
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
46,222 2/2/13 10:25 A
Firstly, I want to congratulate you on a FANTASTIC job!!! You are doing a wonderful job and setting a great example to your family--that you can change no matter where you are in your life.
The reality is, we cannot motivate others to exercise--the reason, motivation is internally driven. He must find out for himself how great he feels after just 10 minutes. One thing you may want to try is asking him to walk with you a couple of days a week. Maybe he will find the benefit of these moments and want to continue on.
Continue to be strong and stay the course! So proud of you!!!
My husband will come home from work in the morning (he is a night manager) and bring me Mcdonalds breakfast my weakness and it makes me crazy. Not that I don't appreciate the thought. I feel like he is trying to keep me fat and not helping me be healthy at all. His attempt to help me be healthy was he brought home a slim fast shake as if one shake is going to make it all better. As far as meals go I have a family of 5 and I cook one meal and if you don't like it then you make your own food. I always am trying to find motivation and support and that is why I love spark people. I weighed 489+ at my heaviest and I am down to 324 I have a lot left to lose and I think as long as I have spark people I will reach my goal of 150 pounds. As far as getting him motivated good luck although my husband does make some better food choices since i started but he won't exercise that is my issue any one has any suggestions on how to get him motivated to do that would be appreciated.
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