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TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,061
8/24/11 9:19 P

wantmore09, are you ok? Your last post on this subject was in May. Let us know you're ok, alright?

SARAHO228 SparkPoints: (21,004)
Fitness Minutes: (14,080)
Posts: 564
8/24/11 9:05 P

As a survivor of domestic abuse this sounds very familiar of how things started out in my relationship He sounds like he's hiding something. He doesn't want other people to know he's seeing you because he's probably got other women or is married. He is freaking out blowing up over small things and accusing you of stuff and he wants you to move in with him with your kids. He wants to isolate you. He sounds like a jerk with control issues and bit unstable. He sounds like he is either insane or using something (alcohol or drugs). Things are bad now they'll be worse later once he has you living with him. Stay where you are and dump him, better to be alone than to be miserable and drag your kids into a bad bad situation.

good luck



Edited by: SARAHO228 at: 8/24/2011 (21:09)
DAVEINSEOUL SparkPoints: (36,812)
Fitness Minutes: (55,779)
Posts: 1,113
8/9/11 11:28 P

Get out - NOW!

KJFITNESSDUDE Posts: 15,787
8/4/11 4:43 P

Wonder how it all went down?

NEXUS21 SparkPoints: (5,078)
Fitness Minutes: (1,914)
Posts: 10
8/4/11 4:00 P

Drop the relationship. Seriously.

TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,061
8/2/11 9:07 P

think outside the box. I got away from a bad relationship by realizing that I had to take care of numero uno. Make Amy happy first, then the right guy will come along, and he did.

PURRRPY SparkPoints: (14,376)
Fitness Minutes: (5,388)
Posts: 482
8/2/11 8:52 P

I really like that - replacing her name with her best friend. What we deal others - is what we should expect for ourselves. I will try that next time when I am battling with the voices in my head.
So simple - but EXCELLENT suggestion.

Purrrpy

N0_EQL Posts: 625
8/2/11 6:36 A

Want more:

Two things to help you long term.

Women need to lead with there head not with their heart. Do not allow how you "Feel" over ride what you see and experience. Knowledge should trump emotions.

How we "feel" about anything changes from day to day or minute to minute. How many different items have you ever said "This is the best ever!"

Second: In your mind remove your name from the post. Insert the name of your best friend. Now read it as her story and ask "what would my advice to her be?" Oft times detaching from the situation adds perspective.

Best wishes in your decision.

CANRUNNER SparkPoints: (2,549)
Fitness Minutes: (3,416)
Posts: 259
8/2/11 2:40 A

Get ready for him to promise you the world. He sounds manioulative and that he loves to play head games. I have been there and done that! Just remember you deserve more.

PURRRPY SparkPoints: (14,376)
Fitness Minutes: (5,388)
Posts: 482
7/28/11 11:40 P

I agree - RUN and don't look back. People only treat you unfairly and badly if you allow it. You are worth so much more and deserve so much more. Anyone that is this emotionally abusive so soon in the relationship is a huge RED FLAG of pending troubles and pain.

He's a player and he is used to getting away with it. He is trying to play both sides. There are better things in store for you and a much BRIGHTER future.

Purrrpy

JONNYJETPROP Posts: 836
5/22/11 5:14 P

+1 on the run away as fast as you can

MJOLNIR Posts: 15
5/20/11 11:26 A

Way to go! I think you are doing the right thing.

WANTMORE09 Posts: 47
5/20/11 10:23 A

already running guys. Im not going to allow anyone to do me like that. he has sent me a friend request again and is leaving messages making all kinds of promises. but , I am just done. Too old for this mess

SANDEBUE SparkPoints: (946)
Fitness Minutes: (972)
Posts: 35
5/19/11 7:31 P

Forget him.....the sooner the better. Do it today!!!!!!!!!!

BREWMASTERBILL SparkPoints: (31,080)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
Posts: 4,110
5/19/11 7:06 P

I expect to see you blog about this tomorrow with the topic "I am a runner" ... seriously, just injecting a little levity here because everyone else already gave solid advice.

TLCOVERT1 SparkPoints: (22,079)
Fitness Minutes: (6,275)
Posts: 1,169
5/19/11 6:05 P

Ditto!

AARONKBAKER Posts: 127
5/19/11 2:34 P

Run. Run fast and run far.

Two things will happen......you'll end up staying with a liar and cheater for however many years. Or, you'll end up the "ex" of a liar and cheater. He's playing you and who knows how many others. I know it's easy for me to say, but better to be single and maybe lonely, than to be deceived and lied to by someone you should be able to trust.

There is a reason he's acting this way and it's likely because he's getting caught on the other end too. No one that respects and truly cares for you would treat you like this.

MUSTLOOSE Posts: 300
5/19/11 12:27 P

I'm in agreement with Killer_Joe and Janet. Run and run fast. No normal guy I know would ever act this way.

KJFITNESSDUDE Posts: 15,787
5/19/11 11:06 A

Janet's right.
RUN!
emoticon

WANTMORE09 Posts: 47
5/19/11 10:11 A

thanks Janet

JANET0116 Posts: 671
5/19/11 10:02 A

Not a guy, just a lurker but RUN dont walk away from this man. Remember - how he treats you in the beginning of a relationship is AS GOOD AS IT GETS. Being alone would be better than being with someone as unstable as he is. You deserve more from a life partner. Good luck!

WANTMORE09 Posts: 47
5/19/11 9:38 A

Its not that I planned on moving to his hometown, it was a consideration if things worked out. I have been planning on moving south for the last few years when my children are all out on thier own. I plan on moving south no matter what. I just love the south and I dont have family anway, and my children want to eventually go south as well. Its not something I would even consider doing for another two years anyway,
I did not meet this guy on face book, I met him when I went with my best friend to visit her hometown which also happens to be his. We met about 6 months ago when we went there. facebook was just another way for us to keep in touch when apart.

KJFITNESSDUDE Posts: 15,787
5/19/11 9:30 A

Here's the short answer: RED FLAGGGGGGGG!!!!!! Dump a.s.a.p.!!!!!

Here's a different answer: Back off and cool withhim. I am always intrigued when I read or hear about "The Woman" picking up her life and moving to "The Mans" hometown. That just sends a bad message to me. Your support system is where YOU live NOT in his hometown. FB is also another concern, many, Many, MANY men use it as a Gateway to meeting women (women they need to leave alone).

The bottomline: If you have this kind of concern then moving to his town ought to be "tabled" if not entirely ruled out.

WANTMORE09 Posts: 47
5/19/11 9:17 A

Ok . I am in a relationship that is really really putting me through the ringer. Before I make the decision on wether or not to end this, I need some advice from the boys to make sure I am not making this a bigger deal than it is.

I met a guy from another state about 5 months ago. We hit it off really well and decided to try a hand at a long distance relationship. I went a couple of weeks ago to visit him at his home town and when we were in town a woman approached us and asked who i was. he introduced me as his girlfriend and she proceeded to say that she thought SHE was his girlfriend and that he never told her he had a new one. I was a bit taken by it but he swore this was not the case and I really do believe it..BUT THEN.....................
the guy is on my facebook page. we both changed our page to in a relationship at the same time because he really wanted to do that. now this guy claims to be head over heals in love with me and wants me to move me and my children to be with him and all that. Yesterday, he put on his facebook page that he wasnt exactly where he wanted to be at in life and I responded with saying dont worry, before you know it we will be beginning our new life. he called me and blew up saying that was too personal and people dont need to know we are together and i shouldnt have put that on his page, blah blah blah and he hung up on me. woke up this morning and he deleted me as a friend. when i called to ask why he said because if he dont he feels it will break us up. I left one small innocent comment! why is he acting like this. I dont get it. and he is constantly accusing me of things that dont go on. when I was at his home town I met a wonderful woman and she brought me over a gift bible for me and he told me that it was over because i disrespected him by bringing a man to his home. It was a woman!!!!!!!!
Im hurt because i really have strong feelings for this guy but he keeps blowing up over small things and hanging up the phone on me and not calling back or answering until he feels good ready and i didnt do anything.
Tell me, should I be running right now? if so, why is it so hard for me to do. I am getting older and I was really FINALLY able to say I am ready to settle down again and enjoy the rest of my life. he is making the "enjoy" part really difficult.

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