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KICKIN2135
Posts: 3
10/11/12 7:16 A

Good Morning and Thank You both for your feedback. I will make a conscious effort to adjust my 'All or Nothing' attitude...I didn't quite realize that I had that outlook until you pointed it out to me.



SOFTREFRAIN
SparkPoints: (832)
Fitness Minutes: (503)
Posts: 48
10/10/12 12:59 P

What archimedes said is right. You are letting perfection be the enemy of the good. Black and white thinking will ALWAYS keep you from your ultimate goals. There is no beginning or end to a healthy lifestyle. If one day you eat over your calories, the next day you try again.

Check out my signature...If you're tired of starting over, stop quitting!

Aim for progress, not perfection. And while it helps to have a support group along the way, in reality it comes down to you. How are you supporting yourself through this journey? Are you looking at the obstacles in your path as excuses to stop or as challenges to blast through?! You CAN do this if you want it enough.

"If you want something badly enough, you'll find a way. If you don't you'll find excuses". Find your way and don't look back, only forward!



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (137,790)
Fitness Minutes: (206,885)
Posts: 20,453
10/10/12 11:49 A

KICKIN2135,

Welcome back to Spark People !!

I'm going to tell you what I tell all new members,"don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you were to do for yourself was to drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. Thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

A "dieter" is someone who freaks out when they fall off the wagon. What would a healthy person do if they ate too much over the weekend ? Would they toss up their hands and say,"to heck with it all" ? Nope. They ate the food. They log the food. They move on. What they do is eat more mindfully for the rest of the week.

One less than perfect day or even weekend of eating DOES NOT make or break a person's healthy lifestyle. That's why you can't beat yourself up each time you eat more than you want. This isn't about having will power or self control. It's about making BETTER choices that help lead to a healthier life, not a perfect one. Don't try to be perfect or you will end up frustrated. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

And I think that's what's wrong. I think too many people try to be perfect. They set goals that are too ambitious. In short, they set themselves up for failure. It doesn't have to be this way. That's why Spark People encourages its members to start with some simple changes first. Example, if you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not used to regular exercise, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

One small change is all it takes to change your life. As far as support, if you don't receive any support at home, the Spark Community will support you. Post a blog on your Spark Page or leave a post in the forums. Someone will come by with some words of wisdom.

Patience, it's a virtue.





KICKIN2135
Posts: 3
10/10/12 11:40 A

HI.
THIS IS THE 1ST TIME I'VE EVER POSTED ANYTHING AND I'M SURE I'M PROB'LY GOING TO SOUND LIKE A BIG CRY-BABY BUT...THAT'S KINDA HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW...
I HAVE BEEN USING SPARKPEOPLE OFF AND ON FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS...ENOUGH TO BE FAMILIAR WITH THE TRACKERS, ETC.
I HAVE STARTED AND 'FALLEN OFF THE WAGON' SO MANY TIMES, I THINK I'VE LOST COUNT. I USUALLY DO OK TRACKING CALORIES, ETC. FOR THE 1ST FEW WEEKS OR MONTH AND HAVE ACTUALLY LOT A FEW POUNDS ON OCCASION BUT, INEVITABLY, I CAN'T SEEM TO MAINTAIN MY ENTHUSIASM OR DRIVE OR WILLPOWER (OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT).
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, WHEN I 'FALL OFF THE WAGON' IT MAKES ME AVOID TRACKING ANYTHING ALTOGETHER BECAUSE I'M ASHAMED THAT I COULDN'T STICK WITH IT OR HERE I AM BACK AT SQUARE ONE (OR WORSE). ANY WEIGHT LOST IS RE-GAINED IN WHAT FEELS LIKE 'A DAY OR A WEEKEND' AND THEN IT'S ANOTHER MONTH TO RE-LOSE IT AGAIN.
TO TOP IT ALL OFF...I HAVE VERY LITTLE SUPPORT HERE AT HOME SO, ANY WEIGHT LOST OR ANY IMPROVEMENTS OF ANY KIND EITHER GO UN-NOTICED OR ARE COMMENTED ABOUT IN A NEGATIVE WAY.
(ex: I RECENTLY STARTED TAKING WEEKLY RIDING LESSONS JUST FOR THE LOVE OF IT! SINCE I STARTED, THERE HASN'T BEEN A WEEK (YET) THAT SOME KIND OF DISCOURAGING 'REMARK' HASN'T BEEN TOSSED MY WAY.)
WHEN I PULL MYSELF UP FOR ANOTHER TRY AT GETTING THINGS UNDER CONTROL AND BACK ON TRACK (EATING HEALTHIER...WATCHING CALORIES AND EXERCISING) IT FEELS LIKE I AM THE ONLY ONE STANDING IN MY CORNER.

AS I AM READING THESE WORDS, I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO SHAKE MYSELF, PUT MY BIG-GIRL PANTIES ON AND SUCK IT UP BUT...



 
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