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AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (66,733)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
12/10/13 2:02 P

If you are having 3+ drinks 4 or 5 days a week, that is not really moderate. Moderate is usually defined as less than 9 drinks a week.

I took a look at some of your blogs and I wonder if you might be someone who suffers from a chronic depressive disorder like dystymia. Have you considered having a professional evaluate you for depression? Sometimes depression drugs, in addition to treating the disease, can help with impulseivity because they increase serotonin levels.

Dances: salsa (standard/LA), casino, rueda de casino, cumbia Colombiana, cumba Mexicana, bachata, mambo, cha-cha-chá, merengue, reggaetón.

Dances to Learn in the future: flamenco, tango Argentino, samba, belly dancing, bhangra, danzón, Cuban rumba, ballroom rumba
12/10/13 11:16 A

LOL, now I know why I couldn't find much discussion of alcohol on Sparkpeople.

The most useful comments so far have been private emails. (Thank you to those who have emailed me!)

I am starting a private team to discuss moderation. It is possible for many (definitely not everyone) to moderate drinking, just as most of you can learn to mindfully moderate your eating. There will be more than one thread, I'm sure, about getting help if you have trouble moderating, but there will be no lecturing. Send me a message if you would like to join the team.

~Hazel (Central time zone)

* Trying to be honest, accountable, accepting, and kind with myself and with others. *
NIRERIN Posts: 13,073
12/10/13 7:57 A

honestly being able to reliably go without drinking at the events where you usually overindulge might be a first step. perhaps not a forever, step, but you need to break the habit of saying one or two and then having eight. so a month or two of hitting all the things you want without the booze would be the way to go. if your group is anything like any group i have ever gone out with then you have the obligatory person who has no tolerance and wants everyone else as drunk as they are as soon as possible. when you have had a few, it's easy to give in to this person. if you're sober you can see what you need to do to pass this person's notice and/or deflect them. and that's what being sober through it is besides sheer force of will. it's learning what pitfalls you face that you don't so much notice when you're drinking. if you know what is coming up, it's easier to plan around. it could be showing up half an hour later than the rest of your group so you miss the first round. it could be showing up half an hour earlier so you aren't ready for their round and therefore aren't heading to the bar at the same time as the rest of the group. it might be having a drink before the first opener, dancing through the openers and only having water, then grabbing your next drink before the main band's encore. two months gives you time to break the habits that you have right now that you don't want to continue, which means that when you start back up again you have the opportunity to create new habits. i don't know anyone who has just changed this kind of habit. it's always required a step back.

-google first. ask questions later.

MISSRUTH Posts: 4,094
12/10/13 6:29 A

One of the problems with alcohol is that, when you're sober, you can say "well I'll just have 2 drinks"-- but then after you've downed the 2 drinks, it affects your judgement and 2 more don't seem like such a bad idea. And then before you know it, you're drunk. Again. One drink is too many, and 100 isn't enough.

Another problem with alcohol is that it is a depressant. It *feels* like it's livening you up and helping you become the life of the party. But in reality, instead of filling up all those little holes inside you, where the low self-esteem is-- it's actually eating away and making those holes larger. Eventually you'll come to the day where you can't live with it and you can't live without it either.

I'd suggest AA. I'd suggest limiting your exposure to social situations where drinking is the focus. I'd suggest making yourself the "designated driver", and not drinking at all. Most groups of people, where there is a lot of drinking going on, appreciate a DD. You might be surprized to find, even among a group of people where you think EVERYone is drinking.... there are probably at least a few who are not.

Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone

Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think - Christopher Robin to Pooh
MICHELLEXXXX SparkPoints: (10,080)
Fitness Minutes: (5,830)
Posts: 3,108
12/10/13 5:59 A

I would:
Eliminate any stimulants: ( caffeine, cigarettes, sugar, etc)
Practice stress reduction techniques (Prayer, meditation, exercise, etc)
Pick several mantras to repeat to yourself in times of difficulty ("This too shall pass..." etc.)
Focus on the positive traits of every situation and person (seek them out)

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
SUNSHINE6442 Posts: 2,046
12/10/13 5:18 A

I am not being rude but you need is only a matter of time before the alcohol will progress. I watched a friend drink so much that no matter how much he drank it rarely affected him on the outside...but it WAS killing his organs....he deteriorated over time, and in the late stages he was hospitalized for a month and his liver and kidneys stopped functioning and died.

Alcohol doesn't buy happiness...SLIMMERKIWI has given you some great advice.

God be with you that you seek help now.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (176,849)
Fitness Minutes: (35,355)
Posts: 23,189
12/10/13 2:32 A

I am sorry that I am not a "functional alcoholic" but my late husband was an alcoholic - initially mainly a binge drinker, but in later years it developed into full on virtually every day, and often all day drinking. His reasons to me were varied, but there is often a theme involved - low self esteem! If you can get a handle on that, then you will be on your way to helping you to deal with the other pressures.

I really do suggest that you seek some help from an experienced therapist now, rather than later. It is easier to deal with then.

As far as the here and now is concerned, you may find it helpful to limit the social functions you go to. Rather than go to them all, choose to eliminate some - perhaps the ones where you know the heavier drinking will rear it's head. If it is a group of you and you are planning something, rather than the drinking aspect, why not challenge each other to a game of bowls or something else that you can do as a group that doesn't involved food and drink.

I USED to drink many many years ago, and can really assure you I know what it is like turning up to work with the dark glasses on and feeling pretty seedy. I know what it is like to have to 'suffer' work the next day or two. I was fortunate in that one day my body didn't want to drink any more. As a result I have barely touched a drop in a lot of years. I don't miss it and actually used to have a lot more fun without it (I don't go out socializing any more by choice.) There is also the plus side - more money in the pocket and now rotten headaches or up-chucking (in my case a couple times blood!) are definitely a thing of the past.


Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 12/10/2013 (05:29)
Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression

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LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (55,509)
Fitness Minutes: (42,265)
Posts: 2,871
12/10/13 12:39 A

You seek information from "functional alcoholics". Sorry, but in my family-related alcoholic experiences, the only use for the term "functional" is that I'm not/they're not Totally Drunk "yet"!! When you pick up a drink, and KNOW you most probably will get drunk--sorry, you ARE alcoholic, not "functional". No way to sugar coat it....and yes, you might consider it rude....

But my experience, there are NO strategy's to limit drinking once you start. Intentions may be very well set out; you might try to avoid trigger parties, etc....but if you drink at home to "wind down"....does either of the previous help limit it? Not really.

Don't start---Call an AA Buddy!!! Give yourself the gift of an alcohol free life. And I hope you figure this out before you end up with the pancreatitis my brother has endured....
Best wishes,

"You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view" Obiwan Return of the Jedi
AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (66,733)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
12/9/13 11:47 P

Well, probably I am not allowed to respond since I am not an alcoholic...

Just one you track everything that you drink? Do you see how all of the calories and carbs add up?

It sounds like you need to avoid parties, clubs and music shows since those are triggers for you. If you are shy, self-conscious and your friends are not fun unless you are drunk...well, maybe you need some more interesting friends and some therapy rather than more to drink.

Dances: salsa (standard/LA), casino, rueda de casino, cumbia Colombiana, cumba Mexicana, bachata, mambo, cha-cha-chá, merengue, reggaetón.

Dances to Learn in the future: flamenco, tango Argentino, samba, belly dancing, bhangra, danzón, Cuban rumba, ballroom rumba
12/9/13 8:18 P

Please send me a Sparkmail if you'd like to join a private team with support and resources for practicing moderation. Ultimately you might quit, but for now you'd like to try moderating. (Not for people practicing sobriety.)

I edited this post because things were getting a little creepy.

Edited by: HAZELFRUIT at: 12/10/2013 (14:50)
~Hazel (Central time zone)

* Trying to be honest, accountable, accepting, and kind with myself and with others. *
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