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9/9/10 11:54 A

I know exactly how you feel. My fiance is 5'11" and weighs 145lbs. But he constantly drinks sodas, eats pizza, nachos, chex mix, chips, etc. For a long time I ate a lot of these things with him, but this past summer we went to his sister's wedding and when the pictures came back, I was appalled... I had never looked so big in my life. After that, I started tracking what I eat.

My fiance and I have reached a sort of middle ground... he hasn't really changed his eating habits, but he knows how upset I was when I saw those pictures and how determined I am to change that before our own wedding in May. So, he encourages me to exercise, even if that means tough love (like when we're cuddling on the couch getting up, telling me to exercise, and going off to another room until I'm done). He also makes sure to help me measure out portions and to calculate what our meals are calorie wise.

Besides having him help in the motivation area, I've gotten him to make little compromises that he can live with, like cooking with turkey meat when he makes pastas instead of hamburger or buying wheat bread instead of white. We're still working on other things, like whole wheat pasta... of which he really isn't a fan.

Also, when he really wants to order a pizza or something like that, I've learned to get a separate one for me and get veggies on it instead (cuts down about 80 calories per slice from his meat loaded ones). And, I'll eat one slice then have a little bit of fruit or something so I don't feel like I'm not getting enough food.

But I guess the bottom line is, I'm not really forcing him to change his habits, that's something that he needs to be motivated to do and he's not because he's already thin. I'm just asking him to respect what I need to do to change mine, and he is. This means that sometimes I have to eat a salad while he's eating three slices of pizza, which was really hard the first couple of weeks, but I'd take a bite or two of his and then go back to my food, and, as my stomach started to shrink from smaller portion sizes, a lot of times I don't want the portion sizes he's eating anymore.

Hope that helps, sorry, didn't mean to ramble so long.

VERNE710 Posts: 23
9/3/10 9:01 P

My fiance is great when it comes to food. He chooses the lean meats, veggies, starches. Even makes low cal desserts and buy healthier snacks. The only bad habit that he has is eating late, and just constantly eating. He stops eating when there is nothing left. I've just left him to his own devices, but I find myself itching for a snack come 11:30pm, something I never use to do before I met him.

Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 6
9/2/10 4:21 P

I know exactly how you feel! My fiance has horrible eating habits and worst part is that he's one of those lucky men with a fast metabolism! He stays skinny and can eat 5 pieces of pizza while I eat one and feel bad. :-) I would sit down and talk with him regarding your goals and that it's a big step in his husband duties to support you. Hope this helps! emoticon

9/2/10 11:38 A

My fiance too has some terrible health habits. I have learned to make him what he wants and then if I want some of it to use portion control and make a smaller plate.

Men, in general, metabolize food a lot faster so they are able to eat more and it not effect them as much.

It is a battle and one that if he knows the importance of your goals he will help you along the way with.

Good luck and congrats!

Fitness Minutes: (31,721)
Posts: 367
9/1/10 6:04 P

Be prepared for a battle there; that's a lifestyle choice that's hard for him to switch.

I NEVER hit the snooze button on my alarm clock... until my wife and I slept in the same bed. She hits snooze SEVERAL times and now I do, too. I don't like it. :(

WHIMSICAL3 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 87
9/1/10 2:22 P

My fiance's bad habit is chewing his fingernails! Seriously man! Stop it already! lol :-) He gets frustrated when I point it out.

PERIDRAGON SparkPoints: (24,563)
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Posts: 34
9/1/10 10:31 A

Be honest with him and just say that while you appreciate that he thinks of you and is bringing you things you might enjoy, you want to eat healthier these days and chips just for your are too much of a temptation (not to mention that you probably feel obligated to eat them, since he bought them for you!). If you can, suggest something you can have in moderation to enjoy as a surprise sometimes from him instead - for example, I like really dark chocolate, and my fiancé sometimes brings it as a treat. Because it's dark, the fat content is lower and it's richer so you are satisfied with less. His feelings might be a little hurt, but he'll almost certainly appreciate you being honest so that he doesn't inadvertently sabotage you anymore!

In terms of the red meat/high-fat dinners, depending on how picky he is about what he eats, there are several ways you can compromise. My fiancé was the first person I told about losing weight and he has been a constant support because I told him how to do that from the beginning - be willing to listen to me talk about it and don't ever ask things like, "Should you be eating that?" or, "Shouldn't you be exercising?". So now he knows what I'm doing and saying, "I can't have an extra piece of garlic bread today," or, "I'm going to have a salad while you eat a wrap" isn't a big deal.

In terms of mealtime, always try to make lower-calorie versions of meals you normally eat (use low-fat cream cheese, garlic, and herbs to make an alfredo-like sauce without the cream, for example) and always put it through the recipe calculator before you eat it so you know what you're getting into. Then serve yourself - and if that means half a chicken breast, or one without cheese, whatever - and serve him as much as he wants. Make sure he knows he shouldn't feel guilty because you're eating less - you still enjoy it, but you are just enjoying a smaller amount.

Another thing that has worked for us with red meat is to do with leftovers. If another serving of beef is too much for me to have at dinner the second night, I cut up a small amount into a salad for protein and eat that for dinner while he eats the leftovers in full/has a hot beef sandwich/etc. I eat a lower-calorie meal with a lot of the same ingredients.

Good luck!

8/31/10 11:14 P

So I recently moved in with my fiance and he had some pretty bad habits that I'm picking up. I rarely ate red meat and now it seems I'm eating it all the time or if I have chicken it has to be with stuff that adds tons of calories. He has been buying me chips and I don't know how to tell him that I can't be eating that junk because I'm worried it will hurt his feelings...What should I do?

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