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SWIMOM
Posts: 366
3/4/13 2:30 P

Not to sound all self rightous..with no criticism intended; I see the biggest problem is you are in charge of your life, so take the time off you've earned by being that 24/7 parent. The children are so lucky to have the stay at home parent experience but, they also benefit from a parent who isn't burned out too.

I've never been fond of hearing a woman say, " my husband " is watching or baby sitting the kids." so I can this or that.. Our "partner" is a "partner", and partners help raise the children. Stay at home parent does not mean we're required to be without any free time at all. A partner who stays at home works many more hours per day than one who leaves the house to a job, comes home to a house already in order, meals already cooked, and so on. So, fair is fair....take the time off you've earned and punch out for a little free time daily if at all possible. 5 times a week minimum at least.



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (136,626)
Fitness Minutes: (205,395)
Posts: 20,313
3/4/13 12:50 P

KATHLINE96,

Being a mom or three children is never an easy thing. You spend your whole day taking care of your family that there rarely does seem time to take for yourself. But, it really is important to take that time so that you don't feel so overwhelmed. Your partner is going to have to learn a little more patience with the kids.

If you find you can't take a walk for 30 minutes, try doing a couple of Coach Nicole's short 10-15 minute workouts. Do one in the morning and one in the evening, that's a 20-30 minute workout right there. You can break your workouts up into shorter segments and still get all the benefits.

Also, if you have a stroller, put the baby in the stroller and let your partner take care of the older ones while you take a walk. that's a compromise worth trying. the weather is starting to get better. start taking the children to the park. pushing them in a swing is a way to be more active. don't sit there watching them play. Play with them.

Mostly, you do the best you can because taking care of so many really can be overwhelming. Some days you might just want to lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bubble bath. that's a little something to help you relax a bit.

It's important to take care of your family, but it's important to take care of yourself too.

emoticon



NEWRUNNER2
Posts: 542
3/4/13 12:30 P

You already got some good tips from the other posters.

All I'll add is that you shouldn't dismiss the power of short 5 minute burst of activity (even shorter if you have to). Can you add these random burst of fitness into your day? Go up and down the stairs a few extra times when you take down the laundry. Do step-ups on the kitchen chairs while you're waiting for the water to boil. Find one minute to do 10 push-ups. If you do six things like this during the day, you've got 30 minutes of exercise right there. Everything helps.

There's no easy answer to the problem of feeling like you're alone in all of this. Maybe there's another friend that you can swap time with, even 20 minutes, or find someone there that you can talk to.




JUSTAGRRL
Posts: 522
3/4/13 10:00 A

I was a stay at home mom for 6 years...it drove me nuts. We're told that to be a good mom, we have to conform to this ideal image of Suzy Homemaker. It destroyed me.

Some things I tried to do to help the boredom/depression (that were helpful) are:

* Signed up for a gym that had child-minding. It was the best two hours of my day.

* Signed up for a course at a college. Again, it was time for me that involved using my brain.

* Went to every single mommy and me group in the city. There's usually 10-12 other moms with kids there who need to vent too.

* Went to a counselor. It really helped me to vent to someone who could listen without judgement.

My kids are in their teens now...and it goes by quickly in hindsight. But, that would never negate the feeling of sadness that I felt at the time. It's amazing how we can be surrounded by people (albeit little) all day, and be so lonely.

Please feel free to message me if you ever need an ear.

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BETHS60
Posts: 547
3/4/13 8:27 A

It's hard, Kathline. I have 3 challenging kids myself. I am sorry that your partner isn't helping.

I remember being in tears many years ago, because I was trying to go a yoga video, and my toddler came and sat on my leg while I was trying to lift it.

Here are some things that I tried that might help.

1, There was a school nearby, with a walking track and a playground where I could keep an eye on the kids.I could walk a mile a two with the little one in a stroller, while the older ones played.
2. As for not listening, here are some tips
- make it clear what they have to listen to. There are things that are required and things that are not. "Let's make snow angels" is optional. "Don't put that fork in the light socket" is not.
- state expectations, so they know what they have to do. "We are going into the grocery store. We will use are inside voices and stay with the cart."
- star charts. Even with very small kids you can do this. Each child gets a chart on the fridge, with their chores on it. I did it for a week at a time, and there were pictures for the pre-readers. A picture of toothbrush for brushing their teeth. A picture of a shirt for them dressing themselves. Older kids had to do their homework, and pack their backpacks for school the night before. Once they got enough stars, they got a prize. Something little, but fun, like getting to pick a movie, or extra computer time, or an extra story.
- one word commands. "Homework." "Bath." For some reason, there is less discussion if you just say one thing.

This will pass. The kids will get older, and more independent. But right now, you are exhausted and stressed. Do you have any neighbors or family members that can help? Can you find a Mothers Morning Out, or some kind of parenting group?

You can send me a message if I can do anything to help.





KATHLINE96
Posts: 3
3/4/13 7:17 A

I'm a stay at home mum with 3 kids that seem to never listen I feel like I have so much to do all the time and never really get time for myself but tonight I got my partner to stay home with all the kids sleeping so I could go for a walk and get some exercise and time to myself. When my partner calls me really pissed off because the baby woke up so how can I get some time for myself to relax .

I just feel stressed out all the time and feel like I havent got time to breath and it is to the point that it is affecting my blood pressure





 
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