Are you working with a counselor regarding your food issues? If not, I really think it would help and encourage you to do so. I feel absolutely horrible as a person I feel like a failure, I feel "dirty" inside because of the mistake I just cannot emphasize how awful I feel
This is not the language or thoughts of a person who eats 500-600 extra calories of healthy food. Most people would just shrug it off and vow to do better the next day. You ate some fruit and crackers, not devoured an entire pizza, a liter of pop and a carton of ice cream, which would be what most would consider a real binge.
Even somebody who is watching their diet would not express the depth of self-loathing you have expressed. Eating or not eating does not define your value as a person or make you good or bad. You don't seem to have internalized this truth, which is the first step on developing a healthy relationship with food.
Just because you didn't "binge" for 2 months does not mean you are cured or have overcome your issues. They are still there and must be dealt with. If you are in counseling please speak with your counselor or at the very least, share this with someone close to you. I wish you well.
Sometimes life just happens. I've been struggling with food issues for about 40 years - bingeing disorder, mostly, and one thing that's been different for me now is that I'm focusing on the POSITIVES.
I've been right where you are. FOCUS on the fact that you HAVEN'T binged in 2 months. All the great things you HAVE been doing.
This is life - we're all going to have off days. Practice loving yourself and your achievements. I know. It can be hard. But also - feel free to contact me anytime in terms of support on this. Been there, done that, DONE with it. ;-) Am I done with bingeing forever? Sadly, probably not. Does it have as much control over me as it did? Not at all. Do I binge with the same frequency? NOPE. It's very, very rare now.
OH!! And journaling the triggers around your binges(where were you, what was going on, etc., etc.) can give you insight into avoiding those situations.
Happy sparking today and again, contact me if you want more support!
Jen of Azure Ann Arbor, Michigan www.fitbit.com/user/268H7T BLC 29 Co-Cappy Azure Destinations I am The Valiant Falcon Your Superpower is Walking Through Walls Your Weakness is Frogs Your Weapon is Your Light Armor Your Mode of Transportation is Catapult Carpe Diem!
Fitness Minutes: (232,240)
5/19/13 6:25 A
You are not a bad person or an unhealthy one because you haven't been as attentive to losing weight as you'd like. Don't associate food with guilt. that's not healthy. I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself was drink 8 glasses of water today, that's still a step in the right direction. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. that's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time, thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.
Perhaps the reason you find yourself struggling is because your goals are TOO ambitious. Start with some simple changes first. don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Take baby steps literally and figuratively. Example, if you don't eat 6-9 servings of fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. If you're not drinking your water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. once you've achieved these goals. then you set new ones.
Don't try to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. The guilt is no good. the guilt is what causes these binging cycles. You have to learn to love yourself because if you don't love yourself now, you won't later.
Be kind to yourself as you would to others. Think progress, not perfection.
Fitness Minutes: (19,090)
1,724 5/18/13 10:27 P
Hey, if you drop one egg on the floor, do you go back and throw the rest of the carton on the floor, too? No, of course not. So instead of feeling like a failure, just try to learn from the experience as to what you can do differently. And most of all, forgive yourself. You're not failing, you're learning! Keep on!
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. -- J. London
Fitness Minutes: (36,558)
2,458 5/18/13 10:14 P
Hey, forgive yourself, go smile at yourself in the mirror, and congratulate yourself that you ate just healthy food! Nothing carb-crazy-junk-food in that list at all....
Also remember that you want to look at nutrients and calories over time.... We are given Calorie ranges to work with, so eat towards the lower end of your range for a few days, and I bet you won't notice any difference on a weekly weight check. A pound is 3500 calories (or something like that!) so it would take several really bad days to see an uptick in your weight trend.
Take care, patti
Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 5/18/2013 (22:19)
Patti "You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view" Obiwan Return of the Jedi
Fitness Minutes: (2,560)
5/18/13 8:12 P
I'd been doing so great, staying so motivated, and seeing major progress toward my diet & fitness goals. I'd tracked my food for a month or so, but then stopped because, admittedly, I hated maintaining the journal--it seemed such a hassle, and I thought I could trust myself . . . and I've done OK until the last few days, and today, I finally broke and binged. Probably an extra 500-600 calories on fruit, whole grain cereal and crackers, and walnuts/peanut butter, nothing horrible, but I feel absolutely horrible as a person. I've struggled with different disordered eating issues for nearly 5 years now, and even though I've come so far and improved so much, I am ashamed that I just am so weak sometimes and break down and sabotage myself. And I haven't exercised in 4 days because I've been traveling. I just need some support because I feel like a failure, I feel "dirty" inside because of the mistake. I haven't binged like this for over 2 months, which is a plus, but still, I just cannot emphasize how awful I feel. I'm going to start food journaling again tomorrow and get back on track, though. Just needed to rant.
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