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IVYLASS SparkPoints: (135,213)
Fitness Minutes: (42,697)
Posts: 6,723
1/14/14 11:26 A

Do your friends and family support you in your weight loss efforts? You need to learn to say, "No, thank you."

NSKYLINE115 SparkPoints: (29,462)
Fitness Minutes: (1,256)
Posts: 631
1/14/14 9:25 A

Hey MRSKJUSTICE,
i'm so sorry to hear about how crazy things are in your life right now, it must be so frustrating and scary even. I know from my own experience, I was having an awful year last year and decided to start Spartkpeople this year to help me get out of the rut, and the support that I have gotten in the short amount of time here is AMAZING. There are good people here that really care, and will support you and help you.
I've dealt with all sorts of anxiety growing up, the best advice I can give you is try not to stress over things you cant change or dont have control over... its so easy to get caught up in whats going on around us we forget to focus on ourselves. This has helped me sooo much over the years and I feel like I can breathe again. Baby steps is important, when we look at the whole picture its scary and overwhelming. I have charts all over my house and even at work to help me focus on the little things to reach my bigger goal. Sometimes you have to just sit down and say to yourself, 'Ya know what, i'm fine, I will be ok, today is a new day and if something stressful comes up I will deal with it and move onto the next task, but things will be ok'
Try to tackle one day at a time, its ok if you have a slip up here and there, we all do it! And the great thing is you recognize it and you are reaching out to people who will support you.
Good luck!!! *HUGS*

TRIMLAW SparkPoints: (28,437)
Fitness Minutes: (41,257)
Posts: 732
1/14/14 9:00 A

I would have to say the biggest single life changer was learning how to take quiet time. I know that sounds impossible when you have little ones, but even if it is 5 minutes (or even 3 minutes) to sit and meditate (even just taking five slow breaths in and then out) really, really made a difference for me. emoticon

MRSKJUSTICE Posts: 41
1/13/14 5:20 A

Thank you guys so much. Everything you say makes sense. I think I need help setting realistic goals. I'm a full time student, I have three kids under five, my marriage is falling apart, I'm living in a foreign country far away from my family, and right now I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I shift in between having zero appetite and wanting to eat everything in sight. I'm so tired all I want is caffeine, but then I feel jittery and anxious.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (149,265)
Fitness Minutes: (222,560)
Posts: 21,765
1/11/14 2:23 P

MRSKJUSTICE,

Every single member of Spark has experienced the same thing. We've all turned to comfort food at one time or another to ease the pain. But, that was the past. You can't change the past, but you can influence and change the future.

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Every little bit does make a difference.

Spark People encourages all its members to start with some simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Set simple goals. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones. And that's how you slowly begin to make healthier changes to your life.

I know things seems really overwhelming right now and that's why it is important to make small changes.

Also, I know that logging all those treats is going to seem pretty awful, but you need to be honest with yourself. Log everything that you can because it's a visual aid to help you learn to eat more healthfully as well as mindfully. You're not a bad person because you ate a little too much junk this week.You really can make a change, but you do have to start slowly.

If you don't have any support at home, the spark community will support you. post in the forums if you need a hug, advice, a spark goodie, etc.

emoticon

MSUEQUILTS SparkPoints: (61,305)
Fitness Minutes: (21,217)
Posts: 4,065
1/11/14 1:50 P

Oh boy, do I hear you! I have done this so many times!

Baby steps work the best. I see you have a tracker. That little gem has turned my life from a sedentary one to a more active one. I started with the smallest goal and I have now raised it twice. Focusing on the number of steps has helped get me moving.

I have restarted so many times! But I realized something, each time I restart, I am able to make better choices faster. Each time I restart, I am starting from a better place. It is not an easy thing for me, but I am getting better!

Guilt! Oh my gosh, that was a biggie for me. I even had a goal that was "I will say 5 nice things to myself today" You know, it sounds simple but it works!!!

Remember, we are all human. We all do, don't do, or eat things we wished we hadn't. But it's the future that we can change - one step at a time!

Edited by: MSUEQUILTS at: 1/11/2014 (13:51)
SPARK_COACH_JEN Posts: 57,967
1/11/14 1:34 P

Kris has given you some great things to think about. Have you considered talking to those around you about what you're trying to do and how they can support you? Here are a few articles related to that topic that might help:

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_art
icles.asp?id=1685

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_art
icles.asp?id=371

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=1325


You can't change mistakes of the past. But you have the power to change what happens from this moment forward. If you can start to realize that you do have control of the situation and you can make better choices, that empowers you to start to change.

What are a few small things you can do today to start turning things around?

Coach Jen

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (151,137)
Fitness Minutes: (34,370)
Posts: 22,454
1/11/14 3:57 A

You know, we all have times like this - I know I do, but they are few and far between. I have still managed to loose a considerable amount of weight, and have been maintaining for 3 years.

What happens one or two days, does NOT effect our weight for life. Just pick yourself up and start again.

I have a question, tho'! Are you new to this? If so, it might be that you have made a lot of changes all at once, which sets us up for the type of actions you have described. IF that is the case, then go back to what you were doing, and make changes gradually - baby steps! This means changing just one or two things and allowing your mind/body to get used to those changes before adding something else. Believe me when I say, IT WORKS. You will be amazed at how much easier it gets with time.

Regarding the Nutrition Tracker - I STILL put it into my tracker. I also weigh everything I eat for increased accuracy. We can't undo what we have eaten in that sense, but you might find that just having it there will help you to keep things under a little bit better control.

Have you had a good talk with your husband? If not, it might be a good time to sit down and tell him that you are wanting to improve your prospects for a long and healthy life. You never know, he might like to join you :-)

Kris

MRSKJUSTICE Posts: 41
1/11/14 3:19 A

A friend brought me a monster box of chocolates for my birthday. I have been sneaking the kids' Christmas candy. Yesterday a friend went out of her way to buy me a giant cream filled muffin at a bakery. I felt depressed after I booted my husband out of the house, and I baked up a batch of brownies. I ate hot brownies with moose track ice cream. He returned home with fried apple pies. I ate a brownie for breakfast. I don't want the negative feedback from putting all of that into the food tracker. I feel like all of my work to this point has just not been worth anything because I undid it all with the calorie bombs. I feel like I'll never stop being overweight because I don't know how to say "no" to either myself of anybody else.

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