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Feel very down, unmotivated like a loser & quitter



 
 
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BERKANA_T
Posts: 138
11/29/12 3:32 P

I'm not a fan of the after taste I experience with artificial sweeteners, so I tend to avoid them.

But I do love mint tea. I usually drink it when I have an upset tummy though. I've never heard of the link between mint and feeling full, but I'm definitely willing to give it a try. I have some good mint teas that, since they're herbal teas and have no caffeine, I can drink in the evenings. I'll try it for a week or so and see if I notice a difference!

I do like the idea of the gum and coffee/tea at staff get togethers. I may have to pick up some gum and try it, although for meetings and such, gum is definitely frowned upon. But even just sitting at my desk working it would probably still help, because my mouth would be busy along with my hands as I type.

I just keep trying different things, since one thing will not work for every situation or every person. Thanks for the ideas!



MAZDAWD50
Posts: 237
11/29/12 3:06 P

I will usually keep some no sugar added hard candy or the gum that tastes like desert(love the apple one) and this will usually satisfy my craving. Also, I have read mint can trigger the brain to think you are full so I chew sugar free mint gums, drink mint tea or just have something with a minty smell close by. Doesn't always work, but it works more often than not. Chewing gum usually keeps me from dipping into the goodies at staff get together s also. I will chew gum and hold a cup of coffee or tea with both hands. My mouth and hands feel like they are busy so the temptation is not as great. I know some people aren't gum chewers but it has always been a great low cal treat for me. Also, some people find that artificial sugars are a trigger for them or they just don't want to have anything to do with them. I have never found them to be a problem so it is an option for me. Everyone has to find out what works for them.



BERKANA_T
Posts: 138
11/29/12 12:16 P

I USED to go through the same thing. I was the queen of "Well, I screwed up today. I'll start tomorrow instead." and "I'm too tired/too busy/too whatever to exercise today. I'll start tomorrow instead."

There were lots of 'starting tomorrows' in my mental conversations with myself. But guess what, tomorrow never comes! I FINALLY figured out that I'm stuck with today, so I might as well do something TODAY! It took a lot of trying different things to get to the point where I finally started losing the weight. I've found a good starting place for what works for me, although it's a work in progress that I know will continue to change and evolve over time.

Eeyore, Singingmaiden, and Mrhutch, I think your idea of a partnership is a great one! Having someone to give me subtle, and not so subtle, support has made a huge difference for me this time around. That's one of the things I like so much about Spark...there are so many total strangers out there who are all cheering for each other. It feels good.

From reading your posts, it seems that you're all having issues with 'blowing' your diet plans, probably mid-afternoon or in the evening (based on my own personal experiences with the phenomenon). What's worked for me is having a bag of jelly beans in my desk drawer. Now don't get me wrong, I'm more than capable of eating the entire bag of jelly beans if a really bad craving hits. But 10 jelly belly beans equals about 40 calories and I do limit the size of the bag. When I get a sugar craving that I just can't resist, I very deliberately count out exactly 10 jelly beans and then savour each and every one.

Only once has that not more than satisfied my sugar craving. I know it sounds a bit backwards, but knowing that I have access to sugar if I need it, without resorting the vending machine downstairs, actually makes it easier for me to resist the sugar cravings. I also always bring several pieces of fruit with me to work. I'll usually resort to the fruit first and the jelly beans second now, in my efforts to stave off those cravings. I've found that it is EXTREMELY rare for me to 'blow' my diet with mid afternoon snacks now.

Evenings are still a bit of a struggle for me. I'm a work in progress, after all. If you find something that works for you, let me know! I'm willing to try different options.

Edited by: BERKANA_T at: 11/29/2012 (12:18)


MRHUTCH
SparkPoints: (8,147)
Fitness Minutes: (3,801)
Posts: 32
11/29/12 10:05 A

Sure sounds like a good idea! Thanks.



SINGINGMAIDEN
Posts: 249
11/29/12 10:03 A

We'll be sending each other sparkmail messages, just chatting about our day and our fitness/nutrition goals. It may help to feel accountable to someone, ya know?



MARITIMER3
SparkPoints: (110,320)
Fitness Minutes: (62,896)
Posts: 5,857
11/29/12 10:03 A

I'm feeling the same way, and have just read your whole thread. There is lots of good advice, and I'm going to try to follow it too.




MRHUTCH
SparkPoints: (8,147)
Fitness Minutes: (3,801)
Posts: 32
11/29/12 10:02 A

What exactly is a partnership that you're talking about?



SINGINGMAIDEN
Posts: 249
11/29/12 10:00 A

MRHUTCH, would you like to join our partnership? The 3 of us can support each other.



MRHUTCH
SparkPoints: (8,147)
Fitness Minutes: (3,801)
Posts: 32
11/29/12 9:59 A

Wow MAZDAWD50 , that made so much sense. You're totally right. Why don't we do that? I know that I do it as an excuse to be able to keep eating the junk food that I started with like the chocolate or the fries or the milkshakes. But, you are right. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if I only ate 1 or 2 candybars and then think, what the heck am I doing? Okay now I will eat healthy for the rest of the day because that wasn't the best choice of food. And it wouldn't end up equally 3 or 4 lbs at the end of the week. So, I should really try that from now on. Maybe I should come up with some kind of system where every time I slip up and eat something way unhealthy or way too many calories, I correct it by eating a piece of fruit or a vegetable right after to get back on the right track. Instead of eating more unhealthy foods for the rest of the day. I should have something healthy on hand at all times so that as soon as I mess up, I can hurry up and eat something healthy. Anybody think that might help?



MRHUTCH
SparkPoints: (8,147)
Fitness Minutes: (3,801)
Posts: 32
11/29/12 9:48 A

EEYORE2609 EXACTLY!!! I know that I am soooo sick of feeling like crap all the time. I used to have such high self esteem cuz I knew I looked good! Now I don't even want my own fiance to see me without my clothes on and we've been together for 7 years!! I feel disgusting when I look in th mirror, with or without clothes. And I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to be able to go to the store, grab anything that looks cute on the rack and know that it'll look just as cute on me. Instead of going to the store, seeing cute clothes on the rack and thinking, man I wish I could wear something like that, it would be so cute on someone else.



MAZDAWD50
Posts: 237
11/28/12 10:42 P

Ok, good buddies(I hope no one minds me calling you that) I think we need to start debunking some of the negative things we keep telling ourselves and stop beating ourselves up. That just defeats us before we even really get going. MRHutch you used a phrase that I have used many times in the past - I am sure most of us have - and that is basically "I've already messed up or blown it so I might as well keep going". To start with, why do we look at it as "messing up" or "blowing it". Ok, so we didn't make a good choice in that instant. That doesn't mean that we never make good choices or that we aren't capable of making good choices - or even that we can't make a good choice in the next moment or the next meal. We just have to realize that one slip up is not a major disaster and that we CAN recover from it. It is the "so I might as well keep going" that puts the program at risk. That extra 300 or 500 calories that the slip up cost us doesn't add up to a lb of weight. It's all the other calories that come with the "so I might as well keep going" that cause the real damage. If we can stop after the slip up we can do something to minimize the damage. So it seems to make sense that instead of getting down on ourselves because of the slip up we should concentrate on moving forward and give ourselves something to feel good about in that we are picking ourselves up instead of beating ourselves down.

We would probably be better off to say "Ok, so that was a poor choice, but it's not the end of the world. I'll just make my next choice the right one." It is the sum of the choices that will get us to our goals, not this or that particular choice.

Now, anyone else want to take at crack at kicking our negative thoughts out of our lives. It can be very motivating.



EEYORE2609
Posts: 240
11/28/12 10:20 P

Mrhutch, that is EXACTLY what I am going through...I did great all day today. Until I stopped at Wegman's and bought a bunch of crap. Then after I stuff my face, I look at my bulging belly, my flabby thighs, my puffy face, and I HATE myself! And today I just scheduled my hernia operation for December 28th, and now I am wondering if I should even bother trying to work out because after the operation I won't be allowed to do anything for 4 weeks. So already I am trying to use the surgery as an excuse!

But I don't want to live this way anymore. I hate it, I hate what it does to me, and I hate how it makes me feel. I HAVE to make changes - NOW!



MRHUTCH
SparkPoints: (8,147)
Fitness Minutes: (3,801)
Posts: 32
11/28/12 10:41 A

Everything that you have said, except for having surgery, I am feeling also. The only thing is, I didn't have any surgery to even have that as an excuse. But like you said, I am too tired after work, I'm too stressed, I don't have enough time, the kids need something first, my husband needs something first, all of these excuses I use in my own head. And I'm getting nowhere fast. When I first started a few months ago, I was so motivated and excited and I lost 10 lbs and had so much more energy and felt great! And all of a sudden, all motivation was just gone. I don't even know why. I ate one bad thing that led to another bad thing that led to an excuse of why I was eating those bad things. I would say things like, I'll get back on my "diet" tomorrow or next week. And then I would eat something else unhealthy and miss another day of working out and it would start all over again. And all of those tomorrows and next weeks turned in to months and I have no officially gained back each and every one of those 10 lbs that I had felt so great for losing. So now I really am starting all over again. And this time I really just don't have the motivation that I did before. I don't know why. I don't want to look like this anymore, I don't want to feel like this anymore. But I am just too darn lazy to want to do the work it takes to change that. Every morning I get up and think to myself, okay today is the day I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna eat healthy and exercise and drink my water. I'll do super good til late afternoon when my sweet tooth kicks in. And so I'll go to the vending machine and eat something totally fattening with a thousand calories and then the rest of the day I use the excuse that I already messed up so I can just keep eating unhealthy for the rest of the day and start again tomorrow. And every day it's the same thing. Now I am just so dissappointed and disgusted with myself and I don't know how to get out of that groove and back on the right track.



EEYORE2609
Posts: 240
11/27/12 10:52 P

Slimmerkiwi, I did indeed get clearance from my dr before starting to workout again. She was surprised because when she scheduled the surgery she told me I would want 2 weeks off of work and would be in pain and discomfort for quite some time since she was actually carving things out of my ovaries. But the morning after the surgery I was doing dishes and laundry (albeit extremely slowly, lol), and after 3 days off I was back at work. Don't worry, I moved slowly, took my time, rested frequently, and listened to my body. Less than 2 weeks after the surgery, she gave me permission to start on the treadmill with walking as long as I promised to continue to listen to my body and stop if in pain.

The problem is that even though I was ready physically to start working out slowly, I didn't take care to eat healthy. I used the surgery as another "crutch" to excuse my poor eating and workout habits. And as time passed and my eating habits grew worse, I lost more and more energy, and more and more motivation.

But I am going to try so hard now to at least get my eating under control...I do KNOW what I should be eating, I have been doing this for several years and am pretty well educated about the healthy lifestyle I want to lead, I have just been too lazy to follow it!

Thanks for the encouragement :)



EEYORE2609
Posts: 240
11/27/12 10:43 P

Thanks, Mazdawd40. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but it is very frustrating, because I am extremely impatient. But I am going to keep trying and hopefully get over this hurdle.



EEYORE2609
Posts: 240
11/27/12 10:41 P

Singingmaiden, I would love to have a "partner" to be accountable to! I have begged friends, family, and even my boyfriend to help me with this, but no one has taken me up on it. They support me, but are not actively involved in helping me. I think having someone to go through this with me would help a great deal.

I am not sure my sparkmail is working properly, ever since I joined I would get an email at my normal email saying I had sparkmail, but when I went to my sparkmail, there wouldn't be anything. If you can, send me a test email, and if I don't respond within 24 hours, please post on this thread and let me know so I can check it out.

Thanks!



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (125,159)
Fitness Minutes: (32,590)
Posts: 21,257
11/27/12 10:37 P

Hi EEYORE2609 - it sounds like you are being FAR too hard on yourself! You had surgery in September. You body DOES take time to heel! Just because any incision that yo see may have heeled, it doesn't mean that the inside has. Your body needs energy to facilitate that process. You have more surgery coming up!

I hope that BEFORE you undertake any exercise, that you get a clearance from your Dr.

As far as your nutrition is concerned, if you make poor food choices (processed junk, soda, etc.) then your body isn't getting the nutrition - it is no wonder that you don't have the energy. You need to fuel your body properly. You will find that once you get back to healthy eating, with plenty of fruit/veges and quality protein (very important for heeling) then your energy will improve and along with that will also come that motivation.

Kris






MAZDAWD50
Posts: 237
11/27/12 10:06 P

I find the best thing to do is to not thing to far ahead. It usually just gets me discouraged. So I don't think about being good for a week or a month or doing exercises for the next week straight. I just look at the next meal or the next snack or the next exercise session. And if there is a slip up it doesn't matter because I have the next one to get it right. It would always be discouraging to me that you can be good for 7 days straight and one meal can blow it all until I realized that one meal did not blow it all. It was the way that I looked at it that was discouraging not the act itself because I could get right back on track. So now, instead of letting one slip up derail me for days I just get back into the game for the next meal. If I really look at it and analyze it I find that one slip up does more damage to my mind than to my program. If I can overcome the effect on my mind, I can move ahead instead of standing still... or worse...falling further behind.

Hang in there. Just worry about doing what you need to do in the next moment, not what it will take to get to the end. Try to look at every positive step as a building block and every negative step as a lesson on what not to do next time. Don't know if I am making any sense, but one of the great things about SparkPeople is that we don't have to be on this journey alone. I am rooting for you.



SINGINGMAIDEN
Posts: 249
11/27/12 8:43 P

Sounds to me like we're in the same boat. I started about at the same weight you did and I think we're about the same now. And with my job stress (I teach elementary and middle school music) I've been exhausted, not eating right, and I haven't been real consistent about working out until the past week or two.

I propose a partnership. We can communicate by sparkmail and at least be good for accountability to each other. We can share recipes and workouts too if you like. Even if it's not with me, find a partner. It'll help you feel less alone in this.

You can do this!
Kat



EEYORE2609
Posts: 240
11/27/12 8:00 P

I made a blog entry about it, and decided to post on the forum to get some more encouragement. I have been eating like a pig, not working out, I'm tired, grumpy, lazy, and just want to sleep. A little background:

I started at 218 pounds and lost over 60 pounds by myself just by eating right, counting calories and working out every day. For the last 2 years my weight has fluctuated between 145 and 160. In September I had surgery to remove ovarian cysts. They discovered a small hernia where my appendix used to be, so I have to have another surgery to repair that.

When I was working out every day and eating right, I felt FANTASTIC. I was on top of the world, and was sure that my ideal weight of approximately 130 pounds was right around the corner. And so it probably was...had I stuck to my healthy lifestyle. Instead, I let myself go.I started making excuses. I told myself one little cheat day wouldn't hurt. Then I started saying I would go back to my healthy eating "tomorrow". I made excuses - I work 10 hour days, I have too much to do, I'm really tired, I'm really stressed, etc. Lies. All lies.

Where did my commitment go? I watch motivational youtube videos about people who have lost weight, and I feel inspired. I tell myself that could be me. I go to bed resolving to wake up in the morning with fresh determination, and stick to it. But lately I just can't make it work. I come home from work tired and don't feel like working out. I laze around all afternoon and evening, reading and watching netflix. So unhealthy.

At this point, I'm stuck. Does anyone have some kick-in-the-pants advice for me? Any motivational tips? I would greatly appreciate any help I can get!

Thanks!



 
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