Fitness Minutes: (77,490)
2/10/14 6:42 P
I had to travel recently to attend a funeral for a family member. The combination of traveling and an event that strongly revolves around food left me very anxious when thinking about how I was going to stay on track. I ended up eating foods I don't typical choose (comfort foods), but I still tried to track consistently and honestly and stay within my range. Knowing that it's going to be a struggle is the first step. I then knew I was going to have try that much harder to stay on track, so I was that much more intentional in choosing what I put in my mouth during that time. If I went slightly over, I didn't beat myself up about it, but after that week I got right back on track before letting anything get away from me. Know at the end of the day, you have to continue to do what's best for you and face yourself in the mirror.
Rather than trying to "counsel" her, just listen. Often that is all a person needs. Maybe suggest that she talk to her Dr, even if it isn't a medical issue. I had a Dr who was really good like that, and I could talk to him about anything and everything, and often did. The Dr is in a better place to provide the facts, in part because there is neutrality, and in part because he/she has a better understanding of the very complex issues surrounding grief, etc. He/she can refer her to someone if it is deemed necessary.
Unfortunately, we can't control what others do or eat - we can only control our own choices. If your sister eats at your house, just make sure it is good nutrition, tasty and filling.
BIG hugs, Kris
Fitness Minutes: (1,058)
2/8/14 1:16 P
I am trying the best that I can. And the family has been supportive, well anyways most of the family...I am trying to help my sister through this all but she seems to revert back to her old ways. I am trying to be supportive as best as I can be, unfornuately there is only so much that I can do. She is also an emotional eater and I am trying the help her see the ways that this is affecting her ever day life. We are in our mid 20's and both of us are over the 200 pound mark. I am trying to turn my life style around so that i can be a better person not only to myself but to my kids. I want to be able to do things with them without getting winded. Trying to help her and not point out all the negatives is hard. Is there any way I can help her with out sounding too horrible? She has two little ones and she complains all the time that nothing fits and i know her weight issue is eating at her self esteem also. Any ideas?
I can certainly empathize with your situation. It's very difficult, the best advice I could give is to set your mind on doing something else besides dysfunctional behaviours, like overeating, and surrounding yourself with supportive people as you go through this difficult time. You are worth the effort and commitment to yourself
I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have handled the physical side quite well, and that in itself can help handle the emotional side.
Unfortunately, we don't know what the future has in store for us, and we just have to handle it the best we can when the time comes.
BIG hugs, Kris xxxx
Fitness Minutes: (1,058)
2/7/14 5:51 P
We lost the loved one on the 14th of January. It was actually another family memeber that we lost and was sudden. I did do some of the things you guys mentioned. Like when i do the emotional eating, i chose the healthier snacks. Unfortunately, the walking was out because we got hit with a snow storm that decided to knock our county down for a couple of days. But all in all, i have only gained 2 pounds and am only 2 pounds off my weight track mark. With the one memeber that is still ill and isnt doing so well, we are taking a day at a time. And I am preparing myself a little better mentally. I have talked with our family doctor and he seems to think i am handling this well. I just hope when this family memeber passes ill still be able to handle it this well. Thank you for all the support.
I am sorry that you are having to go through this. A year ago, when my husband died very unexpectedly (fine one minute and talking to me over breakfast, and literally dead on the floor the next), I decided that eating carte blanche wasn't going to bring him back or do my health any good. As a result I mostly stuck with my eating regime, and I am really pleased that I did.
Given than you have mentioned that you have previously suffered depression, I think that you would be wise to talk with your Dr and ask for a referral to a Therapist who specializes in Grief Therapy. They will be able to give you the tools to help you through this. IF you are on medications, then it may be that they might need a review in the short-term at least. Your Dr will discuss this with you.
I hope that you find a healthy way to work through your grief. I ended up going back to Therapy and it is helpful. I also find it helpful to put on The Rolling Stones CD's. My husband absolutely idolized them, but I could take or leave them, preferring other types of music. The funny thing is, I haven't been able to play MY music much at all - it is mostly what my husband liked. I am playing it "to and for him" and that brings me peace. I also have a favourite fairly recent photo of him where he has a lovely slight smile, and relaxed-looking face, and his eyes are looking at me, regardless of where I am - sort of like the painting "The Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci.
I am thinking of you, and hope that you can find solace in your happy memories.
1/11/14 7:33 P
I'm sorry for what you are going through.
Maybe take steps now to remove all junk from your house so it isn't there.
I know it's hard to think about exercising when you are sad, going for a 15 minute walk a day might help you get out and think a little - a little time for you to be alone with your thoughts.
If you need to, please come back and talk, ok? There are always people here ready to lend an ear. :)
1/11/14 6:45 P
Plan ahead on what you are going to do when you want to eat and you know it isn't what you need to do. Really sit down and write out. When I am tempted to stress eat I will do__________ instead. Make a list of the blanks. I think we think we shouldn't be tempted or we should be past those thoughts. so we don't plan. Agree to do a certain number off of your list and then if you still want to eat allow yourself something. I am sorry loosing someone is very tough.Most of all be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up if you slip. Plan as best as you can and be kind to yourself no matter what happens.
Fitness Minutes: (284,938)
1/11/14 2:41 P
Hello, Amber !
Coping with the loss of a loved one is never easy. Don't beat yourself up because you turn to food for comfort. This is something every single member has done. We've all turned to food when faced with emotional stress. I am a firm believer that stress is a neglected aspect of weight gain. If a person could reduce their stress, they'd automatically reduce their waistline.
And this is something I'm going to recommend to you. You need to find ways to reduce your stress that don't involve food. When you feel an urge to run to the kitchen, put on your coat and take a walk. Walking is not only great cardiovascular exercise, it's a great way to reduce stress. Do you have a gym membership ? Go to the gym and have a workout. Take a class. Have a good sweat. Having a good workout helps to reduce stress.
If you don't want to go out, blog or write out your feelings instead of eating your feelings. Write it all down and keep writing until every emotion is on paper. Writing out your feelings can be very cathartic.
There really are a lot of different things you can do other than eating to deal with your stress. Try taking a walk. Try sitting and sipping a cup of tea. Try writing or blogging. It really can help.
Fitness Minutes: (22,318)
4,310 1/11/14 1:42 P
So sorry about your sad news. I do the same emotional eating. I try to curb it a bit by having healthy snacks prepared to go. Make sure that you eat protein with those carbs. Try drinking a glass of water before eating. It fills up the tummy so you don't eat as much.
Here's some ideas, raw nuts and string cheese, whipped cream cheese instead of regular, cookies made with whole grains and honey, fruit, veggie tray.
Walking is always good, but hard to do when depressed. Take a stroll around the block with another griever and have a talk while you walk.
Don't feel guilty or talk bad to yourself!
Hope that helps!
Fitness Minutes: (24,670)
2,738 1/11/14 12:47 P
Knowing ahead of time what your likely reaction will be (comfort eating), can you prepare yourself to think before you eat? You've been there before, right? Did eating actually make you feel any better? I'm guessing not. Would this person want you harming yourself in grief over them? No way. Maybe try looking for another way to deal with your emotions, like taking a long walk and think about them.
I have no experience with clinical depression, but I know how much changing my thinking has helped me approach challenges armed to succeed rather than to fail. Best of luck.
Fitness Minutes: (3,647)
148 1/11/14 12:05 P
I've never been watching my diet when I've lost someone close to me, but when I'm upset in general, a walk provides my body something to do while my mind runs off and does its thing. If I choose to take it outside, it also has the benefit of taking me away from food sources.
Fitness Minutes: (1,058)
1/11/14 11:26 A
We have a family memeber that isnt doing so well and the doctors say any day now. I am scared that once this person does pass that i will sink into a depression and start to eat my way to comfort. I did it in the past when a good friend pasted away and ate and ate to the point i gained 25 pounds in 3 weeks. I have gotten past the depression stage and am in the acceptance but I still have the feeling the i may end up going back to the old way to comfort myself and thats with food. Has anyone else ever done this and how do i prevent it? Please help!
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