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DIANE7786 Posts: 4,898
6/12/12 2:12 A

I’ve been eating healthy and exercising for several years. At first my family and friends made similar comments--some much worse than those you mentioned. They made me feel uncomfortable because I wasn’t fully committed to a healthy lifestyle. Yes, I wanted what they were eating. No, I didn’t want my oversized body. It was a serious choice.

Think about why your family makes negative comments instead of supporting your efforts toward improved health. Most likely it’s because you are doing what they know they should. I know that judging look too well. Yes, it’s intimating. Consider that they are really judging what it will take to make you fail. They wonder how they will feel when you reach your weight goal, look great and have a lot of energy.

Learn to mentally turn negative comments into positive thoughts. You’re not trying to be healthy, you’re succeeding. Yes, you count calories because it helps you succeed. Why would anyone think you want that nasty high fat sugary stuff in your body when there are so many tastier, healthier choices? For a while I kept a journal. Writing helps put their silliness into perspective.

I have a treat about once a week, but never with family or friends who don’t support me. Once at a family gathering I ate a cookie. They were gleeful, saying they knew I wouldn’t eat healthy for long. Their next conversation was comparing their diabetic, blood pressure and cholesterol pills. That visual still motivates me.

You are motivated. You have a lot of support on this site. Post often. You can reach your goals!

Edited by: DIANE7786 at: 6/12/2012 (02:15)
SWANATOPIA Posts: 1,049
6/11/12 11:17 P

My family did the same thing to me and for some made me stronger and more stubborn. 3 months later, 30 pounds lighter and they aren't doing that to me a matter of dad started exercising and lost 25 pounds already and my brother started jogging a few weeks ago.

You have to show them that it is possible to say no!

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,313)
Fitness Minutes: (15,545)
Posts: 9,713
6/11/12 7:47 P

Just smile and laugh. Brush it off. "Maybe, but I haven't had a problem lately. I'll let you know if I do, though!" And change the subject.

you don't HAVE to answer. YOu don't have to respond. You don't have to listen!

The results will speak for themselves. As your weight drops, they'll see it, and they'll have to realize that it's working.

You know that you're doing the right thing. YOu don't have to justify yourself to ANYONE!

SPARKER87 Posts: 366
6/11/12 6:59 P

Gosh I wish I could go through all these replies to this topic and click a 'LOVE' button or maybe a ''THANK YOU'' button on all of them!!! They really helped my frame of mind.

I guess my biggest thing is HOW my family makes me feel for trying to be healthier.
The give me the 'strange looks', the comments on ''oooo...trying to be healthy.''. and ''I think she's the only one who even counts calories in this family''.,Or 'MY FAVORITE'---''Are you surrrrrrrre you don't want this; icecream, cookie, candybar, cake, etc.'' The hardest thing might be the look they give me when I'm eating a salad while they're eating chicken fried steaks or double bacon cheeseburgers. That judging look. The look that says ''whatever...really?? grilled chicken on healthy veggies? know you'll be hungry in an hour."

I don't know how to deal with that.

JENMC14 Posts: 2,786
6/11/12 9:12 A

Bad days happen. Heck, I've had bad weeks. I always feel like crap (phsically and often emotionally as well) afterwards, but I have those moments every now and again any way. Give yourself permission to not be perfect and move on. Try your best to remember how eating so crappy makes you feel. Whenever I'm tempted to cheat, I try to really dig into those memories (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't!). One day isn't the end of the world. It willr eally only be a blip on the radar. Avoid the scale. It will be up, but not because you gained weight, because you're bloated and holding water from all the sodium, but seeing that number will only make you feel worse. Hang in there!

DIANE7786 Posts: 4,898
6/11/12 12:19 A

Eating healthy is a learning process. How would have handled a similar situation a month ago, before you chose to start eating healthy foods? My guess is you would have politely asked the waitress for the correct order. You wouldn’t have considered the possibility that you were making a scene that caused others to feel uncomfortable. Would your family have accepted a salad chicken wrap instead of their favorite chicken dinner?

I’ve been eating healthy for several years. At first I felt deprived eating healthy food while others indulged. Then I started looking at their food and telling myself I don’ t want that fat, calories, sugar, etc in my body. After a few weeks my tastes changed and I really preferred my healthy choices. I have occasional treats, but I choose what and when to have them.

Sometimes making healthy choices takes courage. My family and most of my friends choose unhealthy foods. I take a cooler to their homes. It’s filled with foods similar to what they’re serving. I make the food colorful and appetizing so no one can say I'm depriving myself. At first they thought I was strange but after a while they were used to it. I enjoy myself more now that I don’t have a heavy, bloated stomach from overeating fat and sugar.

You made choices last weekend. There’s no reason to feel horrible or regretful. One weekend doesn’t make a difference over time. Consider it a learning experience and move forward toward your goals.

Edited by: DIANE7786 at: 6/11/2012 (00:22)
LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 25,971
6/10/12 4:20 P

"This weekend I ordered the same thing. But they brought out a chicken dinner for me. I didn't want to cause a scene or make any of my family feel uncomfortable. I ate the fried chicken dinner and crunchy fries with ketchup. "

Oooohhh, you want to stop doing that!

What that teaches your family is that you really don't want to eat healthy... and that when they buy you something you WILL eat it!
You really need to say 'no thank you'. EVERY time they do that.

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,313)
Fitness Minutes: (15,545)
Posts: 9,713
6/10/12 4:07 P

Been there, done that. More times than I can count. It's OKAY to have a day of indulgence now and again! If you went over, you haven't sabotage yourself for life. Look at my ticker. Somewhere in this past 7 months, there was a heinous day of Outback Steakhouse (3,000+ calories that day), a chinese buffet run that I didn't even track because I couldn't count that high after my second helping of lo mein and sushi, and more. It's OKAY to be imperfect. It's okay to even have fried chicken now and again. When my family eats fried chicken, I let myself have a piece. I don't believe in denial.

For now, you're dealing with the immediate consequences of your indulgence. The upset stomach, the bloating. The best thing I can say for that is keep drinking lots of water, eat tums like there's no tomorrow and pray. LOL. You'll get by it.

And next time that cinnamon bun is calling your name... maybe you'll remember this. TReat this as a positive thing. You're not suffering for no reason, you're learning a lesson about overindulgence. Moderation is okay, but overindulgence hurts... now you've got the memories to remind you what hapens when you go overboard.

Don't beat yourself up. This is just one more lesson in your road to healthy living... no room for perfection on this road! Don't focus on the mistakes of the weekend, focus on the things you did right, and the next healthy choice you'll make. Make your next decision a healthy one, and you're back on track. Just like that!

Edited by: DRAGONCHILDE at: 6/10/2012 (16:08)
6/10/12 4:03 P

Think the best thing that can happen in situations like the one you suffered, is getting sick from all that gooey stuff. It doesn't take long to figure out that eating that sort of delicious, but very bad, food has consequences later...other than leading to weight gain.

The next time you are tempted to eat fried chicken AND the amazing cinnamon roll, remember that you will feel sick later. That's what keeps me from eating the same food as my family (which is also very much in love with fried foods).

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (196,935)
Fitness Minutes: (293,998)
Posts: 27,056
6/10/12 2:36 P

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Don't beat yourself up because you ate more than you wanted to eat over the weekend. These things happen to us all. For the rest of the week, just do your best to be more mindful of what you eat. try eating a few extra servings of fresh fruit and veggies each day. No need to feel guilty. You did your best to make some good initial choices. That shows that you ARE being more mindful of the food you're eating. change does take time. No one ever became a healthier eater overnight.

In future, if you don't want the fried chicken or cinnamon roll, it is okay to say,"no thank you, I'm full". If you'd really like to have some of the cinnamon roll, don't eat the whole thing. Ask if someone will share one with you instead. This way, you decrease the amount of calories you intake and you still get to have some of the cinnamon roll. Goodness knows one of those rolls could feed 2-3 people. So, why not split one three ways ? I've done that with friends before.

I used to eat fried chicken regularly. however, because I'm a much healthier eater, too much fried food upsets my tummy too. that's why I have to be careful how much I order. one or two small pieces is okay. If someone gives me a larger portion, I take off as much as the fried skin and coating as possible. that helps decrease the calories and the oil content.

DUSK-2-DAWN Posts: 377
6/10/12 2:33 P

Take a deep breath.

You had a bad day, or 2 days, that's it. Start right now to plan your next healthy meal. Drink plenty of water, plan out your meals for the week, get back on track and keep going.

When I have a bad day or days, I read some success stories, and see that everyone has times where they eat something that they didn't plan on. But you have to put it in the past and keep on going forward.

Good luck, you can do it!

SPARKER87 Posts: 366
6/10/12 2:27 P

So this weekend was my sister's birthday. My Family went to a fried chicken place that's a favorite of the locals. It's been a favorite of my family's for years. Anyway, the last time we stopped at the restaurant, I ordered a salad chicken wrap (minus the dressing and extra on the spinach leaves). It was hard to watch my sister and Aunt eat the crispy fries and crunchy fried chicken. But I knew I was making the healthy choice.

This weekend I ordered the same thing. But they brought out a chicken dinner for me. I didn't want to cause a scene or make any of my family feel uncomfortable. I ate the fried chicken dinner and crunchy fries with ketchup. I got so sick later. (after three weeks of eating healthy, fried foods suck!)

But I didn't stop! My family went to a local bakery and bought these awesome GIANT CINNAMON ROLLS!! Packed with cream cheese and caramel and nuts!! I couldn't resist!
Then we got home and my aunt had just bought the Samoa cookies from the Girl scouts.

This weekend I made choices that I'm regretting. Today I feel horrible. It doesn't help that it's been POURING rain these last four days. I need help! I still have the kitchen on my mind. please anyone....some good words of advice.

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