Sounds like you made a little breakthrough there!
If you haven't yet, please read The Spark. You can probably get it at the library, or it's $4.99 on Amazon for the Kindle.
I've done this yo-yo thing (even using SP several times over the last 6 years) for about 15 years now, and I can tell you that it gets easier. Don't give up for the long term. If you fall down, don't stay down.