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ANARIE Posts: 12,467
11/23/13 11:01 P

I think it might be nice for you to find a kind way to let your brother break the news to the grown-ups that he's too old for Santa. Are there any younger children around? If so, you can give him a hug and say, "I'm so proud of you for helping us keep the Santa magic going for the little ones," or something along those lines. Make it clear that you're sort of inviting him into the adult world, and make sure he knows that he won't stop getting to celebrate if he doesn't believe. In fact, maybe instead of trying to start a new child-oriented tradition for him, you could find some way to start a new young adult tradition. For example, he's old enough to play Santa or at least Santa's elf at a nursery school, a family gathering, a shelter, a nursing home, etc. There's plenty of time to set that up for him and help him with a costume, and it would cost you less than $30 and probably create a whole new bond between you as young adult peers instead of grown-up sister and baby brother.

And if he really, truly does still believe in Santa, I think you and your parents probably ought to sit down and talk, and agree to find a therapist for him. A 12-year-old who still believes in Santa isn't developing normally, because by that age they should have strong enough critical thinking skills to say to themselves, "It *can't* be real. It's just not possible to fly around the world in one night with magic reindeer. And if Santa were real, poor kids and rich kids would all get the same kinds of presents." If a 12-year-old isn't drawing those kinds of conclusions, there is something wrong.

But your mom and dad probably will tell you, "He doesn't really believe. We're all just pretending for one more year. I think your idea of having him help wrap the Santa toys for his little cousins is great."

My brother and I both kept pretending for years because we each thought the other believed, and even when we caught each other peeking in the "Santa" closet, we didn't want to spoil the fun for our mom! She finally asked us flat-out when I was 9 and he was almost 11, and it was a big relief for everyone (especially since I still got a doll and he still got a truck.)



SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (8,823)
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11/23/13 7:26 A

Sadly, I agree with others that YOU are the one who believes in fantasies, one of them being that your 12 year old brother believes in Santa. If he goes to a public school, or any other school where there are children his age, and does not have severe learning disabilities or handicaps, there is no way he believes in Santa. You need to accept that. Then go ahead and decide if you want the elf for you and for your brother. I have not heard of this elf thing until recently.

SUEACCT SparkPoints: (35,309)
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11/22/13 2:26 P

Every one is different. If your brother still believes, go with a guy elf for him and a girl for you...makes it a little more believeable if you are both being watched!

FAITHP44 SparkPoints: (51,523)
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11/22/13 1:38 P

I've never heard of Elf on a shelf! It sounds fun - but I bet your brother doesn't really believe in Santa Claus any more so he certainly won't start believing in this elf thing!

Could the elf stay on the shelf all year to check up on everyone's elfy eating? emoticon

SHERYLDS Posts: 12,129
11/22/13 9:25 A

emoticon with BLUENOSE63
You are being scammed by a 12 year old.... emoticon

But hey....if you want to leave a video game, money, or candy, next to an elf doll on a shelf,
I would go along with that too.

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 11/22/2013 (09:28)
MATTHEW0498 SparkPoints: (31,848)
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11/22/13 9:23 A

I think 12 may be a little old to start begin the tradition. Like others have said, maybe wait and do it with your kids some day.

KKKAREN SparkPoints: (216,250)
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Posts: 11,681
11/22/13 8:51 A

my grandkids, 3 and 5, still believe in the elf but I don't think is going to fly much longer. My 5 years old is getting suspicious, I think 12 is a little old to start this tradition.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (101,558)
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11/22/13 7:29 A

I would suggest you buy the elf for yourself as a nice keepsake. Your brother won't be interested as if he is like any other 12 year old I know, he has figured out that if you say you don't believe in Santa then your present intake goes way way down.

It is clear you love your brother though and I give you props for trying to give him a good Christmas memory

-THENA- SparkPoints: (19,564)
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Posts: 360
11/21/13 10:21 P

1. What all comes in the Elf on the Shelf kit?

The kit comes with the Elf on the Shelf book and an elf.

2. Would it be possible to lift the "Don't touch the elf" rule? Or is the possibility of lost magic in the story?

It's part of the story in the book.

3. Would it still work if the elf didn't show up until a week or two before Christmas?

I don't see why not. The first year we didn't have ours until about two weeks before Christmas. Now we bring Charlie (it's what the kids named him) out on December 1st.

4. Your personal opinion: Do you think it would be possible to convince a twelve-year-old that a doll is actually a magic elf?

I really doubt it. He may choose to still believe in Santa, but I would think it would be next to impossible to convince him a doll is magic at this point in his life.

My son will be 8 in February and still chooses to believe in Santa, even though he knows children who no longer believe. He also still chooses to believe Charlie is magical. Is there part of him that thinks Charlie isn't real? Perhaps. I think he's had so much fun with the whole thing over the last few years that he just doesn't want to not believe yet. But I can't imagine him still being willing to believe when he's 12, even if he's still willing to play the game for the fun of it.

5. Your personal opinion: Do you think it would be okay to get a girl elf even though my brother is a boy? (I want to keep the doll after he stops believing, and the girl elf has such a cute face!)

If you want to get it for your brother, I think you should just get it for your brother. We're probably going to get the girl elf this year for my 6 year old daughter. Both of my children love Charlie, but this way they'll each get to keep one to pass on the tradition when they're grown.

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,328
11/21/13 9:57 P

4. Your personal opinion: Do you think it would be possible to convince a twelve-year-old that a doll is actually a magic elf?

Absolutely not.

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (33,558)
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11/21/13 9:14 P

While it's a nice idea, your brother seems a little old to try and start this as a tradition. Maybe save the idea for when you have little ones of your own.



LOUNMOUN Posts: 1,297
11/21/13 6:36 P

I don't do the elf on the shelf thing.
I think 12 years old is kind of old to try to start a tradition like that and expect belief.
My dd is 13 and would not have believed that a doll was a magic elf at the age of 12. She might have thought it was funny to find it or fun to pose it in different ways herself but she wouldn't have believed for one second that it was an actual magic elf reporting on her behavior to Santa.
If your brother is anti-girl he might prefer a boy doll. If he is neutral on the topic he might not care.

www.thethriftymama.com/what-is-an-elf-on-t
he-shelf.html


AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (63,142)
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11/21/13 6:00 P

I'm sorry, but no 12-year-old with a normal IQ believes in Santa. The age limit on that is 7 or 8, tops...if the child is VERY sheltered.

I'm not quite sure what you are trying to do here, but it sounds like you might need to find a child more in the toddler-kindergarten age range.

If you want to buy an elf doll for yourself, why don't you just do that?

Edited by: AZULVIOLETA6 at: 11/21/2013 (18:46)
RUBECCAL Posts: 751
11/21/13 5:47 P

Hi! I want to do Elf on the Shelf for my little brother, but we have a few slight problems. For one, he is twelve. He still believes in Santa, but I'm not sure he'd believe in a magic elf. The other problems are from me not having read the Elf on the Shelf book or knowing what else comes with it. So, if you have an Elf on the Shelf, please help me out. I don't want to pay almost $30 to find out it won't work!

1. What all comes in the Elf on the Shelf kit?

2. Would it be possible to lift the "Don't touch the elf" rule? Or is the possibility of lost magic in the story?

3. Would it still work if the elf didn't show up until a week or two before Christmas?

4. Your personal opinion: Do you think it would be possible to convince a twelve-year-old that a doll is actually a magic elf?

5. Your personal opinion: Do you think it would be okay to get a girl elf even though my brother is a boy? (I want to keep the doll after he stops believing, and the girl elf has such a cute face!)

Thanks for any help you might be able to provide for this. I know it is odd to ask this on Spark, but Spark is the biggest online community I belong to so I thought I'd give it a try.

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