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Eating out of spite... 5 lbs gain



 
 
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MOONBEAMCHICK
Posts: 24
12/30/12 9:07 P

I hear you...loud and clear! It is difficult to stay on track and especially during the holiday season with so many temptations. I, too, have gained 5 lbs. (in 2 weeks! nonetheless) and it probably took me 2 months to lose that 5 lbs.!

With the new year fast approaching, I am resolving to get back on track and I know you can do it, too! Each day is a brand new day and you just need to monitor what you are/are not doing. Don't be so hard on yourself - we all are human! Make a plan and slowly start changing your habits. Those little changes will add up over time and you will thank yourself for it. Try to explain to those around you why you are trying to better yourself and see if they will help you! Good luck!



CECISMOMMY09
SparkPoints: (8,221)
Fitness Minutes: (4,295)
Posts: 344
12/28/12 6:55 P

check in here before you throw in the towel!!! everyone is here to help!



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (135,698)
Fitness Minutes: (204,345)
Posts: 20,179
12/28/12 1:33 P

BRIGHTSIDEOFME,

As the other PP noted, unless you ate an extra 17,500 calories of food on top of your normal intake, you did not gain five pounds of fat. If the foods you ate were high in sodium, then you're probably retaining water. Which in turn is what is causing the scale to go up. Ever notice your weight goes up during TOM ? Most women tend to gain weight during their menstrual cycle. Is that a fat gain ? Nope, it's nothing more than a temporary water weight gain that passes in a few days. I can gain or lose as much as 3-4 pounds in a day because of a shift in my water weight. So, don't let the scale get you down.

Here's something you can tell your father from me,"there is more to good health than a number that stares at us from between our toes in the morning".

I've seen this behavior before in my own family. A parent favors one child over another. Keeps praising one child thinking that that will "inspire" the other. It's just plain mean spirited if you ask me. I had family members who did the same thing. Why be a size 8 when you can be a size 6 ? Why get a B when you can get an A ? You could have gotten the A if you really wanted. Guess you didn't want it bad enough.

Yeah, I got those kind of comments myself. So, I understand. What to do ? Eleanor Roosevelt said it best,"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Don't let your father's boorish comments get the better of you. You lost weight for YOU, not him. Don't try to make him happy. he'll never be happy. it seems like he enjoys making critical comments about women's weight. You can't change him. You can only change how you react to him. And eating to spite him isn't healthy. Don't ruin your body to get back at him. Maintain a healthy lifestyle because it's something you want to do for you. That's what your mom needs to do. She needs to lose weight for herself and no one else.

You can tell your father that his comments are insensitive and you refuse to listen to such nonsense. He seems like a narcissist to me.

You've made wonderful progress ! Losing 45 pounds is fantastic !






BRIGHTSIDEOFME
Posts: 73
12/28/12 12:44 P

Thank you!
I am 23 but still feel like that self conscious 15 year old around my dad. He used to call my mom big mama/fat ass/cow when she never was that overweight. I watched and still watch her yoyo diet like crazy. She is quite wonderful. Supportive and has always loved me no matter how chubby I got. My dad's love always seemed somewhat tied to how I look which is ridiculous but true. He left my mom for a younger, much much skinnier woman which may have messed with my head too.

Thank you for reminding me that I didn't gain 5 pounds of fat. Back on track as of today.

My dad is a lot better than he was. I think he means well most of the time and he deals with his own fat demons. He is definitely not a model of health and fitness...
You are right, I don't need his approval but I still really want it :/.
There's a lot more to weight than just food and I feel like I am only starting to realize this. I eat out of spite, anger, stress, frustration.
As for my sister, I really hope I am wrong but I will talk to my dad. Maybe I can bring up the comments he made at her age to me and explain how unhealthy those were for my self esteem and ultimately caused me to yoyo diet and gain more weight.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. It's so nice to have such great people on spark to support you =]. I feel like I am in therapy hehe. I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond.





SIMPLELIFE2
Posts: 698
12/28/12 11:35 A

First, rest easy. I'm sure you didn't really gain 5 pounds of fat. You would have to eat 17,500 calories *above* what you burn daily just functioning, which probably ranges from 1,400 to 1,800 given your weight. That would be a crazy amount to eat in a week and I highly doubt you did that. If you ate more carbs and salt than usual or even more volume, it will take several days for your system to settle back down. Just eat on target and drink lots of water and wait about a week to step back on the scale. I'm sure you'll be fine.

As far as your dad goes, he sounds like a real piece of work. I won't say much more because he is your dad. If you are concerned about your sister, your intuition is probably right given her exposure to that environment and your dad's messages. Please talk to your sister and get a school counselor or doctor involved if you believe it is warranted.

You don't mention how old you are and where your mother is in all of this. However, since you are older and out of the house. Walk away from this experience and just get back on track. "I did the right thing this year, losing weight the right healthy way, trying to not have crazy expectations of looking like a starving model" This is positive, healthy thinking. What your father is saying is not. You do not need his approval anymore. You are an adult, not a child, and can stand on your own. Will he love you more if you are skinnier? If that is true, it says much more about him than you. Is he a model of health and fitness?

Have you ever talked to him about this situation? Is he capable of sitting down and listening to your feelings and how the comments have screwed with your confidence and body image? I think this would be a good thing to do. Even if he doesn't understand or change, it may help you feel better and move on. Hang in there and keep on your own healthy path. You only need your own approval.



BRIGHTSIDEOFME
Posts: 73
12/28/12 10:58 A

I ate out of spite all week long and have gained 5 pounds.
I am so frustrated with myself and I am having a hard time getting back to eating healthy but there is definitely a part of me that is still motivated or I wouldn't be here posting.
5 pounds is nothing in the long run. A minor set back considering I am still over 45 pounds down from my absolute heaviest. I just don't want this weight to sneak back on.

It was so easy to gain those 5 pounds... So hard to lose them though...

I ate out of spite because I was with my father. He made comments like "you shouldn't eat that" or "that doesn't look like it's on weight watcher", "how about you just eat a salad with dressing on the side"... I guess he was trying to be supportive but those comments paired with his other comments about women's bodies really got to me. I had Vh1 on tv and Kesha was on and he said that she looked like a fat version of christina aguilera. Well, I thought she was really pretty and had a very nice body. Not fat, not too skinny. My dad also made a big deal about my step sister being a size 2 now. To me, she's too skinny now. And her eating is very suspicious. She's only 15 and I have a really bad feeling that she is making herself purge... We shared a bathroom this week and she would sneak off for a long while after eating very little and turn on the shower...

I have always looked for my father's approval but unfortunately, he is the reason my eating has been so screwed up all these years. I did the right thing this year, losing weight the right healthy way, trying to not have crazy expectations of looking like a starving model but he didn't comment on my weight loss. He just mentioned how everyone else had lost more weight than me and "she's a size 2 can you believe it".

I feel like eating to spite him. But I won't anymore... I am doing this for me. I need to remember that. I am so glad I don't live with him. I love him but he really screws with my head...

Just needed to get this out =] Thank you spark friends.



 
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