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Eating Disorder Reemerging



 
 
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BARBWOOD
Posts: 29
2/1/12 6:56 A

My eating disorder is rearing its ugly head. I'm not bulimic or anorexic. The disorder I've struggled with for as long as I can remember (even as a small child, and I'm 53 now) is pure compulsive overeating. I do great during the day when I'm at work. But once I get home, I seem to turn into an eating machine who has lost control of her own mind. I start out with a healthy dinner, but then look out!

The difference this time, though, is I'm still logging my food, which is somewhat of a miracle because I'm so ashamed of the quantity of food. (Also, sneakiness and secretiveness are a huge part of the disorder.) But logging my food and actually seeing it in print is very eye-opening; it's showing me how much damage I'm really doing to myself.

One quick aside: I am a vegan and can tell you that veganism does help a lot of the maladies mentioned. I know that the damage I do to myself would be a lot greater if I added meat & cheese to the mix. I haven't eaten meat in 35 years and went total vegan 3 1/2 years ago. My cholesterol dropped 60 points as a result. It's a better, healthier, lifestyle beyond a shadow of a doubt, but watch out - there is still plenty of vegan junk food out there! And being a vegan doesn't quiet that stupid little demon that says, "just one more bite."!

Edited by: BARBWOOD at: 2/1/2012 (07:05)


BRITOMART
Posts: 7,357
1/30/12 10:45 A

Hi, Amelia. I agree with Coach Nancy that, if you are worrying about the possible flare-up of an eating disorder, you need more than we can offer you here.

That said...Spark works best for those who attend to more than just one facet of their health (which it seems like you are doing...to a point). Spark is all about healthy lifestyle. When you make a change in one area (like going vegan) it's going to affect other areas (like hormones, water retention, etc.). Also, lifestyle changes take practice (if you are a fitness instructor, you know about "gradual," right? So, whatever changes you make, go gently, be patient.

You don't have much weight to lose (if your team selection is any indication) so it'll probably go more slowly for you at the outset--and thereafter--than for someone with more poundage to kick to the curb.

Concentrate on the process, without being judgmental about your self or your results. there are resources here for vegan eating--teams devoted to vegan eating.

Be gentle (and maybe find a self-kinder user name? these things do matter) Good success to you.



MELIASAURUS
SparkPoints: (600)
Fitness Minutes: (691)
Posts: 7
1/29/12 10:32 P

Wow I miscommunicated my exercise routine way back there. I am not working at the gym anymore and my exercise routine has since fallen to the wayside.

I switched to being vegan because I wanted to see if it would make me feel any better. Especially during the winter I lack energy, I'm feel sick all the time, and i have some acne. Supposedly vegan diets can improve these things.

I'm not pregnant, thank you for the concern though. It wasn't really an inappropriate question. It is likely that my hormones are acting funny though.

I do like the idea of the refrigerator magnets, thank you. That is something I am capable of and hopefully wouldn't guilt myself over.



FITKIZ
Posts: 748
1/29/12 5:13 P

I'm about to ask a very personal question: Is it possible that you could be pregnant? Emotional instability and increased breast size can be early indicators of pregnancy. I'm NOT saying that I think you are! I'm only asking because it's something that hasn't been covered in the other comments. Changes in diet and exercise can affect fertility so perhaps it might be prudent to cover your bases there.



DAWNDREGER
Posts: 303
1/29/12 1:35 P

I don't use the nutritional tracker much, just because, personality-wise, I just can't stick to that routine. What I've started instead is using magnets on my fridge. Each magnet is colour-coded (green for fruits and veggies, red for proteins, blue for water etc). There are enough to represent the proper number of servings of each per day. (So, for example, there are 8 blue magnets.) I just move them over to the other side of the fridge when I've eaten that serving. I love my carbs, so that way I can make sure I'm getting a healthy serving, and not over-eating. I can see at a glance what I need to eat to stay balanced. And this system was cheap: I got the magnets at the dollar store and just glued circles of coloured paper to them.

I hope you have or can find a doctor or other health professional who is an expert in eating disorders and treatment, and who is compassionate and a good communicator. Good luck in your journey!



REDSHOES2011
SparkPoints: (35,936)
Fitness Minutes: (66,181)
Posts: 7,159
1/29/12 9:09 A

MELIASAURUS
Chat with a dietitian. If you doing okay on the eating plan you had before why fix something that isn't broken- keep strictly to the daily recommendation within sparks peoples.. We are going for healthier not perfectionism..

Perhaps light therapy to get you feeling happy again.. Many people suffer winter depression (SAD) being stuck indoors.. I have about 10 people on my route of clients whom feel exactly the same way as you do- not being able to get outside for fear of falling.. Perhaps do some strength training instead of the yoga? What about doing some dvds or workouts on youtube.com? Cardio can be done other ways, than what your missing..

Edited by: REDSHOES2011 at: 1/29/2012 (09:16)


LENEWF
SparkPoints: (3,257)
Fitness Minutes: (2,294)
Posts: 124
1/28/12 7:39 P

Hi Amelia,

1. CONGRATS on recognizing that you may be slipping by yourself and early in the game. This shows that you have learned something from you time battling an eating disorder. Just like healthy living is a lifetime battle of ups and downs, eating disorders and other mental illnesses are the same. Healthy mental health habits need to be maintained to keep you feeling your best.

Is there a doctor or counselor you built report with the last time that you can visit? You might need a tune up to keep you on track. Make sure to discuss your current eating and exercise regime with those that are close to you and aware of your situation until you can see a professional.

Good luck




LENEWF
SparkPoints: (3,257)
Fitness Minutes: (2,294)
Posts: 124
1/28/12 7:38 P

Hi Amelia,

1. CONGRATS on recognizing that you may be slipping by yourself and early in the game. This shows that you have learned something from you time battling an eating disorder. Just like healthy living is a lifetime battle of ups and downs, eating disorders and other mental illnesses are the same. Healthy mental health habits need to be maintained to keep you feeling your best.

Is there a doctor or counselor you built report with the last time that you can visit? You might need a tune up to keep you on track. Make sure to discuss your current eating and exercise regime with those that are close to you and aware of your situation until you can see a professional.

Good luck




LENEWF
SparkPoints: (3,257)
Fitness Minutes: (2,294)
Posts: 124
1/28/12 7:18 P

Hi Amelia,

1. CONGRATS on recognizing that you may be slipping by yourself and early in the game. This shows that you have learned something from you time battling an eating disorder. Just like healthy living is a lifetime battle of ups and downs, eating disorders and other mental illnesses are the same. Healthy mental health habits need to be maintained to keep you feeling your best.

Is there a doctor or counselor you built report with the last time that you can visit? You might need a tune up to keep you on track. Make sure to discuss your current eating and exercise regime with those that are close to you and aware of your situation until you can see a professional.

Good luck




SP_COACH_NANCY
SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
1/26/12 11:14 P

Amelia,

While SparkPeople is a wonderful community for support and encouragement, when it comes the complexity of dealing with disordered eating, this is really outside the scope of advice that our members and experts can advise you on, so you may want to contact your doctor about this. I have included a link below to a very detailed article that SparkPeople's Coach Dean wrote regarding this issue. In the article you can find a list of resources of where to seek help if you do not have someone you are working with.

I wish you well!
Coach Nancy

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_art
icles.asp?id=812


Edited by: SP_COACH_NANCY at: 1/26/2012 (23:16)


MICHCLEARY
SparkPoints: (60,375)
Fitness Minutes: (55,822)
Posts: 5,775
1/26/12 10:44 P

Have you tried talking to your doctor? Switching to a vegan diet shouldn't make your breasts swell up. If tracking and seeing the calories is too much for you, then just use the journal option and write about what you ate so you can keep track.

Exercising 6 hours a week, plus all the other things and now plus yoga? Do you wear any kind of bodybugg or heart rate monitor? I'm sure you are burning a ton of calories and if you aren't eating enough your body will hold on to what you have and your metabolism will slow down.

In the end though you said enough in your post that I would recommend you see a doctor and ask for a referral to see a registered dietician.



BODYBUILDER45
SparkPoints: (5,856)
Fitness Minutes: (13,885)
Posts: 30
1/26/12 8:31 P

Dont feel bad; you are not alone; I struggled with eating disorders from age 13 - 44; and have bee symptom free ever since I hired a personal trainer so I could have some one be accountable to.. If i starved; I would not be able to do the exercises and my trainer would know something was up. I also get obsessive when tracking foods but I have retrained my brain to use tracking as a way to keep track of total nutrients I am eating and not really focusing on the calories. Tracking can help you get all your daily requirements in and if you accomplish that; than your calories should be in the right range also; but bottom line; if you feel tracking is causing problems right now; stop; come back to it later when you are stronger; but definately get exercising; cardio and weights; eat small meals every 3-4 hours and talk to someone dont try to go this alone.

best of luck



MELIASAURUS
SparkPoints: (600)
Fitness Minutes: (691)
Posts: 7
1/26/12 8:24 P

I am not sure how to track my diet with out reigniting my eating compulsions.

All last year I worked as an exercise instructor. I worked out atleast 6 hours a week plus riding my bike, dancing, walking every where etc. I was extremely trim and was on a high protein diet - with lots of eggs and tuna. With the weather change and schedule change I have been getting lazy so to get out of my winter slump I switched to a vegan diet 2 weeks ago and added cardio to my routine (yoga ~ 3 times a week).
I'm not sure why but my breasts ballooned this week and I don't fit into any of my bras today so I wanted to try tracking my diet. After only one day I can already feel my emotions spiraling, I don't feel like I'm good enough. I can't figure out how to eat enough protein on a vegan diet although everyone says you can - the more protein i eat the more fat I eat.

I'm quickly becoming depressed and want to get off this site because then I won't have to worry about food. but I feel so disgusting now because my bras don't fit and I want to make it go away. :( :( :(


Edited by: MELIASAURUS at: 1/26/2012 (20:38)


 
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