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LILLIPUTIANNA Posts: 1,038
3/9/13 9:44 P

I have never met anyone who had their life "together" at 23. I get why you feel so powerless, but you shouldn't beat yourself up too much.

I had issues with postpartum depression. It took nearly three years to clear up. Don't underestimate it. See a doctor. If I could do it over again, I would seriously consider getting a prescription for a bit...or at the very least just get a therapist to talk to.

Don't worry. Everything you are experiencing now, will pass. You will find yourself again. My advice is to focus on that. Do the things you used to enjoy doing. You are strong. You can get through this!


ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (143,035)
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Posts: 20,982
3/8/13 9:21 A

DREAMABBEY,

You're still a strong young woman with your whole life ahead of you. I know things seem really overwhelming right now, but things will get better. Living with your parents isn't a bad thing. I'm sure they must love you and their grand daughter to pieces. You'd be surprized how many adult children have had to move back with their parents because life became difficult.

The universe isn't out to get you even though it might seem like it right now. Many people are having similar problems right now. You can't let that get you down !! I was laid off from my job last year. I am still looking for a full time time. Do I get depressed ? Yes, there are days when I get depressed. BUT... I'm staying positive and you need to stay positive too.

Look at all the things that ARE working for you. You're living with your parents. that means you can save money for your own place later. Living with your parents gives you a chance to look for a better job or go to school to take classes.

You can regain your health. You can lose weight, but you have to take things slowly. Life is going to throw roadblocks in your path. Taking a detour now and then isn't such a dreadful thing. You may not arrive at your destination as quickly as you think, but you will still get there.

What to do ? Take things slowly. don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Start with some simple changes first. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieves those goals, then you set new ones.

And that's how good health starts. It doesn't start with an "all or nothing" mentality, it starts with a few simple changes. One small change CAN change your life !! You have to believe that because it really is true.

Don't worry ! Everything really will be okay.

emoticon

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (158,833)
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Posts: 46,222
3/8/13 7:53 A

Hi DreamAbbey,

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles.

I hope you will take some time to find someone who can help you out. There are lots of services available and if you need help finding them, let me know and I can reference them for you. While there are many options we can offer, such as getting in some activity daily, it is really outside the scope of advice that our members or experts can offer specific advice on. Depression is multifaceted and requires professional intervention, but with treatment you may life easier to cope with.

Take care!

Coach Nancy

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (138,100)
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Posts: 21,851
3/8/13 4:21 A

Hi - I am sorry to hear that your relationship and the dreams associated with it have crumbled around you. I know it is a bit of a cliche, but things WILL get better.

Altho' you said that you don't need medication or therapy, it sounds to me like you really could do with talking to someone qualified to talk to. You have a lot going on and sometimes it helps immensely to have that impartial person who is qualified to help you through it. You mention having have struggled depression your whole life. I don't know your reasons for saying that you don't need meds or therapy, but I can assure you that there really is no need to struggle. Because your history with it, I would strongly suggest that you make an appointment with your Dr and ask for a referral to a Therapist. Also, it would be beneficial to ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist to be accurately diagnosed (particularly because you had this as a young child, too!) Then you have a much better chance of the 'normality' that you seek. I understand that cost will be a huge factor, but there ARE ways and means of accessing the help for free or very cheap. You can message me if you decide to go down this route (and I hope that you do) and I will provide a few links that can help you to access this help at reduced or no cost. As someone who has suffered considerably with depression, too, I can assure you that this CAN be dealt with. You CAN overcome it, but most times we need that help to do so. I had considerable input from Psychologists and am on anti-depressants. My husband recently died, and altho' I was generally coping well, my Dr saw in me that my meds needed tweaking up. I am now started to feel the benefits of that tweaking.

There are some things that you can do to help improve your situation, tho', and you are on SP and that can be a wonderful tool - socially, emotionally, and for keeping an eye on your nutrition. If you aren't already, I strongly suggest that you weigh all of your food and use the Nutrition Tracker. That will help you to identify areas where you can tweak your diet to ensure that you are able to reverse your weight. Even with thyroid issues, it can be done, but you just need to work harder. By eating a balanced diet with lots of fruit/veges, particularly dark leafy greens, and quality protein - not from processed meats, getting in some healthy carbs from sources such as whole-grains, and having healthy fats, you will provide the nutrients. If you eat much in the way of processed carbs, limiting them will help heaps, too.

The other thing that can help you with your mood is to go for regular walks when possible. If the weather isn't too bad you could bundle up your little one and go for an exploratory walk. If the weather is grotty, then perhaps going for a walk around a covered mall, or put all your laundry away one at a time. That is in fact how I get the bulk of my exercise - the laundry and putting all my groceries away the same way, too!

Perhaps as far as getting through the little things each day, creating a realistic list of what you would like to achieve, and cross them off as they are done. I know from experience that once you see one or two crossed off, it gives the incentive to do some more. Don't go getting too carried away, tho', and put too much on, because it will have the opposite effect.

I wish you well in achieving your goals, and hope that you make an appointment with your Dr.

Take care,
Kris


DREAMABBEY Posts: 48
3/8/13 1:04 A

I am just majorly stressed out right now and am having a hard time coping. A lot has happened in the past two years. When I turned 20 I thought I had the world. I was going to have a baby, thought I was going to move out with the father and quit my crappy job and continue going to UIC. I had it all! A new adult life was right in front of me! And on top of all that I had a lot of self confidence because I lost about 40 lbs post baby (and that was awesome because I had only gained 25 while pregnant!). And now here I am today at 23. I am living in my parents house (beyond grateful) raising my daughter alone, no car, credit cards bills, post partum hypothyroidism and 45 lbs heavier. And completely depressed and anxious almost all the time. I feel like I have completely lost touch with myself. Like I am a different person. After I had the baby I was on such a high. I felt awesome, I looked awesome. I felt like I could do anything. Now I am jealous of that person. As if it wasn't me. I beat myself up everyday for gaining so much weight (which is partly because of the thyroid). It is the most I have ever weighed and I feel like I am a bad person almost. I want to stop hating my body so that I can change it but I really think about it all the time. I really want to reconnect with who I was. So many changes happened so fast that I just don't know what to do. (And I don't need medication or therapy or anything like that, I have struggled with depression my whole life). I am looking for little things I can do every day to make myself feel better because I don't think I can handle any more change. And as time has passed, I kind of feel like I lost all the empathy. The father walked out 2 years ago and I have had these other problems for over a year so I feel like everyone has gotten used to the situation but every day it stresses me out more. And I do have plans for the future (schedules for paying bills and vacation time and getting a car and a house...) but I really need suggestions for how to do little things every day to make myself feel better. I feel like rushing through every day so that I can be at my goals (which never happens because if I rush the day I get no closer to goals). Sorry for the length of this, but every time I want to post I end up erasing it and I am trying to put myself out there because no one can hear a call for help you don't make.

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