When it comes to people going through the same things - look for Spark Teams for that thing. If you're suffering depression, there's teams for that, if you have a problem child, there's teams for that, if you have any kind of medical issue, there'll be teams for that. So that is often the best way to find a group of people who are experiencing what you are and can offer very specialised and personal experience type of advice. The public message boards are not as good for that.
As Heather said - Spark is a very supportive place and the moderators don't allow any "chewing out". You can use the "report inappropriate post" button on every thread to complain if you feel a bit abused by someone, and they'll get a rap on the knuckes.
Spark is a public site. Anyone can join. Throughout all countries in the world there are idiots, morons, abusers, and people who revel in making others feel tiny. There's no guarantee you won't get that here, too. It's just that they do tend to jump on it if reported.
And do remember - there are a lot of 'tough love' type responses. Often the answer you got seems like it is "chewing you out" when it's just not what you wanted to hear. Eg if you post "I want to try eating 300 calories per day and working out 3 hours a day" you'll get a string of posts that could be considered "chewing out" because that's not a very healthy choice ... if you had believed that to have been a good plan you might be surprised and a little affronted at those responses. They're just trying to put you on the right path and help you be more healthy - they're not "attacking" you.
Deb, in New Zealand
Fitness Minutes: (2,040)
12 6/3/12 11:15 A
Wow, someone said something mean when you asked a question? That's just immature and childish!
Fitness Minutes: (179,810)
4,147 5/27/12 12:24 A
I just saw your post from a few weeks ago - and I know how you feel. When I was new, I asked the same question twice - because the answer the first time didn't really answer what I asked - and a HORRIBLY rude person responded negatively. I almost stopped asking for help - then I realized SHE was the one with the problem - and I got a lot of support, have made a lot of friends, and consider SparkPeople my lifeline now. Please feel free to reach out to me anytime. (To this day, I NEVER go back to the message board she frequents! And I did report her post!!! - I was horrified that she is a Spark People Community Team member - supposed to be a leader. Kindness and support are so important here) May God bless your success on this journey we all share. I added you as a friend; hope you'll add me, too.
�Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you� (Matthew 7:7, NLT)
Fitness Minutes: (14,252)
9,692 5/16/12 7:29 P
Chewed out? By whom? That's not allowed here. Are you sure that you got "chewed out?" Who said what?
If you feel like you were abused or someone was mean, please hit "report inappropriate post" at the bottom of the thread so that the mods can take a look. Sparkpeople is a supportive place, and no one should make it anything else.
Now, occasionally people will give you some tough love, and there are a fwe folks around here who can be a bit caustic, but no one should ever chew you out!
Heather Writer, mother, wife, and breadwinner. I love to run, but running doesn't love me, so I'm switching to my low-impact bike.
Fitness Minutes: (102,003)
5/15/12 9:24 A
I am sorry you had a bad experience Crystal. Please feel free to contact me, like NIGHTSKYSTAR , if I don't know the answers, I will send you in the right direction to get the answers you need, That is what we are here for, to help one another.
Fitness Minutes: (249,813)
39,077 5/15/12 7:29 A
what kind of questions, Crystal_mom? Please feel free to message me i will help all i can and if i dont know the answer i will find out for you!! I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but many of us are happy to help you!!
Holly Northern NY EDT
5/14/12 11:25 P
I tried getting help on the message boards but instead I got chewed out. What is the best way to get questions answered? I find that it is most helpful to have answers from people who are going through the same things.
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