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BONNIEB1947 SparkPoints: (53,446)
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Posts: 240
8/7/14 5:56 A

I think everyone has to come to that time when they are ready to make the choice. THEN they may really 'hear' you. Otherwise they are just thinking wistfully that maybe you know a secret you can give them that will make it quick and easy.

XOEMYBABY1232 SparkPoints: (1,943)
Fitness Minutes: (620)
Posts: 81
8/7/14 12:07 A

Of course people do (:
but typically a response like
"woshh I could never do that
but you go girl " Follows lol

ATHENA1966 Posts: 3,954
8/6/14 1:34 P

I think they want to know how, they just don't like the answer.

BLAZINGSWORD SparkPoints: (28,277)
Fitness Minutes: (17,745)
Posts: 2,620
8/6/14 1:32 P

Most runners that I know, look great and eat crap. And in the end, they will pay for it. Jim Fixx was a great runner and wrote the book on running, but he died from a massive heart attack. Why because he ate food that is very bad for health.

So just because one exercises doesn't guarantee that you will be able to eat anything and be healthy.

The two must go hand-in-hand: eating healthy and exercising.

CARRIE1948 Posts: 10,493
8/6/14 9:30 A

No, I don't think most people want to know the fortitude and attention it takes to lose weight. Everyone wants what those ads in the magazines promise - take this and you don't need to exercise or change your diet and the pounds will fall off.

PATTIEMCD Posts: 1,107
8/5/14 12:12 P

"Most" ppl do not want to hear what it actually took for me to lose over 50lbs. because they aren't ready to make those changes for themselves. One time, I was asked by a very overweight woman what I did to lose my weight and I said, " I quit eating like you do now".
I knew that her job keeps her pretty active daily, and if she would decrease her portions, the pounds would melt off of her. That's why I gave her that answer.

FITTEREVERYDAY SparkPoints: (28,968)
Fitness Minutes: (18,503)
Posts: 2,049
8/5/14 11:45 A

I don't think I excite people either. Eating generally healthy (mostly non-processed, a lot of fruits and veggies, whole grains, etc),watching portions and staying active isn't exciting. I don't follow any specific regime and I even eat dessert quite often (remember I watch my portions!)

MARTHA324 Posts: 5,843
8/4/14 9:26 P

Disappointed that I haven't found the magic pill... I tell them I choose healthy foods more often than not, track my food, watch my portions and exercise. I also tell them I don't diet and yes, their eyes glaze over pretty quickly

8/4/14 4:40 P

I have found that most are looking for a "magic pill" to lose the weight overnight.

Pardon the pun but, their loss.

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
8/4/14 4:11 P

Maybe it's the proselytizing thing but maybe it's just a fear of change. There is a value in being fat & you have to be ready to give that up, no small thing!
I do think that if someone asks how you did it, they are expecting some kind of answer. And that is is perfectly ok to say how glad you are that you found a way to dump the extra weight. That doesn't seem like bragging to me, and I'm a kiwi, we are very self effacing.

Edited by: FIFIFRIZZLE at: 8/4/2014 (16:14)
CRAMPERELLA Posts: 1,545
8/4/14 1:15 P

People generally don't like proselytizers. There is something irritating about someone who has overcome a life challenge and is now telling others they can do it too if they just become like them. Weight and health is a very personal journey with many paths to wellness. Bragging about how you did it even if it is done with genuine good intentions can reek of moral superiority and come across as judgemental to the listener. It can come across as "I'm a winner, you're a loser."

Edited by: CRAMPERELLA at: 8/4/2014 (13:17)
MISSRUTH Posts: 4,271
8/4/14 6:29 A

No I don't think most people really want to know. Personally, I think most of them fall into the "magic wand" category. I was sizing up a woman for a lifejacket last week, and she looks at me earnestly and says "I wish I was thin like you". And I felt compelled to reply "I'm not naturally thin. I watch what I eat, and I get some exercise." And her face just fell. She wasn't interested any more. She wanted someone to wave the magic wand and make her naturally thin. (Who knows, though. Someday when she's really ready, she may remember my comment.) I dropped the topic and started talking about the weather.

SHOOPETTE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (54,048)
Posts: 3,151
8/4/14 5:00 A

Same here, when people realize it takes commitment and what they've been hearing all the time they are a bit disapointed.

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
8/3/14 10:23 P

Maybe you,re right about that, but I had to build and maintain my motivation, still do. For me what it took was believing it was possible, which I had pretty much given up on, having been unable to lose weight in the usual way.

CELLA_P SparkPoints: (10,336)
Fitness Minutes: (7,885)
Posts: 365
8/3/14 10:15 P

Well, I guess there are plenty of "hows" out there... and the trick seems to be matching up the most appropriate "how" with the right person, and then, hoping they'll be at a point where their motivation is strong, too.

HOLLYPOTTER SparkPoints: (15,834)
Fitness Minutes: (10,136)
Posts: 226
8/3/14 9:48 P

When I share the changes that I've made, I always get "Oh, I couldn't do that." Well, you've got to do something.

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
8/3/14 5:00 P

I tell them, it was easy! I threw away everything I 'knew' and found something that worked for ME, and stuck with it. I dropped the weight really quickly once I got down to business, I couldn't believe how easy it was to rest my weight set point. It was like magic. And I feel so much better now.

All this is true. If anyone asks more I tell them about Sparkpeople, I talk more about what I did, and guess what ? Even though I have said, easy, quick, magic, here is a toolkit, they still react like I told them, logging food, eating less, exercising more.

The lightbulb has to WANT to change!

LJBRANDOK Posts: 183
8/3/14 2:54 P

I, too, think that people ask because they want the magic cure. Very few people are interested in hearing about healthy lifestyle choices, hard work, and willpower. I noticed that I was such a huge fan of SparkPeople and was touting it to anyone who asked, that I had to scale it back a bit and not be too fanatical about it. Very few of my friends/colleagues/relatives have found the ability to take weight off and keep it off, but as someone previously mentioned here, if we influence one person, that's a great start.

BLAZINGSWORD SparkPoints: (28,277)
Fitness Minutes: (17,745)
Posts: 2,620
8/3/14 2:16 P

I've had a couple people say, "You are looking good. Have you lost weight?" Then I tell them, "Yes, I have thank you."

Then if they ask any more questions, "I tell them that I want a good quality of life to live and that my motivation is much greater than just to lose weight. It's because my best friend, Carol, suffered with diabetes for many years and died from complications of it. That alone is enough to keep me on the narrow & straight with eating less but high quality food such as veggies & fruits along with lean meats and drinking water as my only beverage; and then walking at least almost 10,000 steps a day which is roughly 4.8 miles or so."

Then if they are truly interested and want to know more, I tell them about spark people and tell them to check it out.

GLOBEE77 Posts: 38
8/3/14 9:39 A

Of course we would all like to have a magic pill! But it takes work....a LOT of work! Work to limit calories, eat for health and put in the time for exercise. Work to keep at it week after week to reach and/or maintain weight goals. Work to have the "can do" attitude over a long period of time. I don't believe most people don't want to hear this reality....I sure didn't.

HOLLYM48 Posts: 18,430
8/3/14 9:00 A

They do want to know but don't always want to invest the time or give up the portion size that is way to much. Some people travel and they think that is too hard but I think with the right mind set, you can go for salads and veggies and eat within calorie range even when traveling.
I agree that people are looking for the easy way and the magic pill and the quick fix diets work for a while but they are not sustainable!

LORNADUANE SparkPoints: (22)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 6
8/2/14 11:07 P

Depends on the audience. I've learned you can eliminate most of the glazed faces by using the phrase "small changes over time." If people look crestfallen after that I let the topic drop, if they're curious still I might list small tibits at a time.

NAYPOOIE Posts: 11,599
8/2/14 10:08 P

Nope, they're looking for a magic pill (you must have one, you lost weight!).

JODICODY Posts: 41
8/2/14 6:45 P

I think people DO want a quick fix.Dand... I DO! But we all know there isn't one.We have to do this the "right" way. One of my issues is,because of my living circumstances,I get so.. depressed,I guess,that I just DON'T eat when unhealthy stuff is what's on the menu. Sometimes for days. I know I can't do this,because of my heart,but I think,What's worse? Eating "garbage" or not eating? emoticon

JODICODY Posts: 41
8/2/14 6:36 P

Well, I think they do.I know I sure do! emoticon

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,809)
Fitness Minutes: (48,231)
Posts: 2,449
8/2/14 2:02 P

I always mentioned SparkPeople ("Smart People??" "No, SPARKpeople.").

When I said that I wasn't dieting but was instead just eating healthier, if I saw they were crestfallen, I knew that they were probably just looking for the quick fix. And I never looked down on that because I was in their shoes, too. I totally understand where they're coming from.

I would then tell them that for me, I was *done* dieting and I eat what I want but tend to pick healthy stuff 80% of the time, and what really kicked it up for me was eating 7-9 servings of fruits & vegetables a day.

So many people would then say, "Is that all you eat - vegetables?" or "Are you a vegetarian?"
"Noooo! I eat steak, diary, whatever I want! I just log it and try to keep it healthy."

I try to find that balance of being helpful for those who truly want help but not dwelling on it, either.

JMCCAIN4 Posts: 10
8/2/14 1:41 P

I want to give the people who ask a fair shake, though. Having been in that position all too recently, eat less and move more is NOT all there is to it. There is all the psychological stuff, like breaking habits, stopping emotional eating, gaining control over yourself, and in my personal opinion there is also some hormone balancing and detoxing that has to take place to get rid of the constant hunger for some people. So when I asked people how to lose weight and they said "eat less and move more" that was disappointing to me, because I knew that, yes, but HOW do you get yourself to do that? That's why the information in the mind over body section of this site is so important. I just had a conversation like this and actually mentioned the psychological and hormone parts. The other person seemed more satisfied with this answer. If you're not really giving them new information, of course they're going to be disappointed. Many people have deeper problems with food than just not knowing that they need to burn more calories than they eat.

-RUBIES- Posts: 6,099
8/1/14 7:38 P

I'm chuckling over here because people act the same way when I tell them. They are not expecting that type of answer. I basicially give the same answer you give. They want to hear the "magic pill" answer. Sometimes, I also feel like they nod their head as though they get what I am saying, but, actually, they are clueless.

JERALDTX SparkPoints: (28,432)
Fitness Minutes: (42,039)
Posts: 26
8/1/14 11:09 A

It seems everyone wants a "magic" cure... Why else would they advertise diet pills that offer "guaranteed dramatic weight loss" then you read the fine print the weight loss is only guaranteed if you follow their diet and exercise plan (which will cause you to lose weight without the miracle pill). Everyone wants it to be easy... And what you all have done sounds hard to them so they are disappointed. They just don't realize, that once you've broken the bad habits, and made those lifestyle changes that eating right and exercising actually IS easy.

JAMIRBLAZE Posts: 1,789
7/31/14 4:06 P

Russell hit it dead on. Most people that I know, since I have lost in stages over 10-11 years don't know me from my highest weight. I did lose 40+lbs in the last couple of years to hit maintenance, so I do get asked from time to time and give a quick answer - basically "eat less, move more."

Most people don't really want to know the details, but feel better in expressing some interest in getting healthier.

KASTRA Posts: 369
7/31/14 3:54 P

When I initially showed weight loss, I was all excited and tried to share my "magic cure" (which is summed up with "don't eat so much junk and exercise more") and got those glazed looks.

After a while, I changed to what Bunnykicks and others do: Keep it short and sweet. "I stopped eating quite so much junk and exercise more," and only expand on the answer if they're truly curious. Oddly, a lot of people did want me to give more information, but then the glazed looks came back once I do.

Lately, though, I've started doing what LifeNProgress does. I just say, "I use Sparkpeople." When someone asks me to divulge more, I'm not interested in the glazed looks or the "oh, gosh, that's way too hard" comments so I say something about how it's complicated but the website will explain it all. Then I give the web address. I've passed it out to three people this week alone. I know a few that have at least checked it out.

As for whether or not people truly want to know how to lose the weight, I do not think they do - at least, not until they're truly ready. We were all there once, in that blissfully ignorant place as our waistlines grew, refusing to acknowledge that the habits we enjoyed were the cause of our problems. Only when we were ready to get serious did we forget about the easy fixes and focus on our health. Like you've seen, as soon as I mentioned that there is no medical prescription that makes it all easier, or secret piece of fitness equipment that forces me to exercise daily while making it so much more fun and relaxing than sitting on my backside, people tune out. That's why I like to just give the web address, now. They can think it's a magic fix until they look into it, and might walk away for a while once they learn it's not. But, it's there in their minds so that, when they're someday ready and realize the magic pill doesn't exist, they have a good resource to use.

Edited by: KASTRA at: 7/31/2014 (15:57)
MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,460
7/31/14 3:25 P

I get that glazed over look, too. I keep my response short and sweet, but it seems like by the time I get out. Tracking my calories. Interest is lost. I didn't really cut any type of food out, but I didn't eat with reckless abandon either.

I wonder if people want to hear that I took a magic pill and lost all my weight and most of my body fat in a week

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 7/31/2014 (15:26)
SIMONEKP Posts: 2,760
7/31/14 1:55 P

They do, you tailor your response to your audience

LIFENPROGRESS SparkPoints: (115,161)
Fitness Minutes: (18,343)
Posts: 4,287
7/31/14 12:11 P

My standard reply is:

"I joined Spark People" emoticon

I tell them about the site and let them make their own choices. What works for me may not work for them.

RUSSELL_40 Posts: 16,826
7/31/14 11:58 A

First of all, we have to assume that people don't know how. That isn't true. We all know how to lose weight.. Diet & Exercise. Right?

When people ask me, I just say, Eat Right, and Work Out. If they are still listening, then they actually want more detailed instruction. 99 % of people though are just using it as conversation. Man, I wish I could lose weight, do what you did. They aren't ready to though, they just wish they were, and if they talk about it, they feel a little better.

Give them one sentence, and move on. They will feel like they discussed being healthier, and feel better about themselves as they go out to lunch at McDonald's. One day, they will be ready, and they will ask more detailed questions, like.. How do you stop yourself from eating extra calories late at night?

Always remember, that used to be you. I remember watching Biggest Loser thinking. Wow! They lost 150 lbs.!! I wish I could do that.... as I ate 10 bean burritos, a large bag of Doritos, Ben & Jerry's ice cream ( pint ), and washed it down with 2-3 liters of Pepsi. I felt good at the end though, after watching others lose weight, and thinking about it, even as I waddled to bed, with a sore stomach, struggling to

So give them a SHORT, polite answer, and let them move along. When they are ready, they will do it at their own pace. Only then will they listen to advice, so why waste your breath? If it is 2 years from now, the answer will still be the same. Eat better, work out more.

REGINAROLLINS SparkPoints: (66,618)
Fitness Minutes: (30)
Posts: 1,631
7/31/14 9:59 A

Pretty much the same response-I really don't think anybody care's-it's all about them. Well I do care, as too many Spark People!!!!

7/31/14 9:50 A

I had lost 14 pounds with SP. Unfortunately, I gained it all back.

Right now I am sitting where most of the people ask 'how did you do it'.
Even though, I lost 14 lbs I cannot help myself asking people who have lost big for tips etc.

Anyhow, I agree. Many people just wish that there is no blood, sweat or tears.They don't want to buy that it is simple yet hard to do.

LIGNSS SparkPoints: (9,825)
Fitness Minutes: (6,700)
Posts: 109
7/30/14 9:33 P

Most people glaze over, so I'm similar to bunnykicks. I give them a short 1-2 sentences. If they are actually interested, then I tell them about sparkpeople.

TIFFFIT Posts: 1,765
7/30/14 6:42 P

I'm the nurse manager of a cath lab/OR, so there are actually a lot of people here at the hospital who really DO want to know how and really DON'T want to hear "surgery" or "meds". Like others, I try to gauge real interest before I explain too much but for those who want to know I always offer to partner with them if they want to be motivated. :-)
I have a conversation starter on my office door too--a paperclip chain with one clip for each pound I've lost. As of today it's 37 clips long and people always seem, well, if not amazed, at least really surprised. THAT'S usually when the "How are you doing it?!?!?!" dialogue begins.

TL/DR: Some people really want to know, but you shouldn't say too much unless you're sure.

TRIXYMAHOGANY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (9,522)
Posts: 333
7/30/14 5:59 P

Someone asked me in detail today... they started with a "how do you do it?" and I just glossed over it - "Oh, just watching what I eat and hiking a lot" and then they said "But aren't you on some special diet?"

I said, "NO! I love food too much to cut anything delicious completely out of my life, I eat what I want, when I want, just not so much."

They looked sad when I said that. :)

EELPIE Posts: 2,700
7/30/14 4:57 P

I have found that people only really want to hear what does not exist:

X pill or Y diet (the magic fix).

I'm like bunnykicks - I keep it really simple "I just watched how many calories a day I ate, and cut out processed foods". Most people just say "Oh, ok" and move the topic along.

If someone really wants to know...then I go into detail. Most don't. They want the magic fix.

MISSSVJS SparkPoints: (41,045)
Fitness Minutes: (52,655)
Posts: 1,416
7/30/14 4:33 P

Most people want a quick fix or a pill and once they find out what really works, it seems like they just aren't interested in doing what it takes. I've worked at my current job for a little over 3 years - no one here has ever known me when I was 50+ pounds heavier, so most are very surprised when I tell them that. But it's also one of my motivations for keeping it off!

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
7/30/14 3:21 P

I just take the question "how did you do it" in the same way I take the question "how're ya doing!"

In other words, it's just one of those things people say but they don't really expect a long drawn out answer.

I keep it very brief. "I cut out the fast food, I really started paying attention to portion sizes.... nothing fancy, just the old eat-less-move-more thing, ya know."

Now, if they persist with a follow up question, like "how! do you control your portion sizes!" I would give them my big special secret trick: I LOG MY FOOD. I write down what I eat. This is how i keep myself "honest" with myself and control my calorie intake.

For the really special people, I will even tell them I do all this logging online, letting them know there are sites such as Sparkpeople that make it very easy to do.

Nobody glazes over because I make them drag my "secrets" out of me. One snippet of information per question. So as soon as they stop asking probing questions, I drop the topic and move on. Because I know that at any given moment in time, most people really are NOT interested in hearing the details. The few that are, will persist with more specific questions. There's been a precious few people in the past 18 months that I've had more than a 5 minute conversation with, about all-things-weight-loss.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,371
7/30/14 2:21 P

I think when people see someone after they have lost a substantial amount of weight they normally ask ..HOW.
Some are hoping you will give them some magic formula that will make it easy.
Some sound like they are doing a poll and
Some are curious if you used gastric bypass or lipo.
When you mention diet and exercise, they glaze over.
I really want to know the secret of the people who were obese, made goal, and KEPT it off. That's the real prize.

FIELDWORKING SparkPoints: (29,946)
Fitness Minutes: (64,745)
Posts: 748
7/30/14 11:45 A

I haven't had anyone ask me questions about how I lost weight. I think people notice, but most of the people that I interact with are either more fit (and eat healthier) than me or they are on the other end (could stand to lose a few pounds but don't ask questions). I know that for me, I started out making small changes to the way that I ate and started working out. I am now at a point to where I have to restrict my calories even more or workout even harder for longer to lose the rest of the weight (or get into a job that is physically demanding).

ICEDEMETER Posts: 1,332
7/30/14 10:37 A

I've had a lot of friends ask me, and they don't seem to "glaze over" until I mention that I made changes that I'll have to keep up for the rest of my life.

The idea that it's not just a quick-fix and done just doesn't seem to hold much appeal...

TRIPLEMWF Posts: 906
7/30/14 10:21 A

Sometimes I do. I'm in a private facebook group with a bunch of other Moms, and a few of them have been very interested in my progress, now, whether or not they are willing to take the plunge into a wheat free / moderate low carb diet is a completely different story :)

RENATARUNS SparkPoints: (4,367)
Fitness Minutes: (2,155)
Posts: 1,379
7/30/14 10:10 A

I tend to get the same sort of reaction. People seem to expect some sort of fancy diet; or if not that, they think I lost weight with exercise only, since I've been athletic for much of my life. (And since that is so common a misconception, that losing with exercising alone is practical.)

I say something along the lines of "I ate a lot less than I was used to for a while, I all but stopped eating junk food, and I've kept doing pretty much the same thing since, with a few more calories. Oh, and I walked a bunch." And that's pretty much the end of the conversation.

7/30/14 9:52 A

I was lucky enough to catch my weight gain early on so I never had a lot to lose. People do ask me how I stay in such good shape though.

The answer isn't flashy or easy.

Eat tons of vegetables, some fruit, meats, healthy fats everyday and enjoy the occasional treat. Prepare your own foods so you know whats in it, while avoiding takeout and processed foods. Lift heavy things and move a lot.

Yes some people do glaze over but most are really interested in my response.

Even if your response only impacts 1 person out of 100, it's worth it IMO.

PSCHIAVONE2 SparkPoints: (20,650)
Fitness Minutes: (13,280)
Posts: 785
7/30/14 9:25 A

I have people ask me how to loose weight. Especially the people who knew me at 242 pounds. They usually ask very enthusiastically. It is funny, but when I start to go into what I am doing I notice their faces just glaze over and some walk away disappointed. I do not use a special diet just the food journal and limiting my overall calories for the week. How do people react when they ask about your success?

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