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10/20/13 12:39 P

Gracie that is exactly my problem. My fiance is 6'6 and just over 200 lbs. I'm 5'10 and about 170. He has to work hard to keep at his current weight, and I have found myself eating when he does, and what he does. My metabolism simply cannot handle all of the carbs and midnight snacks his can, and I'm right with you. I've gained about 20 pounds over the past 5 months. It's so hard to sit and watch him eat and not have a few bites, or to skip the carbs I make for him at dinner!

RAELEAN88 SparkPoints: (32,069)
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10/10/13 11:51 A

I know what you all are talking about. I feel the same way. I am 5'7 and 158lbs, my fiancée is 6' even and 145lbs of all muscle. I sometimes feel like the fat partner even thought he thinks I am gorgeous, I feel the need to be in as good if not better shape then he is.

10/10/13 9:49 A

I'm definitely feeling a bit of this. My fiance is in the national guard so he keeps fit to pass his PT tests. Problem being that when we eat, we end up with the same servings sometimes and I obviously don't metabolize food nearly as fast as he does so I've put on weight over the past four months (read 15 lbs. Yikes). He's amazing though cause he tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me and now he's joining me on my journey to eating healthy and working out and hopefully becoming a more active couple altogether

ARYASVITKONA SparkPoints: (869)
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10/10/13 9:01 A

I don't feel the pressure to "match" him per se, but I do feel pressure to be the "tiny" one. My SO is 6'2 and weighs 270. He's not fat, though I guess technically his weight would class him as "overweight." He is just a big, stocky, muscular guy. (You can see what I mean in my profile pic.) I am 5'2 and have a small bone structure. I do need to lose some weight and I'm working on it. I don't want us to be the "big" couple. I think it's cute that he's this big stocky guy and I'm petite. I don't want to be the short fat one.

ALICEART2010 SparkPoints: (61,885)
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9/18/13 1:42 P

My boyfriend is petite & small is his size. He is about 5'8" and 155 pounds.
He has petite bone structure and I don't. Even when I reach my "goal" size I will not be petite.

SUPERSYLPH Posts: 1,300
9/16/13 6:31 P

By the way, I looked at your pictures, and you look great! I think you might be critiquing yourself a little too much (we all do). Whether you lose a few pounds or not for the wedding, you'll be beautiful in your wedding dress.

SUPERSYLPH Posts: 1,300
9/16/13 6:27 P

I have at one time, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I just want us both to be healthy and happy.

RACHEL_LYNN_85 SparkPoints: (117)
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9/14/13 12:38 P

When my fiancé proposed, he was 5'10' and about 125. I was 5'4" and 210!

He's always been thin, and struggles to gain weight. He'll eat 4 double cheeseburgers from McDonald's every day of the week and gain .2 pounds. I eat the pickle off one of his burgers and I grow another chin!

My goal is to weigh less than him for our wedding next year, I don't care how much, just less! And my fiancé, being the amazing man that he is, has done his part in this goal of mine by getting up to 158! He's working really hard to gain this weight! Possibly harder than I'm working to lose it!

I definitely feel the pressure to "match" him, but I also take reassurance in the fact it's not an issue for him. I'm not stupid, I know he'd love to see me thinner, healthier, and.....more attractive. But he loves me at every weight, and that's what counts!

LOTUS737 Posts: 3,650
9/10/13 11:17 A

yes! i know it's silly but i'm competitive lol. he's just shaping up so much faster it's frustrating at times! i still feel like a giant blob and he looks really good. and his muscles build so much faster- not fair! but men do build faster, so even though rationally i know i shouldn't be bothered, i am. i don't want to be the 'fat' one at the wedding!

ALICEART2010 SparkPoints: (61,885)
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9/10/13 10:08 A

I thought this quote was right on "Resist the temptation to compare yourself or your spouse to others. In reality, none of us are perfect."

JES_IN_ME Posts: 1,465
9/10/13 9:33 A

I see this in myself to some extent, I don't like the fact that he's in much better shape than I am. I want us to be able to go hiking together and do physical activities without feeling like I'm holding him back. And the fact that he loses weight so much easier than I do without appearing to actually DO anything to accomplish it, is really annoying! Right now he's deploying for nearly a year, and I know he'll end up losing weight & getting in better shape during the deployment since he'll feel he needs to keep up with the other guys, so my goal is to get buff & toned while he's gone! Now if I could just figure out where I left that motivation...

9/9/13 11:03 P

same here. it's funny cuz I see a big guy who isn't slender with a very slender wife and I don't think anything of it. but I see an overweight woman with a slender guy? my bias against my own size and preference for the woman to be smaller than the guy is SO obvious in my thoughts. so I assume that's what other people see and think. it's really terrible.

but I do realize that if I'm attempting to be fit and thin so I can "match" my fiance, I will more than likely fail and make matters worse. so I'm trying to focus on the right things and reasons to lose weight for, and looking like a carbon copy of my fiance isn't a good reason

VETERINARIANESS SparkPoints: (2,526)
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9/9/13 4:08 P

And I don't like that my legs are bigger than his.

VETERINARIANESS SparkPoints: (2,526)
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9/9/13 4:08 P


9/9/13 3:57 P

yes. My Fiance is 6'4" and we weight the same. In fact I'm probably 5 lbs larger than him. he is tall and slender. I feel the pressure from myself and society, not him at all. I feel like we don't "match" and I hate that

VETERINARIANESS SparkPoints: (2,526)
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9/6/13 8:44 P

What I mean is, my fiance and I are both tall (he's 6'4 and I'm 5'8) and he is super thin (155lbs). I feel pressure (from myself) to be super thin because I don't want to be seen as his fat little wife. I want us to be an attractive couple.

Does anyone else feel a similar way?

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