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Desperately need motivational buddy



 
 
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SKEEWEE2MEK
SparkPoints: (30,004)
Fitness Minutes: (21,110)
Posts: 1,731
10/21/12 8:42 P

I build in one or two per day because I have a serious sweet tooth and deprivation only lasts so long, and then you eat way more. So for me, I have an apple with breakfast. It's fruit, I know, but still sweet. I also have a quaker oatmeal square. That is sweet, has fiber and counts as a grain. With lunch I have grapes, again fruit, but sweet. Then at dinner I usually have the REAL treat. I keep weight watchers ice cream bars. BARS because it's already portioned. I also keep snack sized bags of chips, although I rarely eat chips. And, snack sized bags of candy. I'll have some M&Ms, or Snickers or Twix. Just whatever I'd like that day. I also build in two snacks usually, but with those I'll have greek yogurt or a protein shake with almonds or something. I ALWAYS keep my meals under 400 calories; usually closer to 300. Snacks, I keep under 300. So if you figure 3 meals at 350 calories, that's 1050. 2 snacks at 250 calories is 500. 1050+500=1550. I usually come in lower than the high limit. I think I've only reached it once in the whole two weeks. I make sure I don't overdo the treat by having it at the end of a meal when I'm full of healthy food and water (2 cups/1 bottle with each meal). If you have it at snack time you'll be more tempted to go overboard.
That's what works for me! The snack sized candies are about 80 calories, and the WW ice cream I get is 100 calories.



LILAC_FIELDS
SparkPoints: (671)
Fitness Minutes: (58)
Posts: 27
10/21/12 8:24 P

Thanks Skee! You have to tell me how to manage to stick to your planned treat without overdoing it. I try to plan a sweet treat but my problem is stopping myself say after one or two pieces. Do you know of any low cal sweet treats that won't totally undo my day?



SKEEWEE2MEK
SparkPoints: (30,004)
Fitness Minutes: (21,110)
Posts: 1,731
10/21/12 7:29 P

I'm in too. But be forewarned...I've lost weight before so I kind of know what works for me. I build in treats daily, so don't cringe when you see chocolate on my list! Lol
Great idea Lilac emoticon



NSMANN
Posts: 963
10/21/12 7:22 P

KELBYSMOM25,

Check out the "new to me foods" thread on the Diet and Nutrition forum. In fact many posts on that forum have good information about alternative food choices that can help you stay within your calorie count for the day. If you want to get serious about losing weight, it sounds like you need to totally revamp your menu. Try new foods in the produce isle, foods that will be satisfying as well as good for you. Learn to cook new things. All this will help you in your goals. Good luck to you.



KELBYSMOM25
Posts: 8
10/21/12 3:49 P

Absolutely lilac! I'm in. plus I need info being as I am new to weight loss...i mean I'm sure there's info that I haven't discovered about how to go about it, medical facts, tips, tricks,etc. Let's do it!



LILAC_FIELDS
SparkPoints: (671)
Fitness Minutes: (58)
Posts: 27
10/21/12 3:16 P

You are so right Skee! Ok ladies I say that we just motivate each other through this thread. That way we have can encourage each other and have a common meeting place. So I was thinking maybe we can all make a list of what we eat for lets say tomorrow and we can give each other feed back on it? I know I could use the help! I need someone that I can chat with when those terrible binge moments overcome me. Or maybe we can come up with some motivational ideas/quotes or something. As long as I am interacting with someone I think I might just stand a chance. Does this sound like an idea to anyone?



KELBYSMOM25
Posts: 8
10/21/12 3:12 P

Thnx skee, I guess I'm just having a bad day... I have lived on junk good for nearly 26 years and its proving a very very hard habit to break. I've been on this track for about 6 days , when does it get any easier.



SKEEWEE2MEK
SparkPoints: (30,004)
Fitness Minutes: (21,110)
Posts: 1,731
10/21/12 3:01 P

Come on ladies. Of course you have people to talk to. You have ALL of your wonderful Spark friends! If you haven't made many connections yet, that's ok. Put yourself out there and start. You'll find that everyone is supportive and people really will build new relationships with you. I just joined two weeks ago and it's hard to pull myself away most days. I just love all of the interaction. I'll start by making you both my Spark Friends. Reach out when you need to talk. Comment on blogs, etc and you'll have an entire support system before you realize it. Everybody here knows what it's like to struggle with weight emoticon



KELBYSMOM25
Posts: 8
10/21/12 11:24 A

I'm in the same boat ! I have no one to talk to or motivate me or vice versa, my fiancée weighs about as much as a paper clip, my parents were never big, and my sisters are the same way.so I have no one to help me but me..and that sucks. Because I am my own worst enemy. I can't afford a gym. I've been doing this for one week, and 3 days so far I've broken my promise to myself to stay on track. I'm trying not to beat myself up but its hard when there's no one to talk to and no one who understands what its like to be overweight. I don't know if I can keep going, and that makes me so mad! Its just food!! Why can't I just NOT eat it?! Its just one year and 6 months to get where I need to be but I can't stop thinking in the now, not where id be if I stuck with it. (sigh) sorry I'm ranting but I had to get it out...:-(



HANNAH-ELLE
SparkPoints: (389)
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Posts: 14
10/21/12 7:13 A

N16351D-
That's amazing everything you've been through.
But it made me think, yeah there's a lot of stuff that I keep in, but I don't know how to let it out? I mean, I can talk about certain things, but I genuinely feel like it sounds like I'm complaining when I should be grateful for everything I have.
So...I keep it in. I can't afford a counselor, though I used to have one. My dad is a pastor, but I can't see myself telling him all my issues because then I would think he would get the wrong impression, that maybe he did something wrong, which isn't the case.
And, as far as friends go, I have maybe 2, but we don't talk very often, and one of them is my pen-pal, so we only correspond via letters.
But I figured if I could help myself be healthier in all the physical aspects, it would help change me into a more positive/healthy person overall. I just don't know how to begin the process.

Edited by: HANNAH-ELLE at: 10/21/2012 (07:14)


FUNNYGIRLJESS
SparkPoints: (4,067)
Fitness Minutes: (2,372)
Posts: 180
10/20/12 10:51 A

i also need a buddy

i quit working out because life is too stressful lately




LILAC_FIELDS
SparkPoints: (671)
Fitness Minutes: (58)
Posts: 27
10/20/12 10:35 A

That's an interesting thought N16351D-

I became am a stay at home mom after I had my daughter 2 years ago. We don't want to put our daughter in day care for certain reasons and have no family/friends in our area that could care for her during the day so I could return back to work. So I stay at home with her and do the usual things: cook, clean, play, etc. But being only 2 years old I have such a large chunk of free time (since there's no homework or after school activities yet). So I get bored. I am the first to admit that I eat out of boredom. But I can offset this eating with healthy options. But here's the thing...I can eat healthy all day long until my husband gets home from work and then I completely lose it and hardcore binge on everything and anything that totally undues all of my previous work. I have ALWAYS been attracted to sweets for as long as I can remember. Heck I will eat them even if I am stuffed to the brim. I seriously feel like I am a slave to them. They call me and I oblige every single time. And this started even before I became a mom. So I am not sure what my problem is. I just know it has to stop. I told a previous person that I have tried stopping the sugar/junk food intake and I literally felt like a drug addict going through withdrawl. It gets so bad with migranes and irritabilty that I just can't overcome it and give in. I have to break this hold because this horrible habit is already spilling over to my daughter and I feel like a bad mom because of it. I want her to be healthy instead of having someone whom I pump full of sugar with me.



N16351D
Posts: 2,349
10/20/12 8:35 A

Maybe the issue is not the food. Maybe it is something else inside that keeps you from gaining control over bad eating habits. Why do I suggest this? In brief, here's my story.

After a divorce from an abusive marriage at age 21, I took my two-year old daughter and went to finish college. Alone in a new city, university, community, life situation, job, and new church, no one could have felt more lost, lonely, rejected, or like a failure than me. In psychology class I learned I was at the next highest level of stress possible, right next to death of a spouse!

Had started jogging at age 15 in high school Cross Country. Kept it up through this time. Running was my choice as all I needed was a pair of Keds (Nike didn't exist in 1979) and childcare. The latter was tough when I lived on welfare, so I simply jogged around my baby in the park when I could. Forty years later, I am still jogging.

Formerly having been an "A" student and valedectorian of high school, I earned grades of "C" and "D" my first quarter as a single-parent. I didn't know if I could do the three; college, kid, and work part-time. I didn't know anyone that had done it, and wouldn't meet anyone like me for another three years.
Gradually figured out how to study with a toddler, but I was achingly lonely and...something else was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. Sought a counselor but couldn't afford anyone available.
I found him at church. A minister who seemed to genuinely care and who had earned a master's degree in counseling. He listened and guided me two hours a week for two years. Eventually he showed me that I had suppressed anger and that I had reasons to be angry.

He taught me how to take control of my life in a world that opposed my basic, core values of family, faith, and God. He showed me how to respond to the man who spat at me when I went to pick up my food stamps, and how to respond to prejudice since I was the "low-life", a single mother. He taught me how to cope with unwanted advances from men. Many life skills not learned at home I learned from him and my confidence grew. My grades improved as I learned how to manage my time as an overwhelmed young mother. The minister helped me learn to trust men again showing me that there were some good guys out there.

But it was learning to do two things that changed my binge and out-of-control eating. I had to learn that it was emotional eating caused by repressed anger. "Nice girls don't get mad," was my unfounded belief. Also, I had to learn how to respectfully be my own person and do what I believed was right, what God wanted me to do, and not be swayed by those who would drag me down. It was a difficult time of learning and adjustment, with wonderful and great rewards.

Four years later, I graduated from college with a degree in education and started teaching. I married, learned to fly a plane, and kept working in various, interesting jobs. The grandkids we enjoy now are adorable.
The out-of-control eating went away as I learned to say, "NO" to that which took me from my dreams and goals, and "Yes" to that which drew me near them. The binge eating was not needed after sorting out and expressing angry feelings in a safe place and learning skills to cope with anger. As my confidence grew, I ate less food. What a surprise this was to learn!

Binge eating disappeared as I gained control of my life, choices, and emotions. I would have gotten there eventually, but it went faster with a kind, skilled, caring, sincere, counselor who taught me life-skills not learned at home or in school.

I have stayed within my ideal weight range since high school. Running kept me sane during those troubled and tough years, now it helps to keep me strong.

Is it possible that your binge and out-of-control eating could be a disguise covering deeper rooted, and possibly unrecognized, troubles such as I experienced?





HANNAH-ELLE
SparkPoints: (389)
Fitness Minutes: (302)
Posts: 14
10/20/12 8:01 A

I really need the motivation also, it's hard trying to change the habits I've had for so long and I feel very overwhelmed. I don't know what to do first or how to change my habits. It's making me stress. I just want to be healthy!



MSKITTIE26
SparkPoints: (924)
Fitness Minutes: (263)
Posts: 8
10/19/12 11:21 P

Hello. My name is Liz and i just recently relocated from Ohio to Texas. I have an old friend of mine down here but she has never experienced weight issues seeing as she has always been a size 0/1. Love her dearly but i usually feel more upset about myself around her than i do motivated. Its been a struggle to stay positive and motivated with all the stress of relocating away from friends and family for the first time. I do enjoy exercising but i enjoy it much more with a work out buddy. I would love to find some form of support i know i can count on to help me stay on the right path to getting this weight off once and for all, for my health and my happiness. Any tips or suggestions are definitely welcome. emoticon



BRITTANY12346
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Posts: 1
10/19/12 11:18 P

I feel the same exact way I'm 18 in I'm ashame of me I can only image what others think (crying)



SKEEWEE2MEK
SparkPoints: (30,004)
Fitness Minutes: (21,110)
Posts: 1,731
10/19/12 10:04 P

So did I! emoticon



SLIMINDOWN31
SparkPoints: (29,928)
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Posts: 973
10/19/12 9:34 P

I sent you a private message.



NEED2MOVE2
Posts: 1,120
10/19/12 7:35 P

emoticon



LILAC_FIELDS
SparkPoints: (671)
Fitness Minutes: (58)
Posts: 27
10/19/12 4:54 P

Hi guys and gals...I know this thread has been on here about a billion times but I really really need a motivation buddy. I try and try but I just can't stick with this. I have gained another 10 pounds in such a short time and I feel absolutely terrible. I just feel like I cannot control myself and let me tell ya...it's not doing so good for my self image. Food has this horrible hold on me (especially junk food) and I feel trapped. I have no energy and am having a hard time keeping up with my daughter. I am sure it's because of the sugary processed junk. Anyways enough rambling...if there is anyone out here who can offer me guidance and a HUGE push I would be greatly thankful. I have no outside support on this and hopefully someone in my position could really help me. Thanks so much in advance!



 
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