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BEHAPPY24-7 Posts: 30
1/4/14 6:02 P

I am sure your life is difficult and challenging in many ways. I give you military wives just as much credit as those out fighting for our freedom! My thoughts and prayers are with all the military families!

MILKYWAY515 Posts: 113
9/23/13 8:05 A

My son is in the Marines, and I have been an army wife, some time ago. It is hard, but the reunion is so sweet! Focus your thoughts on the reunion, and also use any of us as a sounding board. Hugs to you. You may add me as a friend, and I know you will find you can add any of us who have responded. emoticon

TJANDJESS Posts: 669
9/22/13 2:10 P

The Family readiness group will have other parents who have been left behind while their spouse is deployed. If the military base isn't close try reaching out to a church or getting your son involved in youth sports. It's a win-win, your son stays active and makes friends, and so do you.

KAYMAXIM SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 123
9/22/13 1:10 A

Hey hang in there Evelynnea, and be more kind to yourself. What you are going through is really tough. I am so sorry you don't have more support nearby, but you can use this site as support.

Whatever you do be kinder to yourself. Anyone would be having a hard time in your shoes.

BERKANA_T Posts: 138
9/21/13 10:39 P

Hi Evelynne.

I was an army wife for 9 years. Deployments suck, a lot. And for some reason, a lot of people don't realize how hard they are on the ones left behind. We had access to the Military Family Resource Center on base (Canadian military), which provided a lot of resources and support for the families of deployed personnel, but the biggest source of support was often the other families of members who were also deployed. Our unit also provided additional support for the families, when members were deployed. If there are similar resources available to you, I highly recommend you make use of them.

Feeling lost and alone while your husband is deployed, especially since this is his first deployment, is normal. You're not alone either. I'd hazardous a guess that every other military spouse out there has felt exactly the same, whether they admit it or not. If you don't feel comfortable reaching out within the community you're currently living in, then you may be able to find forums and support groups online. Just knowing that someone else is listening and not judging can help so much.

You're not a terrible mother, either. What you are, is in effect, a single mother. At least for the duration of your husband's deployment. Becoming a parent takes two, and being a parent is best done with two as well. It's like trying to do two full time jobs at once. Forgive yourself for not being a superhuman, decide what you can let go (for example, I learned to ignore dust bunnies under the beds, and that dust on a shelf never killed anyone) and what is too important to set aside (play time at the park with your son, for example), and get on with life. Accept that things will not be perfect, that you will have rough days, and that your son will forgive you for those rough days, if he even remembers them.

You will get through this, and you will be stronger on the other end of it.

EVELYNNEA SparkPoints: (1,500)
Fitness Minutes: (1,196)
Posts: 5
9/21/13 5:38 P

So my husband is deployed. This is his first since he has been in the army NG. We have been married for 7 years in Nov and have a almost 3 year old. I am an RN at a local hospital and only work about 2-3 8hr shifts a week. I almost had a mental breakdown today. I just feel so overwhelmed. Not only is my toddler in his independent stage, but I am trying to potty train him. I just feel so alone in all this. I have a sister-in-law who will come over a couple of times a week so I can work out, but won't stay long. My in-laws live 3 hours away and my family live 12hrs away. My close friends live 12hrs away as well. I haven't really developed any good close relationships here since we moved here and I just feel alone. I feel like a terrible mother too. Of course none of these emotions help with my eating. I'm a stress eater and tend to lean towards the comfort foods when I'm emotional or stressed. *sigh*

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