I'm way too hard on myself and find it difficult not to compare myself to others. This issue goes back to my childhood, so I've struggled with this my whole life. I do try to make a conscious effort to be more positive about myself though.
Fitness Minutes: (66,181)
7,159 5/27/13 12:57 P
I lost half my body weight- I get over the negative body image by sticking to the changes. If I don't eat right or go to the gym I can't say I have done everything to improve myself.. I also had to face facts I did the damage to myself and no one else..
I deal with negative body image by now saying I can't possible do more to improve myself.. If I think of something I am on it.. I also look at myself in the mirror and ask myself what was I realistically expecting with lossing half my body weight.. As we get older if we don't treat our skin right it will give up being elastic. My photos are a warning to women don't loss control over your body- plastic surgery isn't everything people make it out to be..
Edited by: REDSHOES2011 at: 5/27/2013 (12:58)
5/26/13 7:31 P
At some point (long before I embarked on "weight loss"), I had a small epiphany. I saw a co-worker of mine (who is larger than I was), and was thinking to myself "my, doesn't she look nice today!" and started my thought-processes off down the path of how "I wish I could be an Attractive Plus Size Woman like that!"... when it hit me...
I was giving OTHER Plus Size Women a "pass" but not myself. I was seeing the beauty in their shape, presentation, attitude... but not my own. WHY!!!!
The reason my co-worker looked so much more appealing than me was that she took pride in her appearance. She dressed well. She keeps her hair well groomed. She smiles a lot. She walks tall and confident. Lovely!
It dawned on me, that this was the difference between her and I. *I* dressed as if to hide myself away. I didn't bother much with my hair, nor makeup. I moved about the world trying to be as little-noticed as possible. How dreary. How unappealing. I felt bad about myself, which led me to not take care of myself, which made me look even more bland and grey and blah, which led me to feel worse about myself.... what a downward spiral.
At some point later in time (I can't piece together exact timelines for the various little-aha-moments that preceded my Big Life Change), I decided that I would make the best of who and what I was (this goes beyond my weight/appearance; I decided to tackle my whole life, bit by bit). When it came to physical-appearance, I ditched the (unfashionable/unbecoming) glasses I'd been wearing, went back to contacts. Got my hair done. Started wearing makeup. Bought COLOURFUL STYLISH clothes that FIT. I decided to look in the mirror and feel proud that I, too, could be an Attractive Plus Size Woman.
This got me through all of 2012. It was only after a full year of thinking positively, that I was ready to look at what changes I could make to my weight and health.
I wish I had an answer to this.....I don't. I have tried putting a photo of my current self on my fridge as a reminder of how far I have come. I have looked at the label on my jeans (size 0) to remind myself of what size I am. I try to soak into my mind what people tell me about my body size. I have looked into the mirror at myself and took a hard look. To be honest none of these things have worked for me. I still feel fat.... I have been over weight my whole adult life until a year or so ago.
I have the same issue with myself as well. I lost over 100 lbs with the help of surgery and despite loosing a lot of inches and going from a 48 pants waist to 32 I still often think of myself as heavy and fat. It really gets me thinking like that when I am sitting in bus seats, air planes and other small cramped areas that I would have been uncomfortably normally. So I would love to figure out how to get over that feeling that I am fat despite everyone, and I mean everyone family, friends, co-workers ect, telling me that I should stop loosing weight.
Edited by: BRANDONPA at: 5/26/2013 (17:25)
5/26/13 4:40 P
Hope we can all move forward with our struggle for a positive body image. I have a limp from an accident I had a year and a half ago, my weight loss is helping me but I hope to. overcome the image in my head.
Body image is where taking pictures of your progress is important...even if you are the only one who will ever see them. We know why we started ...but we need reminders of how far we've come. Logging out measurements, tracking our weight, keeping that one pair of jeans and that top we wore at our heaviest can help put things in perspective. And when you see the before and after pictures, you see how far you've come. The mind needs visual comparisons to see progress.
5/26/13 2:34 P
Yep...even at my smallest, I hated my thighs.
How do I overcome it?
I don't really. At best I "deal with it," but I never get past it. I have talked to professionals, and for the most part, they have no idea what they're talking about. Their way of fixing it usually involves taking pills for depression. They just can't wrap their heads around how someone can misperceive reality they way we do.
Oh I so struggle with this. I have no advice. I am about a size 4 or 2 and still can't seem to be happy with my look. That makes me sad, but I am not sure how to get past this. I am sure many of us have this issue. I think it does come down to acceptance.
Fitness Minutes: (49,902)
4,510 5/26/13 1:22 P
For me, it is not a matter of "stopping it" ... or "changing my opinion" about those things I do not like about myself. I know I will never like everything about myself.
For me, it is about accepting that fact -- and being objective about it. I will always be honest with myself and be aware of things that I am pleased with -- and other things I am not pleased with. But I will not let that ruin my day. I do not need sugary sweet affirmations of "perfection" to get through my day. I don't need constant reminders or reinforcement that I am wonderful or brilliant or beautiful. I know I am not perfect and never will be.
Even if I were to ever reach my ideal weight, I would still not be perfect -- and I know that.
That's just the way reality is ... and I accept that ... and move on with trying to be a good person, do good work, make the world a better place, and look for pleasure in life along the way.
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
5/26/13 1:09 P
I know what worked for me.....I went and spoke with a professional about negative body image and learned quite a bit including how to break that train of thought when it pops into my head.
To be honest, I have always loved myself in all aspects, body, mind and spirit.
That is not to say that I've always loved my weight but even at higher weights in the past, I have felt myself to be beautiful.
I mentioned this in my spark blog today. There is a difference between loving myself at all weights and in all circumstances but feeling that I am naturally a person who feels better at a lighter weight than I once (decades ago) allowed myself to get to. People come in all natural sizes, weights and shapes and I honor all these.
So I have never had a negative self-image of any kind, which is not the same thing as saying I haven't sought changes on all fronts.
I guess I am lucky. I love me no matter what size am, but I like how I look at a smaller size. I guess my determination keeps me up with others. I out pass others at my age that are not over weight when it comes to energy and having fun. Weight won't stop me. I never knock myself down, I had enough of that as a child. I do say things to myself "like you would look more beautiful if you would just take better care of yourself". I am better at taking care of my inside, I love the woman I am! :)
I might be unlucky and have faced many horrific things in my life that my weight is not a factor on how I feel about myself. I am losing weight once again. Extended family on both sides have caused so much chaos, but some are gone now as they have passed and others have been separated from toxic living arrangements that now I can breathe without worrying or called on for help. They no longer can take their problems out on me just because they see me happy and they know I have a forgiving heart. My head is now clear without fear so I shall move forward with my goals.
I wish I had advice for you as we are all different I am afraid I do not. I can say always remember you are beautiful and at low times think of your great qualities, hold your head up high and walk with confidence.
I know this is one of my hardest things to deal with .. I love my legs, I love my arms.. .I look at my stomach and think.. what the the hell is wrong with you and why are you still fat?!
I have lost about 10 inches but I need to loose another 15more to be where I want to be..
I would be happy if!
That doesn't cut it for me, target exercises don't cut it, its the overall exercising that will and the right nutrition will, Its like we all know this... I am good with that! However, its the other part of dealing with the image and thoughts that I have a hard time with ... Getting over it to be 'happy' about it
If you deal with a negative body image and hate for a part of your body, how are you over coming it? What things do you change about your thoughts or what do you tell yourself to change it to a positive?
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