I understand what you are feeling. My step-son in 16 and he lives with his mom, well on paper she is who is lives with, but spends most nights with my in-laws, they live with in walking distance from each other. When he was younger and my husband would want to have him for the weekend she would make up some grand plans they had and would tell us no. Then we would go to my in-laws for dinner and he would be there. WTF. Who knows where she would be wouldn't see her for days. This happened many times. I did say something, did it make things better no, but I wanted her to know how I felt and how it made her look, not that I cared how she looked, lol. I mostly wanted to tell her she was being a bad mom. I would have your husband talk to her about it, and see if things change, if not you could always go back through the court system. You could even ask your step-daughter if she even wants to go see her mom, if not then maybe she doesn't have to. Sorry you are going through this I know it is tough.