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Date night with the wife goes horribly wrong!



 
 
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MWOODS21
Posts: 504
1/17/13 2:40 P

LOL! emoticon



FEDGIRL4
Posts: 1,868
1/17/13 2:30 P

If I were a different person, I may have thought it was mean, but I thought it was funny.

I agree with AZULVIOLETA6, get a sitter and go to a real restaurant. You only have one (just you and her) date night.

I have only one with my hubby too. He owns his own business and has no inside help (right now) except for that one evening.



LEANIE64
SparkPoints: (17,818)
Fitness Minutes: (7,268)
Posts: 1,127
1/17/13 2:21 P

too funny !!!



SWEETNHOT
Posts: 526
1/17/13 1:55 P

WOW! Funny how things teach us life lessons.



SWEETSUGAR7
Posts: 2,450
1/17/13 1:52 P

Good story. You should write books.

I think you need to find a new day of the week and have the kids see a neighbor or a friend or family and get more hours. Spend 1 night with someone.
45 minutes is nice but you have to rush and you don't have time relax and you could save money by eating somewhere less expensive.
Are you eating healthy when you eat out?

I would never call it date night. Date night is where you eat see a movie and maybe have time left over to have intimacy. It should be time not thinking or worrying about the kids. You do that 24/7. Take a real break.

You could partner with your wife and work out together or find a place to go walking hold hands.

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your wife.



PURECOUNTRY29
Posts: 866
1/17/13 12:35 P

sounds like something my husband would do, very funny, probably because it wasnt me it happened too..lol



MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 13,503
1/17/13 12:22 P

I would have been mad at first, but found it funny later.



1GROVES2
Posts: 10,124
1/17/13 11:59 A

I think this was very funny and well written...I could visualize the whole thing!
I was really surprised by all the negative replies and even scoldings! I am a very jumpy person and my husband is always doing stuff like that to me, and it is funny later.....



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
1/17/13 11:30 A

Jenn- When a prank like that is going to be played out there can be zero chance it could fail by being the wrong person. I am a DIL to a retired gun store owner. They are a legally pistol packing family something like that where you are backed in and terrified could have been his end all for a joke. I do not have a gun licence myself but to have that happen to me would have really scared me and so I see no funny in his irritable foul mood impatient joke at all. I am a fun loving person who has a big personality and loves to play jokes and have jokes done tome as well, but this was just pure dumb!



CMCOLE
Posts: 2,667
1/17/13 8:38 A

wow, you certainly have had a wide range of replies to your story. I won't bother adding anything else in that regard.

I do hope, however, that your future date nights do not go awry.



JENNIK2
Posts: 1,803
1/16/13 4:56 P

I think it was funny, and since you apologized to the other woman I don't think anyone should stay mad. I think the person who posted before me may take themselves a little too seriously. Laughing is good for you!



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
1/16/13 4:35 P

Class A** if you ask me. A joke is one thing but you were not in a playful mood, you were in an impatient mood so it back fired on you and scared the wrong woman, how humiliating to your wife. Wrong place to play a joke too where kids are present after all the crimes lately. I bet the husband would have had words with you. I wish he would have and put you in your little place. I imagine sparkpeople will not like my honesty here, but they should, this is my honest opinion



LOLEMA
SparkPoints: (88,367)
Fitness Minutes: (109,259)
Posts: 4,240
1/15/13 10:20 A

speechless actually



KAITLYNN51
Posts: 762
1/15/13 9:56 A

How hilarious! It sounds like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.
This is just too funny and I agree with others you are a great writer!



BEARLYBOO
SparkPoints: (12,925)
Fitness Minutes: (13,689)
Posts: 816
1/14/13 7:16 P

Aw jeez.



CAYCESMOM
Posts: 343
1/14/13 6:24 P

Oh my gosh!! You are SO funny! What a great story. I am devious like that and my husband always takes what seems like forever when I am waiting in the car. I could see hatching that plan, but your ability to write about it is fantastic.

I will be sharing this with my husband in the hopes that he will become more active on this site.

Thanks for a great laugh!! emoticon



AZULVIOLETA6
SparkPoints: (51,532)
Fitness Minutes: (62,903)
Posts: 2,567
1/13/13 8:59 P

Well, that was an interesting look into the male psyche. emoticon

I have to say that if someone took me to Applebee's on a date, I would be less than impressed. Get a babysitter and go to a real restaurant...I think you might owe it to your wife. A gift card for the stranger you scared is a good idea too.



BOBBYS1GIRL
SparkPoints: (5,364)
Fitness Minutes: (2,193)
Posts: 302
1/13/13 8:52 P

LOL!!! Such a clown!



JANIEG68
SparkPoints: (14,190)
Fitness Minutes: (18,636)
Posts: 43
1/13/13 8:29 P

Great story! I have many stories of impatience to share...these stories build character (and that's the story I tell myself!)



FITGLAMGIRL
Posts: 2,035
1/13/13 7:52 P

Ha Ha that was hilarious. LMFAO! My approval meter on my own husband just went way up! Thanks for that! Ha Ha!



ONLINEASLLOU
SparkPoints: (44,066)
Fitness Minutes: (31,465)
Posts: 3,600
1/13/13 7:43 P

Thank you for considering a gift card.

I agree that pressing charges would be going overboard ... but iyou really should do SOMETHING to make it up to her.



ALLYALLYT
Posts: 8,846
1/13/13 7:27 P

emoticon



MCONN8819
Posts: 2
1/13/13 7:08 P

What a great idea! I saw the lady the other night. I was walking into the Y and someone was holding the door. She said. I'll hold the door as long as you dont scare me!" I didnt recognize her until then. I appologized and she laughed and said its funny now, but she was scared! I felt horrible!! Gift card is a great idea!



ATHENA1966
Posts: 2,246
1/13/13 6:45 P

I swear that sounds like something my husband would have done. He once mistook a woman in a theater for me (it was dark).



JOYCECAIN
SparkPoints: (58,620)
Fitness Minutes: (40,976)
Posts: 2,745
1/13/13 6:39 P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, man I thought I had heard them all. This is so cool. I think it is funny. Of course I am 63 yrs old, and I don't get out much, BUT, I hate to wait for people, and I usually keep my mouth shut. But I do wear my Black T-shirt that says: "I DON'T GO TO BED MAD, I JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT PLANNING MY REVENGE"



MEANDMOOSE
SparkPoints: (15,637)
Fitness Minutes: (12,999)
Posts: 636
1/13/13 6:37 P

Funny story and you tell it so well. I think someone filing charges against you would have been way overboard. After all, what did you really do but yell from inside your car. That being said, a note with a gift card to Applebees might not be amiss. =)



SPED67
SparkPoints: (2,491)
Fitness Minutes: (1,668)
Posts: 25
1/13/13 6:21 P

Oh my as I was reading this I guess I started laughing a bit too loudly and got the dirtiest look from the boyfriend............but really a nice gift card to Applebees might be what you need to get that poor woman



PUNKPOPTART
SparkPoints: (1,163)
Fitness Minutes: (250)
Posts: 39
1/13/13 5:37 P

OH. MY GOD. Great read! Me and my boyfriend were cracking up reading this!



ANJOYLA
SparkPoints: (25,138)
Fitness Minutes: (155)
Posts: 469
1/13/13 5:15 P

MC this is absolutely hilarious. I am sorry that your date night seems to be running amuck. Why don't you let her drive and you take the kids in? That way you know you won't stay long. Apparently she is talking to people that is preventing her from being on time.






ONLINEASLLOU
SparkPoints: (44,066)
Fitness Minutes: (31,465)
Posts: 3,600
1/13/13 5:14 P

Your story reminds me of an incident involving one of my close friends whose husband was in the Marines. One of his idiot friends decided it would be funny to scare her while she was home alone at night. She heard him outside, got the gun, and almost killed him before she realized the "prowler" was just playing a joke.

You're lucky the person you scared wasn't caryying a gun -- and has apparently decided not to press charges. Maybe you'll think twice before you create a scary (and potentially dangerous) situation in the future.

I think you owe this woman something. Man up, write a letter, and apologize -- and enclose a gift certificate to a restaurant or local mall or something. You're getting a story to amuse your friends with. She'll be afraid to out alone at night for God knows how long.

As a single woman who has sometimes been afraid out at alone ... if I were your victim, you'd be settling with me big time ... or I'd consider filing criminal and/or civil charges.

Edited by: ONLINEASLLOU at: 1/13/2013 (17:17)


THINNYMINNY
SparkPoints: (34,863)
Fitness Minutes: (20,365)
Posts: 3,736
1/13/13 4:41 P

OMG! So funny! Thank you for sharing your adventure--love your self-deprecating humor!



JULIA1154
Posts: 1,782
1/13/13 4:41 P

Great story - thank you, and MUCH better luck next week!



UGAKATE85
Posts: 2,449
1/13/13 4:31 P

hahahahahahahaha love it!



GLITTERFAIRY77
Posts: 8,023
1/13/13 4:27 P

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
!!!! You are quite the writer.

That wouldn't happen to be West Ridge Plaza in Rochester, NY would it? The TKD studio next to PetSmart, which is next to JoAnn Fabrics?
That is the funniest ish I've read all day, and I frequent yahoo! answers.



KARENCRANER
Posts: 3,421
1/13/13 3:49 P

On the bright side, you are a great suspense-story writer! I was riveted and sitting on the edge of my seat! Is it bad that I got a great belly-laugh out of the climax? Better luck with next week's date!



MCONN8819
Posts: 2
1/13/13 1:35 P

My resolution this year is to lose weight and become more active in my family. Spending more time with the kids and dedicating a night a week with my wife for "date night." However, things have not started off real well!

I really don’t know where to begin. It started out as a nice thought. My wife Stacey and I were going to drop off the kids for their Wednesday TKD training and then just the two of us would go out for dinner. Stacey has signed the kids up for an optional Wednesday TKD training that lasts from 6:30pm-8pm every Wednesday night. It is taught by a different instructor than the normal classes and is intended to focus on tournament preparation and sparing. The instructor had great intentions, but as most children already attend Tuesdays and Thursdays, the optional 1.5 hour class didn't appeal to normal people that have other interest besides kicking the air at imaginary objects. Apparently my family has no other interests or obligations.

Even though the class lasts for 1.5 hours, somehow this translates into barely 45 minutes for my wife and me to do anything by ourselves. When she drops the kids off, she insists that she has to walk in with them and to see if they have all their gear and equipment. Considering that my wife is the one that packs their bags, fills their water bottles, and loads it into the car, one would think this final check would not be required. One would also think that since it is only 20 feet into the gym from the parking lot and typically it is only our children attending the superfluous class that this final check and drop off could be done in seconds. However, I usually sit waiting in the car watching my “date night” click away minute after minute.

My frustration stems from knowing that once my wife returns to the car and we drive across the street to Applebee’s, we will have to leave at least 20 minutes before 8pm just in case they get out early. I really don’t think that has ever happened and even if it did, our children usually make up 66.6% of the class. My assumption is the TKD instructor would not push the children out into the dark parking lot and wave good bye and drive off. Add also to this my wife’s fear that our waiter could go on break and not return with the check in time to pay, we must make our order and ask for the bill by no later than 7:25p.m. Ahhh, date night!

These thoughts added to my frustration and might be a contributing factor in what happened the other night. I don’t think I am welcome anymore at TKD and most likely I have been listed as “a person of suspicion” after last Wednesday night. We drove over to drop the kids off and my wife said, “Now, I just have to go in and make sure they have everything.” I knew it would take much longer than she described, and I was right. I’m not one that should ever be left alone when bored and frustrated. I began to construct a plan to teach my wife a lesson in time management. At first I thought I should just drive away without her and let her walk to Applebee’s. Then, I thought, “no, I like being married, I probably shouldn't do that.” As the minutes clicked by, I had time to conceive a devious plan.

I surveyed the parking lot and thought of a wonderfully, awful, plan. The TKD gym is currently in one of the vacant stores in our depressing “Westridge Mall.” Students gain access to the gym by entering what use to be a service delivery door on the backside of the mall. The door has no external handle and is propped open by a piece of tape on TKD night. As this is a service entrance, there is no side walk or curb between the parking lot and the door. My first thought was to block the door with the car so my wife couldn't get out. Then I imagined that a fire alarm could be miraculously going off at the same time and I could trap my family inside. No, not a good idea.

So, I backed the car up just far enough so the door could fully open and would be facing the front of my car. Given that there are no lights in the rear of the mall parking lot, it was pitch black outside the door. Then, I came up with my plan.

{Ok, story pause, in my defense, if my wife HAD been in and out I would not have had time to develop and execute this plan. In other words, she is partially at fault here too!}

I sat in the dark with the car idling and imagined my wife stepping out the door to be surprised by the bumper of the car directly in front of her. Even better, I would sit in the dark and when she opened the door I would flip the brights on and holler something like, “WHHAACTHCAAA!” Knowing that every great plan needs proper execution, I began to practice flipping the brights on and yelling “WHHAACTHCAAA!” at the same time. I performed 5 separate drills, each with perfect precision and execution of hand and mouth synchronization.

Now all I had to do was wait. {Yes!! Still waiting} My eyes were burning a hole through the windshield of the car as I had my fingers gripping the headlight switch. In a last minute thought I quickly rolled down the window so my wife could also hear me yell “WHHAACTHCAAA!” when she walked through the door. “Breathe softly” I told myself, “wait for the light to spill out of the TKD door then unleash the furry!”

Finally, the door cracked open and my wife’s silhouette filled the frame and I flipped the headlight switch and let out a loud, guttural “WHHAACTHCAAA!” It was much louder than I had practiced as my “WHHAACTHCAAA!” was now being fed by a tide of adrenaline. The target of my plan stood horrified and let out a scream and tried to run back inside the TKD building but the door had latched behind her. “I trapped her in my brilliant plan” I thought. Then, my mouth fell open as I realized a horrifying realization. This wasn't my wife!

“Oh sweet Havana, what have I done?” I asked myself. I jumped at of the car to explain to the mother of the other 33.3% of the class what had happened when she went into a defensive posture. Usually, this woman stayed and watched her child’s class and would never exit at this time. And judging by the defensive posture she displayed, she had been paying attention to her child’s class!

I yelled out, “I am so sorry; I thought you were my wife!” She yelled back, “Why would you do this to your wife?”

I have to admit, it was a good question!

At this time the door behind her opened and almost bumped her in the back as my wife stepped through the door. “This looks bad, but I can explain!” was all I could muster to say.

To my wife’s credit, she quickly surveyed the scene, saw the car, the lights on and the horror in the eyes of this woman and calmly said. “I’m sorry, my husband is an idiot.” I said, “She’s right, I am, I thought it would be funny to scare my wife and you got in the way.” She gave a slight smile then looked at my wife and gave a slight shake of her head as if saying, “No, I feel sorry for you.”

The drive to Applebee’s was rather quiet and Stacey said we would need to leave even earlier than usual. I didn't even ask why but my wife offered the reason as we paid the check. “I think I should drop you off at the house and pick up the kids by myself so I can apologize for your actions to that poor woman.” I told her I thought that was a great idea and it would give me time to think about what I had done. She shot me a look as if to say, “like that will happen.”

When I saw the headlights pull into the driveway I was relieved that is wasn't the local police coming to serve me a restraining order from the TKD parent. As they walked into the house and began taking off their coats and boots, I stood stupidly by the front door waiting for my wife’s report. The kid’s said, “hey dad, why weren't you with mom when she picked us up?” I shrugged dumbly, turning from their question and asked my wife, “how did it go?”

“Well, I couldn't talk to her because she asked her husband to pick up their child. Perhaps she was afraid you would cross paths again!?”

So, I have decided that from now on, I will meet my wife at Applebee’s on Wednesday nights. I think that is just safer for everyone. And I won’t mind a bit is she is not on time!


Edited by: MCONN8819 at: 1/13/2013 (19:10)


 
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