I've struggled with finding the right balance of exercise and calorie decrease, too. It's not that I can't find a balance, I just have had difficulty finding a balance that resulted in fat loss!
After 2 months of working at it, I finally found a point where I am losing weight, but it's at the recommended calorie intake (a la SP) with only about 1/3 of the exercising I would like to do, and was feeling good about. Soo... today I am starting to add on about 200 calories a day, and increasing my exercise at the same rate. Logic dictates that I would continue to lose weight, right?
It does seem to be a harder balance for some to find than for others. Good luck!