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Cant get back on my feet, PLEASE HELP!



 
 
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MYKIDSRSWEET
SparkPoints: (12,017)
Fitness Minutes: (7,799)
Posts: 366
6/21/13 5:16 P

These ladies have given you older full advice. I have had a form of depression called seasonal affective disorder. Taking vitamin d and walking outside really helps. My doctor said exercise releases endorphins in your Brian that help make you feel good. Hope that can be somewhat helpful.



TURQUOISEBIKE
SparkPoints: (1,015)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 55
6/21/13 1:46 P

Would like to second Archimedes about the nice clothes/new haircut ( or new glasses or contact lenses or whatever). It's a minor point, but it does make a difference. A year and a half ago, I bought myself two pairs of really nice brown stretch jeans even through I didn't really want to own clothes with a 44 inch waist. I needed something to wear to a trade fair and was too big for my "interview suit". I'm much lighter now, and both these pairs of favourite trousers (and the suit) went to my local thrift store before I got much wear out of them. At the time, though, it meant a lot to be attractively dressed in a way that was "me", in clothes that weren't too formal or intended for a much older person but still looked good in a fairly formal environment. I walked tall and had a spring in my step at the trade fair and at various other events afterwards, and that in turn had other positive knock-on effects.



WENDIWU
Posts: 1,921
6/21/13 12:34 P

Abimoline....you have gotten some great advice here from these ladies. I too get very down when i go off and eat for no particular reason. i beat myself up mentally and get depressed as well. i have been fat my whole life and see these people around me losing weight and they make it seem so easy....why not for me. i have to remember though that the "fattness" didnt just happen over night. it has come from years and years of unhealthy habits, not working out, and eating whatever i wanted.

it sounds kind of stupid but i relate myself to a pot bellied pig. they are cute and adorable when they are babies. and when you feed them only what they are supposed to have they will stay small and cute BUT,.,feed them table scraps and junk...they will become a regular huge pig.

so....if i eat what im supposed to i will shrink and be not a huge pig. lol

maybe it is not the best scenario but you can do this. we are here to listen. i am glad you will be seeing the psychatrist. they can dig deeper and help you figure it out.



ABIMOLINE
SparkPoints: (2,216)
Fitness Minutes: (373)
Posts: 9
6/20/13 9:51 P

I wanna THANKS YOU for answering, it was really helpful. I have read all your answers several times, every time IŽm starting to feel down again I read them.
They took me blood samples 2 days ago, tomorrow IŽll know the results. So, if I have something besides my untreated deperession IŽll get to know it :)
Anyways I already have a phsychatrist appointment: july, the 16th. Untill that day iŽll try to follow all your advices, keeping proactive, taking it slowly and being kind to myself (this is the hardest, at least iŽll try)
Thanks you all again for answering. emoticon

Edited by: ABIMOLINE at: 6/20/2013 (21:52)


ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (139,179)
Fitness Minutes: (208,750)
Posts: 20,615
6/14/13 4:56 A

ABIMOLINE,

I know everything seems really overwhelming right now, but there is always HOPE. Don't beat yourself up because you gained weight. That is something that has happened to every single member of Spark at one time or another. We're all experts at gaining, losing and regaining the weight. Twice in my life I've weighed over 200+ pounds. A few years ago, I decided that wasn't going to happen a third time. You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future.

Start with some simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones. And that's how good health starts.

One small change really CAN change your life !!

But, you do need to be proactive. And one thing you're going to have to do is get back into treatment for your depression. As the others have mentioned, if you don't treat your depression, it's going to make losing weight and regaining your self esteem hard. Don't be afraid to talk with your therapist or even your doctor. In fact, if you haven't had a physical in a long time, I'm going to encourage to get one. Find out what your numbers are for cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc... These will change as you adopt healthier habits, but you need to know what's going on with your body.

Mostly, be kind to yourself as you would to others. Would you tell your best friend they look fat ? would you tell your BF that they are a total failure ? Okay, if you wouldn't tell your best friend those things, why do you tell them to yourself ?

There is one simple thing you can do for yourself to help you feel a bit better right now. Go out and buy a snazzy new outfit. Do not buy something in a smaller size. I want you to go out and buy something that flatters your current figure. it doesn't have to be much. it could be a new shirt, pants or jacket. Don't worry about what the size says. you can always cut out the tag. Buy what fits.

Nothing says new attitude like some new clothing. If you don't want to buy clothes, get yourself a new hair do. get your nails done or have a pedicure. PAMPER yourself !!! that is one small thing you can do to help boost your self esteem.

I know this really is very overwhelming, thus the need to take this slowly.

emoticon



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (128,536)
Fitness Minutes: (32,656)
Posts: 21,451
6/14/13 3:26 A

My Sweet - I really feel for you. I understand Depression only too well!

I am glad that you have made that appointment with your Psychiatrist! Hopefully, this time you will stick with it. Do you also have a Therapist? Occasionally we are lucky in that our Psychiatrist IS our Therapist too, but a lot only monitor and prescribe, and leave the talking therapy to a Psychologist or similar.

Unfortunately, a lot of people stop their treatment, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is because they can't afford it (but there is often a way around that), or because they feel 'better' - but with some types of Depression, they only feel better BECAUSE of the medication. Sometimes specific types of Depression-related conditions (Bi-polar being one) need ongoing treatment for the rest of the person's life!

I would think that you have been taught relaxation techniques??? If so, please put them into practice when you start to feel anxious, or that you are turning to food. TELL yourself BEFORE you reach the food that THAT won't solve anything, and in fact will only add to your worries.

Finding a hobby can be beneficial, as can coming onto SP and reading the various articles or message boards. Going for a walk is another distraction that also helps with weight-loss.

"For me and for my love. He is so amazing with me, and I know he truly loves me for who I am, but he doesnt deserve this. i dont want him to have this depressive fat wife. its not fair for him. And its not fair fo me. This is not who I am."

You are quite right ....... weight is NOT who you are! Who you are is what is inside your mind .... your heart! Your husband will love you regardless - that is what love is. You are here to reverse your weight gain, and I see that you have made inroads into that, so congratulations. I am MORE than confident that you will be able to continue. Each little drop will bring joy. Odds are there will be little gains, too, because everyone has those times, but when you look at the big picture, I am sure you will agree that 2 or 3 lbs loss, then 1lb gain, means a total of 2lb loss, which is FAR better than NO loss at all.

You might find it overpowering now, but when that voice tells you to reach for food when you aren't hungry, give it a boot out the door! DON'T let depression OR that negative voice get the better of you - YOU be the boss instead :-)

Take care, and BIG hugs,
Kris





LILLIPUTIANNA
Posts: 1,038
6/13/13 11:50 P

Okay...you already answered your own question...

"I quit the treatment., I know I shouldn't have."

That's exactly right. You need to treat your depression like an illness, because it IS an illness, like heart disease, epilepsy, diabetes. It is physical and NOT "just in your head." You cannot fix it through the power of positive thinking.

"I also know I cant treat it just with pills..."

Actually, you can. Does eating well and exercising help? Absolutely, but again, it is an illness. You have to take it seriously. Pills do help. It is a life-threatening disorder and should never be underestimated.

Be honest with the people who love you. People who love you will want to hear your troubles and won't want to see you suffer. They will help you.

Treat yourself with kindness until your appointment. Remember, you are not alone. Many people face the same struggle. You can get through this. Be brave.

emoticon



ABIMOLINE
SparkPoints: (2,216)
Fitness Minutes: (373)
Posts: 9
6/13/13 10:06 P

This is my problem: I cant control the emotional eating. I am deseperated. I look myself at the mirror and feel angry and sad, I dont like waht I see, then I eat and the I feeel even worst. it is like a vicius circle I cant stop. I feel so overwheled. Its like a battle taking place inside of me, one ay I feel I can do it, and I can conquer anything, and the next day it seems my world faalls apart.
I've had ocasional mild depressive periods since my last teen years, but since I lost my mum over a ovarian cancer I just cant ge back on my feet. I went to the psychiatrist for the very first time on 2010 and started a tretament,I saw results very quickly, I was like an entirly other person, I was starting to be who I used to be again, I started to be that cheerful, optimistic full of energy person I used to be, willing to do staff. Plus I fell in love with my good friend ( who had secrtely loved me since we met in 2005 emoticon ). Life was smiling to me. I quit the treatment., I know I shouldnt have. My mistake. Now, even though i am happily married with the love of my life, who truly supports me, i cant get out of the well, I just keep falling and falling. I tryed to start the treatment again last year but I didnt see any results, I coldnt get through it, I left the treatment again. And the fell was even worst. I cant find consistency, I am barely a shadow of the person i used to be. And the worst part is taht I got used to be like this.
I already made an appoimennt with the psychiatrist, but I still have to wait untill July 16.
My problem is i cant control my emotional eating and negattive thinking patterns. I feel bad and i eat, feel anxious and eat, feel sad and eat...
I am aware my depression got worst through the years, I also know I cant treat it just with pills, I need to excercise and eat healthy. But i have a big lack of will. Some days I Feel I am just not worth.
I am 5.54 feet tall and weigh 197 pounds. I gained 55 lbs in the last 7 years, I've been back and forth, would lost 10 ponds and then gain back 20, so i ended up like this.
With 143 pounds, i wasnt thin like a model, but had a normal BMI, was in a healthy weight.
Now I cant even llo at the mirror, I feel so awful I cant recognize myself in the reflection. Tht big girl is not me.
I am so sick and tired of my old raggedy clothes. I just cant stand shoopping with this size,so i do't. Anything I like fits, its so embarassing. i am always making excuses to avoid photos, I am so sick of being "the big girl", always makin excusses to avoid things I really wanna do, like going to the beach, just because of my body. I am tired of my weight always holding me back
I wanna change, i need to change. For me and for my love. He is so amazing with me, and I know he truly loves me for who I am, but he doesnt deserve this. i dont want him to have this depressive fat wife. its not fair for him. And its not fair fo me. This is not who I am.
PLEASE HELP MEEE!!
what shold I do?? How can i control my emotional eating and my negative thinking??
I feel free to talk about this here because it's kind of anonymous, my friends and family dont speak english and dont know this site so...
I am desesperated, i need to lose my weight!!
Thanks sparkpeople! Hope I'm not a hoeless case...



 
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