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KOMTRIA Posts: 1,063
4/6/14 10:00 P

I like the idea of having enough side dishes that someone could make a meal out of those if they didn't care for the main course. I think your husband needs to think about what he is communicating when there are different rules for different family members.

Edited by: KOMTRIA at: 4/6/2014 (22:02)
4/6/14 9:29 P

When I was a child my parents made me eat whatever was prepared. I didn't like vegetables back then, but ate them anyway. Kids can be very picky eaters, but IMO they need to eat what's nutritious whether they like it or not. As for adults, if they don't like what's being served they should make something for themselves.

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
4/6/14 9:03 P

I wonder if the food argument ever got solved...

SEPTEMBERGRL70 SparkPoints: (1,619)
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4/6/14 8:22 P

No sense making two seperate meals for dinner. Twice the work, twice the time, twice the clean up. Having two dinner options is not practical. One meal for everyone, those that don't like it can choose not to eat whatever, and make themself a sandwich. I try to plan to have something everyone enjoys, but at times people are just picky eaters. If you cave and make something different, this will become expected. They can bring/make their own food, and perhaps you can suggest they make/buy enough to Share with other family members! Problem solved!

HOTPEPPER71 SparkPoints: (8,779)
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4/6/14 7:31 P

We have an 11 year old girl and I believe in teaching her to make healthy choices. We have all whole foods in our house (and a few junky things but not many). Everyone for the most part eats when they are hungry and makes what they want. I can not imagine making my kiddo eat things that she doesn't want. She is a big salad eater. Loves greens and other veggies and fruits. She makes eggs when that is what she wants and will make healthy decisions most of the time. When I was young my mom made me eat what she made for dinner and I really dislike peas and corn;) If your kids want eggs on pancake night why can't they have eggs or salad or sushi? Healthy eating is what is important. Not the "rules".

PFARRAR65 SparkPoints: (37,141)
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4/6/14 7:22 P

The rule is "everyone" must eat what is for dinner. The word "everyone" to me includes the adults. If one expects children to follow the rules we as adults MUST set the example by following the rules ourselves. If the adult is allowed to prepare themselves something else so should the children (ie pbj).

4/6/14 6:32 P

When I make something I know in advance someone doesn't like, I make an option. If dinner is chicken and asparagus, I'll add a salad to the menu knowing my youngest has never liked asparagus. She will eat a spear or two (manners are important and tasting something is good manners) but she will just have more salad.

I save zucchini for the nights my son isn't home.

I only make breakfast for dinner when it's just my daughter and I - no one else likes it - for us it's a treat.

If you insist on serving an adult something they dislike, you are going to have an adult making something else.

A child will probably eat more of what they like or ask for a snack later.

I have found it easier to be a thoughtful cook than to fight food battles.

when you force someone to do what they want - clean a plate - you can build resentment. That is why I encourage them to just taste and make no negative comment or face. For the record my kids are adventurous eaters. Picky phases were ignored because there was no battle. Don't like meatloaf tonight? Eat more vegetables. It was never a big deal.

Edited by: LILSPARKGIRL at: 4/7/2014 (12:13)
SEPTEMBERGRL70 SparkPoints: (1,619)
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4/6/14 2:40 P

I Cook dinner for the entire family, I have a Home Kitchen-NOT a Resturant! Same rule apply to everyone including my husband. If someone becomes "Picky" they are welcome to make their own dinner then clean up after themself

ICANTODAY Posts: 975
4/6/14 2:30 P

I suspect you have serious control issues in your home and pancakes are just the flash point. Should adults eat whatever's placed in front of them? Who exactly is going to enforce that?

And what topic will this power struggle transfer to once you have the pancake issue squared away?

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (86,609)
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4/6/14 12:39 P

When everyone was younger we all ate what was cooked. That has changed a bit. Within the past year (might be hormonal changes) I can't digest some foods (meats mostly) the way I used to. So, I end up having to make some other food that is more agreeable.

PACAROLSUE SparkPoints: (4,521)
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4/5/14 6:47 P

When I was growing up we ate what Mom cooked or we went hungry. I didn't like fish back then, and that night I would fill up on potatoes and veggies. To us, pancakes was dinner food. We were poor, and pancakes were cheap to make and filled you up. We usually had cereal or eggs for breakfast, never pancakes.

When I was cooking for my family, I was lucky that everyone would eat what I made. Not picky eaters, but I did avoid things that no one liked. My son didn't like peas. I never made him eat them. I would just make 2 veggies when I had peas and each could choose which veggie they wanted. I was the one who usually wanted something different. I like a wide variety of foods and like to try new foods. I might add, I am the only one who is overweight.

I think if your DH does not like pancakes, you should not make them for dinner. OR, if you really want pancakes, make something different for him. A child is different. They should be taught at a very young age just to eat what's prepared. After trying it a few times if they still really don't like it, I would accept that and let them eat something else. PBJ isn't going to hurt them once in a while. It should not be an every day thing. Kids tastes change as they mature. Continue to urge them to try different things. I was surprised when my 5 year old grandson told me he likes Kielbassi. I thought they only ate chicken nuggets. LOL

A really good way to get kids to eat certain foods is to allow them to help prepare the meal. They will tend to eat what THEY prepared.

Edited by: PACAROLSUE at: 4/5/2014 (18:47)
MUSICMOM27 Posts: 576
4/5/14 5:51 P

my first child is autistic and i did not fight about food. he did not like pancakes so he didn't eat them. period. he ate certain veggies and i was thrilled. beat no veggies at all. as he got older (he's now 21 and living with other missionaries in salt lake city, buying his own groceries and cooking his own meals) he tried more foods and became interested in cooking. the best we can do with our children is set a good example and teach good nutrition. in the end they'll choose their own anyway. why make it a battle?

as for adults, if the one not cooking doesn't like what's cooked then it's cereal or sandwich time, IMO. if that causes problems...sounds like some counseling might be in order.

4/5/14 4:41 P

RIET69- I'd never put tomato sauce, cups of spinach, green onions, onions, peppers, chicken, bacon and pepperoni on a pancake.

Maple syrup and butter yes but not veggies and meat.

Do people eat pancakes with veggies and meat in the Netherlands?

ERICREH Posts: 4,014
4/5/14 8:38 A

As a kid I had no choice but to eat whatever mom made for dinner, and I believe that was a good rule. I don't think I've ever had pancakes for dinner though.

OUTDOORGAL1 SparkPoints: (12,256)
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4/5/14 8:27 A

Pancakes for dinner seems way less healthy than eggs. I wouldn't want pancakes for dinner.

MSAMBER0910 Posts: 82
3/28/14 12:50 P

My bf hates seafood, we love it. When we make it he will make a burger. I don't make things kids hate, but as far as pancakes.....just make it a breakfast meal. ;)

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,689
3/27/14 7:00 P

I guess I have to disagree that kids should be allowed to prepare their own meals/dinners if they would prefer to eat something different. If a child has a real, true, dislike of a specific dish being served, then I think it's okay for them to have a peanut butter sandwich or a bowl of cereal, if it has been agreed upon in advance. But, parents are responsible for making sure their children eat balanced meals and, given a choice, many kids would choose to eat cereal (or peanut butter) every night for dinner. I don't think that sort of situation is okay.

I think that, the vast majority of the time, kids should be required to eat from what is prepared. As a general rule, I think that they should pick, out of what is cooked, what they want and the amount they want. Of course, they should be encouraged to eat vegetables that are prepared along with meals. If they refuse to eat something from what is cooked, then I think they should just wait until the next meal to eat. I wouldn't make them a special meal or let them make themselves something different as a general rule, with an exception if I knew I was making something that they truly hated. That's basically the way it was when I was growing up. Some nights, I would have milk for dinner because I didn't want to eat anything else on the table. But, I knew better than to think I was making myself something else or to think I could complain.

I've seen several kids who are allowed to make themselves something if they don't like what's being served and these kids refuse to eat what their parents cook and go for bowls of cereal instead, on a regular basis.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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3/27/14 6:49 P

If the kids would prepare their own meal, then fine yet if they don't then they have to eat what is served. This is exactly what would happen with your husband. He may want something different but he cooks it for himself.

REBECANOLA Posts: 3,285
3/27/14 5:36 P

In general, I say that everybody should have to eat the meal prepared save for allergies and genuine dislike. My mom would tweak meals for these things. My brother liked oatmeal with raisins, I didn't, so I'd get my oatmeal before the raisins went in. My brother is allergic to fish, so she'd make him a turkey burger while everyone else was having salmon. I liked cooked spinach, my brother liked raw, so my mom would set some aside for him as a salad (as adults now we both like both) When I became a vegetarian, my mom made sure there were a number of options for me to eat.

In this case, I guess I don't get why you're establishing a pancake night as if it's something that everybody wants when it's not. My boyfriend hates squash - all kinds. I love squash. There's no way that I'm going to make a squash casserole for dinner once a week and expect him to eat it. He's an adult and knows that he doesn't like it; I'm not going to force him to eat something he's tried and doesn't like. If a kid doesn't "like" something because she's never tried it, then that's a different story, but if someone really doesn't like something, child or not - why would you force him to eat it? I do think it's better and more consistent if everyone follows the same rules, but whoever's doing the cooking should be sensitive to people the food is being prepared for.

RIET69 SparkPoints: (47,087)
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3/27/14 9:37 A

I live in a household of adults, so this may be different for me than for a family with children. When it is my turn to cook dinner, I make something that people look forward to, that smells appetizing when they come home from work and that we enjoy eating together. I think one of the worst things I can think of is having a stressful meal.

As for pancakes at dinner: I grew up in the Netherlands where savory pancakes are still served in restaurants for dinner. Think pizza and you will have an idea of how it can be dinner.

TEAROSE22 SparkPoints: (30,671)
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3/26/14 8:21 P

I grew up in a home that was based on the whatever Mom cooked was it. I did not raise my children with that theory, however asked that any food be tried 3 children grew into eating well balanced table food with few exceptions.
I also don't believe anyone should be forced to eat, particularly when not hungry.
I grew up "in the Capt. Penny Clean Plate Club" days....could kick his butt now!!

MICHELLEXXXX SparkPoints: (11,644)
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3/26/14 7:40 P

Adults and children are different. Should my niece be allowed wine with dinner just because I am drinking it? No. Do I order off the kiddy menu at Denny's? No. Teaching that you are the authority figure in the house is a healthy establishment of order. You pay their bills, kiss their scraped knees, rock them to sleep, buy their clothing, etc. Do they help pay the bills, rent, car payments, insurance, etc? No, they are kids; let them be kids by teaching them that a working adult enjoys the fruits of his/her labor. Eat your eggs and rejoice in that you are teaching your children to respect their mother and father. they will learn more from your choice to respect yourself than from the errant lesson that parents and children are equals.

Edited by: MICHELLEXXXX at: 3/26/2014 (19:54)
DRS510 Posts: 2,219
3/26/14 6:50 P

No the rules for adults do not need to be the same.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (66,733)
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3/26/14 6:01 P

Pancakes alone do not a full, balanced meal make. I think that it is strange to serve a single (not terribly healthy) item and not allow anybody else to have additional items during the meal.

Why are you eating pancakes for DINNER? Yuck.

Not such a great food/eating example for the children.

EELPIE Posts: 2,700
3/26/14 5:47 P

The more I think about this...the maker of the Pancakes seems to have maybe some power issues going on? Or maybe they feel unappreciated? (he/she doesn't like anything I do).

Pancake person needs to ask - why are the pancakes being forced onto someone who does not like them?

And also - Pancake maker is not taking into account that the egg maker is making their life easier...less pancakes to make!!!

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 23,368
3/26/14 5:31 P

Sounds like you can avoid the argument by not having pancakes for dinner.
That simple!

They really aren't healthy for ANY member of the family...

And, if that is not an option, do not make foods that you KNOW people will absolutely NOT eat.

ROSSTECH215 Posts: 47
3/26/14 5:22 P

When I was a kid, I pretty much ate everything mom cooked, I wasn't picky, and it's always been tough for me to understand why people can be so extremely picky. My husband for example is so difficult to cook for because he doesn't like ANYTHING I like...well almost. However, if I want something in particular that I know he doesn't have a taste for, I will go out of my way to make something else for him. Same with kids. I feel if a child doesn't like something, there should be an alternative. Not EVERY NIGHT, but on the occasion that mom (or dad) feels like making something for everyone but that one person out of the bunch doesn't like, then have an alternative, balanced dish for them. Not only do you need to teach kids to try a variety of foods, but they should know it is OK to not like something as well. As adults we have all the choices, so we are preparing our kids for that. There needs to be balance between allowing a child to eat something else simply because they don't feel like eating what you made, and allowing a child another food option because they honestly don't like what you are preparing.

ANDILH Posts: 1,543
3/26/14 4:56 P

It's my opinion that if a person makes a meal knowing someone they are cooking for doesn't like what they are considering the main portion of the meal, that it's rude. Why not make that meal on a night the person who doesn't like them is working late, or out with friends? Or offer an "anything night" where people can prepare their own meals or eat leftovers?
In this specific instance, I rarely make just pancakes. For my own family I make sausage, and sometimes scrambled eggs. For the kids I nanny for I'll make a fruit salad, and usually some sort of baked egg with vegetables and possibly cheese. This way, there's something for everyone.
I feel pretty strongly about this actually since as a child, my dad and step-mom would make meals with cheese in them, knowing I'm lactose intolerant, but telling me that whatever they made is what's for dinner and if I don't like it too bad for me. Attempting to force a person to eat something they don't like or can't eat isn't going to make them like the meal or learn to tolerate it. It's going to make meal times an unnecessary battle field and build resentment.

MJEFFERSON23 SparkPoints: (32,691)
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3/26/14 4:49 P

I believe that adults have earned the right to make decisions.

GOALIEGRANDMA3 SparkPoints: (117,328)
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3/26/14 4:47 P

There is no w ay I could make my husband eat something he does not like. I wouldn't want to make my kids do it either, because I would not want to be forced to eat something I don't any meat at all.

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,689
3/26/14 3:34 P

I think that children should be treated like children and adults should be treated like adults. Meaning, there are always going to be (and rightly so) rules for children that adults do not have to follow.

As a society, we do not give the same rights and privileges to children as we do to adults. We have really good reasons for this. Children are supposed to do as they are told, should have a bedtime, cannot drink or smoke, cannot drive until they are a certain age, have specific rules about the age at which they can work (and the time, number of hours, and type of work that they are allowed to do). Your children are legally in your custody. You are responsible for them. As parents, you make rules for your children and there are, hopefully, consequences if they do not follow your rules. Rules and consequences for your husband sounds pretty strange and controlling right?

Having said all that, here are my 2 cents on children and food in general. As a parent, you should decide what to cook for your children and you should provide them with healthy, balanced, meals. On occasion, it's fine to make treats (like pancakes) for your kids. Your kids should eat them if they like them. No one should be forced to eat treats they don't like, right? But, I would offer other, healthy, options to go along with the pancakes and I would make a limited number of pancakes (e.g. two per person or something, depending on the size of the pancakes you make). Your children should be free to eat what they want and the amount they want (or to take their share or not, if you have made a limited amount of something) from the healthy meals that you've cooked. You should control the amount of treats that they get--meaning, if you make a cake, you teach them that it's okay to have a slice for desert, but not healthy to just eat cake for dinner or to eat a whole cake at a sitting.

Here are my 2 cents on your husband. I think that he should be free to make himself something (hopefully healthy so as to model good behavior for your children) if you make something he doesn't like. He's an adult, right? BUT, I don't think this sets the best example for the kids, for a variety of reasons (e.g. you two need to be seen to be together on things, you should both be modeling healthy eating and respect towards each other, etc.). A better compromise would be that the two of you, as the adults in the family, get together and made some general decisions about meals. Things along the lines of there being no more pancake night, but, rather, a breakfast-for-dinner night where pancakes are only part of the dinner and the rest of the dinner includes some healthy options (e.g. yogurt, eggs or maybe even scrambled eggs with veggies in them, fruit, whole wheat toast).

Edited to add: I'm assuming your husband is the one who does not like pancakes? If it's you who does not like pancakes, and you are the one cooking, I'm not sure why you wouldn't just make (or put out) some other options along with the pancakes you're making? I mean...I cannot imagine a situation where the person cooking would NOT be the one who made the decision to JUST cook pancakes and not pancakes, eggs, fruit and veggies? If your husband has somehow decided that X night is pancake night and that YOU are cooking pancakes and that ONLY pancakes will be cooked (and you cannot put out other, healthy, options such as eggs to go with dinner) and everyone has to eat pancakes...well...he should probably be sent straight to bed without his pancake supper.
Seriously, though, if that's the case, you guys have some talking to do, I think.

Also, it's not being a short-order cook if you set out a meal that consists of a few things (3-5, depending if you include milk in the total # of things) and not just a single thing. That's just a normal part of making dinner, IMO.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 3/26/2014 (16:33)
FAITHP44 Posts: 7,930
3/26/14 2:37 P

I think that not liking pancakes is somewhat different to not liking any vegetables and it's an unimportant thing to leave out of the diet.
Having been force fed canned spaghetti when I was 17, I feel a certain sympathy for people who are forced to eat something they really can't stomach if they are not normally a fussy eater.
I think I would go for a rule that if somebody has tried something on 3 separate occasions and really can't eat it they can be allowed to dislike it - but I'd want to put a limit on that. Trouble us, I've seen the other extreme of that - including a 5 year old boy who would only eat chocolate and had to be applauded when he managed to eat a chocolate spread sandwich as he had managed to add white bread to his diet!! That's why I'd want to limit the number of things that someone is allowed to 'dislike'.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
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3/26/14 11:25 A

I'm with the "eat what is offered or make something yourself, regardless of age" camp. If your kids are older than 5, they are old enough to pour a bowl of cereal themselves or heat leftovers in the microwave under supervision.

My parents had the rule where I had to try 5 bites of a new food, but if I didn't like it I could make something else myself. By the time I was 12, I was in the dinner duty rotation too so each of us was responsible for dinner two nights a week and Sunday was the long-standing tradition of dinner at the grandparents.

Edited by: LEC358 at: 3/26/2014 (11:26)
EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
3/26/14 11:22 A

Only your family can decide on the house rules but just giving an opinion on your question, I think everyone should follow the same rule.

Kids are people, too, and no one (opinion) should be forced to eat food they don't like.

So to me, everyone having the opt out of making themselves eggs or whatever if they don't eat what mom cooks is a great compromise.

Otherwise, I'd personally say everyone who doesn't eat what mom cooks goes hungry.

LOUNMOUN Posts: 1,334
3/26/14 11:15 A

"Should everyone, including the adults, have to eat whatever is prepared, no matter if they like it or not?"

"Or should an adult who doesn't like the meal that is prepared be allowed to make themselves something different without criticism? "

My view point is that anyone gets to make themselves different food if they don't like what is for dinner- even kids. They have to be polite about it. They don't get to whine or make extra demands of the cook. The cook doesn't need to take it personally.
Even a child is capable of getting a bowl of cereal or making a sandwich for themselves. If the person is capable and willing to cook for themselves then I don't see the big deal if they choose to do so.

If you know one person really doesn't like something, then you might just plan the meal to include some simple food that they do like and they can just eat that part.
Does everyone else hate eggs? It isn't unusual to have both pancakes and eggs at one meal. Perhaps adult #1 could cook the pancakes for everyone while adult #2 makes everyone eggs.

RIET69 SparkPoints: (47,087)
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3/26/14 9:41 A

I think it is not fair that some have a choice and some don't. I also know all is not fair in this world. I try to cook things everyone likes and can eat. I compromise because someone can't eat mushrooms, so I leave them out, though I love them.and love cooking with them. When something is not someone's favorite meal but others like it, I make it once in a while and everyone eats it.

NIRERIN Posts: 14,050
3/26/14 9:15 A

i say if the adult can make themselves eggs then the children should have the option to make themselves something else if they don't like what's for dinner. or else everybody should have to eat the meal that they don't like.
i also think that where pancakes fall on the like/dislike scale and pickiness should factor in. in other words, if pancakes are the one food that the person loathes, i mean, not even a little bit of like in there, then it's pretty jerky to have pancake night with the rule being you have to eat it. pancake breakfasts or pancakes out should be there rule so that that odd person can get something they like. the other alternate would be an asterisk that if the one [yes, one, not one a day] food you really hate is the dinner option then you can make your own and go around the one dinner rule. but again, that should be a four food long list for your whole family. pickiness is the second part of that. trying to force really picky eaters to eat food they don't like as a meal is counterproductive, though making them try a bite or two is good for adjusting tastebuds.
when i was growing up there was one meal my mom loved that i absolutely wouldn't touch. as far back as i can remember she let me make mac and cheese on that night. for everything else, i had to at least try it. and for the things that i didn't like as much [swiss steak], she made sure that the sides were things that i liked [mashed potatoes and peas and carrots]. so the idea that you would be basing a must-eat family meal on something so controversial seems strange to me. making it breakfast for dinner sounds like a very easy option that would satisfy everyone for no extra work other than cracking an extra egg or two for anyone that wanted one.

SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (9,269)
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3/26/14 8:55 A

I would not force even children to eat something they "hate" though, with children there are ways to encourage and set examples so they "learn to like" far more foods. Recently there was a thread about "forcing" kids to eat veggies. I'm against using the word force here but do believe it can be encouraged. This worked with my own kids and is working with my grandkids. Even so, as they mature and if it became clear one (whether adult or child) hated something like pancakes, something simple would be substituted like a PBJ sandwich, or maybe grilled cheese sandwich, or cereal such as oatmeal...yes even for dinner, especially for a kid who does not like the main course being served. I can't imagine my spouse expecting me to eat what was cooked even though I don't like it (or it goes against my healthy eating routine) and though there are times when I do believe different rules are appropriate for the adults and kids in the house, in this case, I think the adults should set an example. I think it would be wrong for the adults to refuse to eat what is cooked because they "don't like it" but force the kids to eat it, whether they like it or not.

3/26/14 8:48 A

What I see as the real issue is a case of our biggest prejudice: ageism. It's bigger than sexism, racism, or any other prejudice. It isn't talked about much, yet if you look, you'll see it everywhere. Children and "the elderly" are treated much differently than "adults". This is a huge topic, one you might want to consider.

In light of this, if you set a rule for children, isn't it really just a training ground for adulthood? (Such as going to sleep at a reasonable time to be ready for school, cleaning your room, etc.) We're all hypocrites, it's true - rules are only made after something is done that we don't want done, so you can pretty much count on that a rule will be broken sometimes. Nonetheless, as parents, children will tend toward mimicking us more than following a rule that we make for them that they see we ourselves do not follow.

Seems you need to discuss this more and come to some sort of agreement that works for both of you. If you're committed to doing what's best both for your kids and for each other, than a solution you both feel good about (meaning really feel good about as opposed to "compromising") WILL arise with enough loving communication.

ALLYALLYT Posts: 9,467
3/26/14 1:47 A

part of the fun of being an adult-eat what you want. make yourself what you like and clean up 100% of your mess. when the kids grow up-they get the same choice until then tough stuff

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (493,631)
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3/26/14 12:01 A

Not only with food, but I have always felt that we are the models for our children. Children look to us as guides, so we need to follow the rules that we set in our households.

CHOCOLATELEA SparkPoints: (4,603)
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3/25/14 10:55 P

Eat what's on your plate is something that helped me gain weight (yay parenting). If it's a regular thing, make half as many pancakes and add eggs to the menu. Scrambled takes like five minutes. If it turns out everyone leaps on the eggs, make eggs and toast for dinner instead of pancakes. Much quicker. :)

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
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3/25/14 8:50 P

I like Miss Ruth's idea of a compromise so that the rules are followed. Pancake night could be Breakfast for dinner night. That way if anyone wanted an egg they could have one or you could have some bacon with the pancakes or just pancakes.

I also agree that just pancakes for dinner would not work well for me. Too many calories, too many carbs and I'd blow my calorie limit and be hungry later.

3/25/14 8:38 P

I really try and make meals everybody likes but if someone is being picky then it's make your own for sure.

That said, pancakes are dessert.

TCOOLEY412 Posts: 100
3/25/14 8:32 P

I am not a short order cook either but I do make modifications to what I cook for my one who is picky. Meaning, he doesn't like sauces so I take his chicken out of the pan before I add the sauce. He is not a fan of eggs when we are having breakfast for dinner, I cook a meat (bacon or sausage) he likes and biscuits and he has that with fruit. When we have some thing he doesn't like that I cannot modify I have always given the option of PB&J or warm leftovers which he has had to do himself since he was about 10 yrs. old.

I am the adult picky eater. I can say for certain if my DH ever told me I HAD to eat something that I did not like it would be a problem.

With my kids I have decided that some things are not worth battling. Forcing food was just a battle I decided not to fight.

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
3/25/14 8:19 P

I would not appreciate being forced to eat pancakes for dinner. I don't care much for them, they are WAY too many calories for what you get, and pancakes are one of those foods that leaves me hungry an hour later looking for something else, something more - they are antipathy to my weight-loss goals.

So Heck NO I am not going to eat pancakes. End of. Modelling behavior for children hmmmmmm well I think it is a *good* model to say "you eat what is put before you, OR make something for yourself." Those who don't want pancakes, can make themselves a peanut butter and jam sandwich. Or some scrambled eggs.

FITMOM69 SparkPoints: (2,096)
Fitness Minutes: (1,635)
Posts: 107
3/25/14 7:58 P

I make meals my entire family likes maybe time to time something is included such as a side dish that's not liked and in that case I make a different side dish such as someone doesn't like asparagus, so they will have broccoli.

I'm able to make meals they like because I know what they like, consult about it so we don't have this problem, but time to time even if you make what they like usually someone will still just not be in the mood for a particular dish. And in that case, if their big enough to make their own food I say cook it themselves or as a family we prepare two different meals or we can just make it sandwich and a salad night and everyone can chose their own meat/cheeses and condiments.

. I'm not with having anyone eat something they don't like or hate, but at the same time I know food needs to last a certain amount of time as to not have everything cooked at once.

But I wouldn't want pancakes for a meal I do like eggs but I'd want sausage to, what to do.

My friends mother used to always cook two or three different types of meals for her family of 5, My grandmother would cook for her family of 10 you heard me family of 10 and if they didn't like what she cooked then they would just be hungry if they didn't eat what she prepared, my cousin has a family of 10 also and what they do varies to eating the same food to completely eating something different, but they eat frozen meals, fast food and home cooked meals.

I say your house your rules, but if you and your husband don't follow the same rules you'll need to sit down and discuss this.

Hope I helped :o)

MISSRUTH Posts: 4,139
3/25/14 7:30 P

idk.... if the adults don't follow the same rules.... it's sort of like saying, "do what I say, not what I do". Which would be setting a bad example. I'm an adult and if I feel like eating cold leftover (insert whatever here) for dinner, using my bare hands while standing there leaning over the kitchen sink, I could do it. But I never would've done so when my kids were still growing up. I just had a hard time insisting they do something, when *I* wasn't going to follow the same rule.

Maybe eliminate "pancake day" for supper, and make it "pancake day" at lunchtime-- since you allow for different choices then. Or, make it "pancakes AND eggs & toast day" and whoever (kids included) can choose either. When I was growing up, it was "breakfast for dinner day" and included pancakes or toast, eggs, bacon or fried baloney (dad liked the fried baloney and was the only one who ate it, but it was part of the choices so ... whatever).

EELPIE Posts: 2,700
3/25/14 7:24 P

I'm with the make eggs themselves person.

No one should be forced to eat food they simply don't like. And the fact that that person makes his/her own food is big bonus points.

Do the kids hate pancakes?

If this is a one time thing, then what is the big deal? Is this only on pancake night, or all the time? Are the children forced to eat food they hate? it "hate" or "dislike" of the pancakes.

If the kids question it - you simply say "X gets that because X hates pancakes (or X gets sick on pancakes), just like we would never force you to eat food you hated".

If, for some reason the children complained.....I'd resort to the tried and true response of "Cause I said so, that's why".

Edited by: EELPIE at: 3/25/2014 (19:25)
TRIPLEMWF Posts: 906
3/25/14 6:54 P

The dinner rule at our house for the kids is that you eat whatever is for dinner, Mom is not a short order cook. I will make different things for lunch, but not for dinner.

Tonight was Pancake night. Of MH and I, one of us does not like pancakes, so whenever this is the meal, the one who doesn't like pancakes makes themselves eggs.

Every single time we have an argument. One of us believes that the adults should follow the same rules as the kids and must eat whatever is for dinner, whether they like it or not. The other of us believes that as adults, we can eat whatever we want and don't have to follow the same "rules" as the children.

Who is right? Should everyone, including the adults, have to eat whatever is prepared, no matter if they like it or not? Or should an adult who doesn't like the meal that is prepared be allowed to make themselves something different without criticism?

Thanks in advance for your input.

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