Sure..a friend (for me) is a person who you accept for who they are. My opinion of things are not set in gold and neither are theirs. I would not hang w/ them because we most likely could not agree on what to do..but when I need a good argument I would be a calling !!
I cannot. You are stuck with relatives, but friends are a matter of choice. I choose to surround myself with positive, fun, successful people who make me feel good about myself and add to my life. Life is hard enough without filling it with losers. If you lay down with dogs, you will get fleas. That's my motto.
Still an interesting question when you read the topic line and really think about it not in terms of having things in common or admiring people or whether you'd say hello or talk to them or be civil. The question is only: "Can you be friends with someone you don't respect?"
Thinking about it, I don't have ANY friends I don't respect. There must be a reason for that, so no, I couldn't be friends with someone I don't respect, at least in some respect.
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Guess it would depend on the person in question and the situation. If I was alone with this person on a raft in the middle of the ocean and we were both struggling for our lives, could we forego the respect issue and work together? I would say, I think so. If we were in a foreign ono-English speaking country and we were the only English speaking people, would I do activities with them on weekends? Most likely. If they were fun to be around, with a positive personality and willing to support my journey to better health, would I hang around with them, most likely. So if I was willing to hangout with them on weekends, would they be a friend? Guess it all depends on your definition of friend.
No. I would not use the term friend for someone like that. I am friends with people who have different religious or political views but not with someone whose views/actions I do not respect or find abhorrent. I might be polite and friendly when I see them but definitely not consider them an actual friend.
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no really friends
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I have several friends and relatives who have different politics views than I do. Take my cousin, whom I love dearly, she would be considered a right wing conservative. I would be considered a left wing liberal. Yes, we've gotten into some pretty heated arguments over our differences in religion as well as politics. Guess what ? We still did things together.
My former boss was also extremely conservative. I adored her !! Another close friend of mine, ditto, conservative. we disagreed on politics regularly. It's funny. My conservative friends don't consider me wrong, they merely consider me... misguided. LOL !
While we may disagree on politics or religion, there were plenty of other things we did like to talk about. So, yes, this left wing commie has lots of right wing friends and family members whom I love and respect.
Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neill respected each other, they found common ground. So why can't today's politicians and adherents be like that ? Why does it have to be my way or the highway ? I'm going to say a dirty word now, why can't people learn to COMPROMISE ?
If I don't respect someone, it's not because of their political or religious beliefs. If I don't respect someone personally, it's because of other issues.
Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 8/17/2013 (16:28)
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just saying hi would be ok, confining or be extremely friendly, no.
People who limit restrict their friendships to people who's political and religious beliefs mirror their own, limit themselves to a very small world. There are amazing, good people out there who just come from different cultures, religions, social orientation, and political ideologies. If there is a problem discussing certain topics (like religion and politics) then don't discuss them.
If one can only relate to people of their own mindset, I wonder if they feel threatened by the fact that someone else thinks differently.
but I'm biased...I'm the result of a multi-cultural, inter-denominational family
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Just my point-of-view here... Yes, we could be friends & hike & stuff together. We just would agree to disagree on certain issues (political, whatever...). We'd have to stay away from certain conversations. If they became overly vocal then I would avoid them.
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I could be civil, but it would be near impossible to be friends.
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I will be hospitable, but I don't have to be friends. I don't have time.
I like a definition of "friend" (the noun) I found online: A person whom one knows and with whom has a bond of affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
I'd carry that further and say we can also be friends with family members or those we have other kinds of relations with, which is all separate from what friendship means.
I'd also carry my definition further to include that the bond can be not limited to affection but include love, although not necessarily.
Nowhere in my definition do I have to admire or respect my friend, although as it turns out I have friends I do admire and respect.
In fact, as I was trying to say in my earlier post lol, I have had nonfriendships with people I thought were friends but it was only because I thought I respected or admired what I thought they were, or even what they really were.
This is a very good discussion topic.
Edited by: EMPRESSAMQ at: 8/17/2013 (13:20)
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heavens NO!!!!!!!!!! i have a roommate whom i dont respect and i cant even bring myself to speak to him
Yes I can be friends with someone who has parts of her personality that I don't respect. I too am learning and making mistakes as I go. Love has to be there for it to work. That is the bottom line for me
Absolutely. A friend is a friend. It is a whole other thing to me than whether I respect their beliefs or anything else about them.
It is important to me, in fact, to remember that I have often in the past mistaken certain things I synched with as far as personality or similar characteristics or beliefs and interests for friendship and been disappointed to find that some "friends" weren't really friends and what I experienced with them wasn't friendship.
But I've learned to tell the difference.
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I couldn't consider them a friend, just a casual aquatint. A friend is someone that you enjoy being with because you respect them for who they are.
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Is the issue that you don't respect their beliefs and views or that you don't respect the person? To me respect is based on character and integrity rather than beliefs. Of course if the person is forever pushing their beliefs on you that can be a problem. Or if, for instance, they profess to be a Christian or adhere to another religion and you know they regularly live differently from what they profess - then there is an issue with the person's integrity. On balance I would say that if you enjoy the other person's company you can still be friends.
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Interesting answers. I'm going to break the mold. I don't choose to be judge and jury for others. If all my friends had to be like me the world would be a lonely place. There are definitely things that cross the line. With the exception of those the answer's yes.
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No I could not but I can call them "some one I know".
My question is not going to affect anything; I'm just curious what other people think. Here is my question:
Can you consider someone a friend (more than an acquaintance but not a close friend that you'd go do things with on the weekends) whom you don't respect? A person's political and religious views form who the person really is and if you don't respect any of those views, can you consider them a friend?
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