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JSTBECUZ99 Posts: 81
11/29/12 3:04 P

I can relate to how you feel. It is very difficult to stay motivated when you are in a relationship where the other person is not on the same plan as you. It is also not always feasible to make separate meals for each meal. One suggestion I have for you is to check out the hungry girl website. She has some great tips and tricks for overhauling the traditional comfort food so much that you can lose the weight and the other members of your family can feel like they are still getting the same food they always did. She was on Dr. Oz recently and discussed meal expanders such as adding shredded zucchini to your baked goods, make a boxed cake mix using only the cake mix and an unsweetend flavored seltzer, or adding portobello mushrooms to a meatloaf to reduce calories.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (244,426)
Fitness Minutes: (41,134)
Posts: 26,642
11/27/12 4:24 P

Weighing all of your food and using the Nutrition Tracker for EVERYTHING will help you identify your problem areas. It is quite likely that you will need to increase your protein and complex carbs, from whole-grains, etc.

It is suggested that you use baby steps methods - with exercise and with nutrition. You might even find that if you make little changes over a period of time, your husband will be taken part-way on this journey without his knowledge, even :-)

Unfortunately, the only person who can do this is you. You have all the tools on SP to do it - it doesn't cost you anything, either. I suggest that apart form the Nutrition Tracker, read the articles on Nutrition, Fitness and Motivation in the Healthy Lifestyle section, and read the Success Stories in the Drop-down menu in the Community section of the toolbar. I am sure that you will find plenty to inspire you more, and help you to stay on track.

Remember the baby steps!! IF you have a lot of calories to drop, do them using the baby steps method too, otherwise you could end up suffering from nausea and/or light-headedness. I can tell you from experience, NEITHER is pleasant :-(

Ensure that you remain active on the message boards because it is truly amazing how much support you can get via that method - AND makes loads of friends in the process.

Take care,

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 11/27/2012 (16:25)
BARB0863 SparkPoints: (10,555)
Fitness Minutes: (3,778)
Posts: 108
11/27/12 1:25 P


A few things I always tell myself; this is a lifestyle change - not a diet, I am doing this for the most important person - me, I decide what I eat - whether good or not so good, I can eat my favorite foods - just a little bit differently.

This being a lifestyle change is a mental choice, once I got it in my mind that this is a permanent change I'm making the rest just got easier. Doing this for me not someone else made me accountable to myself only. Deciding what I eat, somedays I don't make the best choices and that's ok as long as I don't let it get out of hand. Eating my favorite foods differently, this one takes some thought and sometimes research.

I love McDonald's french fries (even though they aren't "healthy"). I used to get a 10 piece nuggets or Big Mac, large fries and large Powerade. Now I get a McDouble with only cheese (and eat only the meat and cheese), small fries and water. I told myself that I didn't need the sugar in the Powerade and that a small order of fries would taste just as good as the large. I also ask for fresh fries if they are cold or if it looks like they have a lot ready to go.

It is the small changes that we make that add up over time. As for exercise, I take a walk around the block at home. The first time I did it took me 20 minutes for less than half a mile, now I've mapped my neighborhood routes and can get it a mile for the same 20 minutes. I'm not out to train for any kind of race, just out for a nice walk. I have an mp3 player that I loaded some of my favorite music on. When I first started out I just listened to my songs in order, now I skip the ones that have a slower beat so I can keep my pace up.

It does take some effort to figure out what will work for you. Start with baby steps and make changes that don't feel like changes (I've found those are the easiest to stick with). Once you get going there will be no stopping you and who knows maybe once your husband starts seeing changes without any big sacrifice he may decide he wants to join you on your journey.

emoticon emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (196,000)
Fitness Minutes: (292,438)
Posts: 26,976
11/27/12 12:00 P


I'm going to give you some advice that I give to all new members of Spark People and it's this,"don't look at weight loss or good health with an all or nothing mentality." If the only healthy thing you were to do for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. Thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body. Start with some simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated.

Example, if you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not used to regular exercise, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals. Then you set new ones. And that's how good health starts. It's not "all or nothing". It's all about making a few simple changes.

It would be great if your hubby would join you in your quest for a healthier lifestyle, but you can't force him even though your intentions are good. He's got to do this for his own reasons, not yours. So, you'll need to be patient.

For now, why not start with setting a few simple goals. And you don't have to do a lot to become active. You don't even need a gym membership. Take a daily walk. There are members who will tell you how they lost 100+ pounds just by walking and watching what they ate. There are plenty of things you can do at home to exercise. You can go to the library and borrow DVDs. You can try some of the online video workouts posted in the fitness section. Coach Nicole has a bunch of short workouts you can do. You can take a daily walk. There's lots more, but start with the simple stuff first.

Be patient with yourself and your body. If you need support, post in the forums or write a blog. the SP community will support you if you need support.

ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (192,145)
Fitness Minutes: (187,150)
Posts: 15,783
11/27/12 11:49 A

If you want it bad enough, you'll ditch the excuses, and do what needs to be done. And if you don't know what needs to be done, this website has all the information you need.

MELBLUE_EYES73 Posts: 13
11/27/12 10:57 A

I honestly feel lost. And I feel like I've tried everything. I need guidance. I don't want to use excuses, I mean it's up to me to fix my problem and not anyone else's responsibility to coddle me, however, I'd appreciate some support. Just not really getting it. I'm 39 and have battled my weight for years. I lost 40 pounds after my first divorce (have been twice) and felt great, but it wasn't a healthy loss. I took up smoking and drank alot and rarely ate, and I partied too much. Kind of went wild and as good as I looked, I wasn't remotely healthy. The high lasted a bit but I ended up falling apart and marrying again too quickly. I'm now married a third time, but this time for all the right reasons. We are both overweight, but my husband has decided not to try to lose weight. He's picky, doesn't feel like depriving himself of what he enjoys, and hates exercise. Says he's NOT going to. SO that kind of leaves me alone in this. I'm not GROSSLY overweight. I could stand to lose 20 or 30. I'd prefer 50. I'm right at 5'8" and 200 lbs. I wear a size 14-16 depending on brand, and just want to feel better in my own skin. It's just harder when you have no one to do it with. My husband thinks I'm perfect as is. I don't. I have to NEED and the WANT TO, but the will power is hard to maaintain. I'm tired of being hungry. I need to figure out the better foods to eat that will fill me up and not feel deprived of things I enjoy. I can go walking, but alone? Guess I can get some earbuds and listen to music. Thought of joining Weight Watchers.....did it online and couldn't figure out what I needed to eat. Can't afford a gym. Ok, I can, but don't like going without a workout buddy. Used to have one and it was alot more fun. Enough sob story. Any suggestions for someone who just wants to lose some excess weight?

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