Ugh what a miserable day ive had today. My big brother and best friend passed away at the end of September. He was 30 years old. He was the biggest kid you would ever meet and had the biggest heart, he was also my 5 year olds best friend in the world, they saw eachother every single day. His death was sudden and in his sleep (asthma attack that did not wake him). We were all in shock. Im a photographer and Sept-Dec is my busiest season so I made sure I was booked every single day so I didnt have a moment to think. Here it is February and its finally hitting me - little by little that he really is gone (physically). This week has been full of anxiety about it with me. Today while on the elliptical doing my cardio I kept pushing harder and harder to get out my frustration and just broke down sobbing but I kept pushing hoping to release some pressure, heartache, anything. Pretty sure you burn more calories if you are sobbing while on the elliptical. or at least I tell myself that! Ugh.
One good thing - I tend to "Eat" away my feelings (hence why im obese) and I must say that I haven't eaten one thing this week to "comfort" me and that is HUGE on my half.