REBECANOLA - I never had extended family birthday parties after my first as a kid either so this is also foreign to me. At what age do people stop having parties for their kids anyway? My DD is 15 and we stopped having family parties for her this year. My nephew spent most of the party tucked in the corner talking to his girlfriend.
SPARKGIRL- DH is estranged from his dad and he doesn't come to the party on Father's Day. We always get DH's mom a few small perennials and say Happy Mother's Day but that's it.
I quite like the different perspectives so thank you everyone.
Edited by: JUSTEATREALFOOD at: 5/13/2014 (07:44)
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I don't really understand your predicament. I'm pretty sure I didn't have a birthday party with extended family members after my 1st birthday, so this concept of a "family birthday party" is pretty foreign to me. After I turned 1, it was just friends and such. I've never even been to one of my younger nieces/nephews birthday parties - granted I've had the pleasure of living miles and miles away and I have a huge family. In my boyfriend's smaller family, they'll just celebrate people's birthdays as part of the closest holiday get together, but it's not a dedicated birthday party. I may be desensitized because I have a big family and as such we keep our expectations low, but you are not obligated to go to these parties if you'd rather spend these holidays doing something different (I, for one, find the whole situation odd). If the family won't budge on the party since they like their tradition and you like spending time with your niece and nephew, take them out the weekend before and do something special with them.
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DD3 birthday is in mid June and we have celebrated it along with Father's Day a few times. Because of work schedules we are limited to having family celebrations on weekends and it can be hard to find a time we can all get together. Some years we will celebrate her birthday one weekend and Father's day the next but that is not always possible. This year I think her birthday is the day before Father's Day so we will celebrate them together. It does not seem to be an issue for them or for anyone else in the family.
We also combine birthday celebrations for the same reason. My birthday is celebrated with DD3's boyfriend's birthday and DD1 and her boyfriend's birthday's are celebrated on the same day.
5/12/14 9:28 P
So the family is hosting 2 parties instead of 4 in May and June. I'd go with the families, hosting is expensive and a lot of work and I'm sure most of the family would like to get together 2 times in 2 months vs 4 times in 2 months.
If there is something else you would rather do, feel free to decline.
I don't think anyone should tell a family when they should have their kids bday parties.
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5/12/14 9:04 P
Honestly I can see the frustration of the OP. We have some similar situations going on in my family. Do you think they have the parties on those days in order to get more presents or to make sure everyone comes? Do the kids even like celebrating on those days? As a kid everyone always wanted to combine my birthday with Christmas because it was easier for them. I hated it. It always bothered me that I felt like I wasn't important enough for my own celebration even though both my siblings were celebrated that way. As an adult, if the kids want to celebrate on a day when everyone is going to be together anyway, and they don't expect much extra, I'd probably let it go. It might be just easier to keep the peace in the family. If you don't enjoy celebrating it that way, make plans the day before or after with the person you'd like to honor and then don't attend the party on the actual day.
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If it were me, I really wouldn't care, as long as the family is together.
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Are you having to attend two different family events in one day? That could get tiring - kind of like having two Thanksgiving dinners.
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5/12/14 12:40 P
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In my family, we celebrate our grandparents' wedding anniversary on the same day as Thanksgiving. They don't want the fuss of a separate celebration. We've been celebrating their anniversary and Thanksgiving this way for years. Along with the pumpkin pie and sugar cookies is a big ol' Happy Anniversary cake.
My personal opinion ? The kids are still young, let them enjoy their birthday parties this way. pretty soon, they aren't going to want to have parties with their families. as they get older, they are going to want to do their own thing.
At some point, we all stopped having "birthdays". LOL !!!
Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 5/12/2014 (12:41)
5/12/14 12:16 P
I think that the kids can have their party whenever they want! Also, if it works for them, that is exactly how it should be.
I would guess that the use the weekend closest to their birthdate, and/or that it is easier to combine two family events than to have two separate ones.
If that does not work into your schedule, so be it. Just send your regrets - no need to get frustrated.
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I don't think it is a big deal. As someone with a June birthday, I know it can be hard to pick a day to celebrate that month that there isn't a conflict with something else.
It sounds like it is a tradition that their family likes. It is their birthday/mother's day/father's day celebration and they've been doing it that way for 13-16 years. It might make others pretty happy to be able to condense celebrating as a family all in one day if there are a lot of obligations in May and June. (graduations, birthdays, weddings, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Father's Day, vacationing, sports events, etc)
I think they can have the party whenever works for their family. You can decline to attend if you have other things to do that day. Don't get frustrated.
Could you say why you'd prefer their birthday celebrations be held on another day? Is it because you'd like to have the family just focus on Moms for Mother's Day and Dads on Fathers Day? Is there a conflicting event that would make it better for another day?
Here's what I would do if it were me; I'd plan an event for my Mom on Mother's Day separate from any other event. When I'm done celebrating with my mom then I'd make it to another event if I could. BUT! If my mom wanted to attend the other event rather than go with me to celebrate Mothers Day then I'd oblige and take her to it.
I currently have a similar situation going on in my life but just a bit different. I'll be posting it later.
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