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INTUITIVE1 Posts: 28
7/19/13 8:33 A

Kiwi - Yes I've been in therapy for PTSD for 3 years. Managing rage and anger seems to be the issue now. I notice that happens when ever I diet. Or it's increased. I tend to take it out on myself by beating myself with a good binge or other behavior. Trying to "feel" the feelings and not act them out destructively is really hard. I never want to hurt another so it's inwards I turn..but still..It's grief on some level - it's always I feel like if I can get to the crying part and have a really good cry then I usually feel a ton better.

Right now I'm all heated feeling (I feel really angry) and I'm trying to live in that feeling. It's tough. I want to take action, right the wrongs - but my frustration is about many things and it's all stuff that just takes time and patience. Just writing this to you feels better. I do journal, but find it's nice to be heard as well.

Thank you for your kindness and I'm very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine.

Peace and love to you.


SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (243,801)
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7/15/13 7:33 P

Are you having help for your anger/grief issues? As someone who is currently having counseling for increased depression brought on by my husband's untimely death at Xmas time, I can say from experience that it is very helpful! If you aren't getting any help, then talking with your Dr would be good place to start. He/she will be able to refer you to someone.

Take care,
Kris xxxx

INTUITIVE1 Posts: 28
7/15/13 10:41 A

Thank you... These are great suggestions. I'm working it. It's not a perfect process. Learning how to handle anger seems to be the next step as I sure eat/binge to not feel it or stuff it down or not express it. So trying to manage anger at situations and alson anger that's been stuffed for a long time.. It's some work.

Grief at losing my ex whom remarried recently. Grief at losing my father and his family. Dealing with dating rejections.. it's a lot. One would rather eat or watch tv or just not deal with it. But I'm dealing and healing.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (243,801)
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7/11/13 1:18 A

It sounds like you are getting a handle on the healthy lifestyle thing. A LOT of people find that reducing their carbs big-time ends up causing them to binge. The thing is, our body NEEDS carbs - they are the baddie. It's just that they don't need tons of carbs, NOR the processed ones.

Anyway, this is all about trial and error. I doubt anyone on SP hit the jackpot the first time :-)


CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
7/10/13 8:27 P

Suggestion: become a member of the 'living binge free team'. Many interesting posts and good support there.

EXCELDREAM SparkPoints: (85,750)
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Posts: 160
7/10/13 12:06 P

INTUITIVE1 - It looks like you have everything under control and have many helpful suggestions here, but I'd like to add a comment on binging. I am the binge queen and wouldn't even think of listing some of the weird foods I've put together as I've rampaged thru the kitchen. But in the three months I've been following SparkPeople, I haven't had the least inclination to binge. Not even been tempted. It's not an emotional issue. It's not that I'm stronger or more disciplined. It's that I'm meeting my nutritional needs. I agree completely with LILLIPUTIANNA. Your body needs certain nutrients to survive. Your body and mind aren't in a battle against each other. They both have information needed to keep you alive and healthy. Listen to them both. Now that I see you were trying to cut out carbs, it all makes perfectly good sense. Follow the SparkPeople guidelines, and I think your binge days will become less frequent and severe. I hope so anyway. I know this doesn't address PMS, but don't add an unnecessary obstacle to feeling good. When you are dealing with issues like PMS, you need to be at peak performance. You need the right fuel for that. Best of luck and I hope you get to feeling less stressed soon.

INTUITIVE1 Posts: 28
7/10/13 11:08 A

So here's what happened when I started this train...

I was up to over 1200 calories before the day was 1/2 over.

The next day I said I was only up to 600 at that point (did not clarify this was after breakfast). I usually eat between 1500 and 1800 calories a day. but being up above a 1000 at breakfast because I was binging and kept binging...kind of freaked me out.

I do not only eat 1200 calories or 600 calories.. but my lack of information lead to some misinterpretation.

Thank you all for the support...I am doing better and the support has helped. Trying to survive a tired day today with out binging but doing better. I notice once you can get past a few days with out binging and instead are feeling your feelings it gets easier and easier to feel your feelings vs. binge. So that's where I am. :)

I was also trying at the time of this origional post to give up carbs and follow a restrictive diet not on here that claimed you could lose 18lbs in two weeks. Thinking less weight faster would make my joints hurt less. Bad idea. Yes you can but you can't eat all the stuff you love. I was infact setting myself up repeatedly for a binge. So I Stopped that and just following the program here, and letting myself have what I want to eat but tracking as well. No more binges.. and it's all much better.

Change is such a process. :) Patience...that's a main thing.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (243,801)
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7/4/13 6:09 P

I took it that *so far* in the day she was up to 600 cal's (as opposed to lots more) and was aiming for 1200. I don't know what time she posted it - earlier in the day gives plenty of room for eating more.


TRYINGHARD54 Posts: 5,292
7/4/13 7:23 A

I also think you need to be eating more then 1200 calories . go for 1500 or even 1800
I know how hard it is to deal with binges. I struggle with that a lot.. but, you can do this..
one day at a time.

7/3/13 2:48 P eat 600 in a day and you're not up to 1200?

Okay, I'm not judging...BUT 1200 is the absolute minimum a person should eat in a day. Your binges are not emotionally driven. They are your body telling you that you are starving to death.
Your body wants to eat 6 chocolate bars, because it's trying to save your life.

You need to remember that all emotions are biological. Everything in your body is biological. Your brain and mind are not separate things. Your binges, your feelings, your "addictions" are biologically generated. That's why we take pills for emotional/psychological disorders...because our bodies use those chemicals to fix our thoughts.

Is your therapist aware of how little you are eating?

WADINGMOOSE Posts: 1,048
7/3/13 1:16 P

Been there. Many, many times. Everyone has excellent advice. So I'm just going to add a couple of things.

When I get stressed and/or overwhelmed at work I find it hard to focus and get things done. Mainly because my focus shifts to food and feeling like Cinderella. emoticon Now, when I see that happening, I try to go for a walk. It might just be a 5 minute walk down the street and back, but it gives me a break and a chance to think about how get the work done. I feel better when I can create a plan and then go back to my desk and be productive.

Another thing I've found really helpful is to eat snacks through the day. I try to eat every 2-3ish hours. That staves off the ridiculous hunger and helps me make smarter decisions without my empty stomach screaming at me for more food.

And while it may seem that all is lost because you already binged today, it isn't. You recognize what happened and you can change the rest of your day for the better. Don't beat yourself up. We've all done it. Just move forward.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (243,801)
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7/2/13 7:40 P

Because your day starts so early and ends so late, it MIGHT be that you actually DO need to eat a little more. Do you have the input of a Registered Dietitian? I keep a spreadsheet of daily calories, fat, fibre, exercise, and general comments (including if I was up a fair bit during the night) and when I go over by more than 150-200 calories in the day, I highlight that and make a comment about why - out all day; extra hungry; craving; up a lot during the night, etc., she has commented that when we are up for such long hours, we generally need more. She has given good feed-back about cravings, etc., too. Just examples of why a Dietitian may be able to help you.


AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
7/2/13 7:24 P

I'm right there with you. Stressed and overwhelmed and dealing with some very bad stuff in my life that I can't do much about.

Last week I turned to chips and cheese. I don't usually fall of the wagon like that. This week I am throwing myself into exercise.

When I get that bingy feeling (I am fortunate that it does not happen very often) it seems like eating a big breakfast with some protein helps. Drinking a lot of water/tea helps. Eating as much fiber as possible help. Getting out of the house can be a good thing too.

I hope that things get better for you soon.

REALBLONDE474 Posts: 220
7/2/13 3:32 P

Well at least I know where my same 5 pounds are going and coming back.

Please don't beat yourself are NOT ALONE in your frustration and feelings. I have struggled with the same issue for many years.

Most recently I have found the following to be very helpful (not new ideas but they seem to work for me "this time" and I am actually making progress):

LOG everything, and yes that can be disappointing but it can also be enpowering because if you follow your food plan YOU WILL SEE RESULTS

ASK WHY? and since you seem to know...ask yourself what would be a better choice/response.

WAIT!!! Don't react...take a walk, listen to a book/radio show/ help webcast. I have found at work or home when I am stressed/bored/angry that if I distract myself for a bit I can stick to my plan.

FORGIVE yourself. This is a journey...not a race.


Edited by: REALBLONDE474 at: 7/2/2013 (17:38)
INTUITIVE1 Posts: 28
7/2/13 8:22 A

I appreciate everyone's suggestions.

How do you change to match your activity? Mine is not super consistant. I skate for an hour and half at least once a week, lift weights and do indoor bike 2 x a week at least.
I don't do much walking..

While the Dark Chocolate idea is great - i'm after a specific idea for a specific emotional comfort reason so that won't work. Will have to tackle it in therapy today. I've been here on and off. I generally do worse tracking than not. That is to say - I gain weight more often. Like the tracking becomes a mean restrictive mother taking all the comfort I have away. Trying to form new "non-food" comforts.

The yoga is a great suggestion. I do some yoga but not maybe as much as I could. I was a gymnast so positions aren't a fear issue, but it's still a really good idea.

The Hot tea/chicken broth I like and the maybe not getting enough carbs in the am. Starting to realize maybe I need to eat more earlier in the day and less later. Seems to work better.

I don't show my calorie info on my page because I feel judged when I do (not that any of you are judging at all) and that tends to cause me to rebel and So many triggers!

I appreciate the help - really - very much. I'm kind of angry I can't just have one chocolate bar and not go crazy and eat 6. I'm trying to let myself have it vs restricting but it seems to be having an addictive effect on me.

You are right. I am in control - the food is not. I'm not up to 1200 yet today as of now - only at 600. Trying. My day sometimes begins at 4am and ends at 10 pm. So it seems like a long time.

THank you!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (243,801)
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7/2/13 6:54 A

Altho' you have been a SP member for quite some time, I get the impression that you start... lose weight, then fall off the wagon, only having to start again later! If this is the case, is it possible that you are making changes too quickly? Not giving your mind/body the time it needs to get used to a couple changes before adding another?

I suggest that you start again, but take it slowly. If you know that when your time of month is near AND you find that you need (crave) something, I suggest that you get a little bar of good quality dark chocolate and nibble on that, taking your time to savour the smell, feel the texture in your mouth, taste the taste. THEN put it away for another time. It might be later in the day, or it might be the next day. I have practiced this technique, as have many others, and it CAN work. It certainly is worth giving it a go, and far better than having all and sundry around.

Good luck,

MYKIDSRSWEET SparkPoints: (12,017)
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7/1/13 4:48 P

When I get in a binge type mood, I have a huge glass of hot tea or chicken north. The heat helps me feel like it is real food, and it fills me up quick!

ZJAMEZ Posts: 88
7/1/13 3:53 P

my message is short but to the point. It has helped me every time I remember it. You are in charge! Not the food! It does not have contorl of you!!!! Winston Churchhill'squote is the best! "Never give up, NEVER,NEVER NEVER" and one more for me NEVER

7/1/13 12:52 P

Are you tracking your calories?

I just went to your page and didn't see any entries for your daily caloric intake.

One of the things that can set off a binge faster than anything, is if you aren't getting enough calories/carbs/fats for the amount of activity your are doing.

Having suffered from binging most of my life, I have come to realize that my body's urge to binge is a form of communication from my body. If I am craving fries, cheese, gooey fat things...I need more fats. An avocado will do the trick. Binge averted. If I am craving breads, sodas, butter cream frosting...carbs are needed. A banana, a half cup of ice cream, a soy latte will fill the need. Binge averted. Chocolate usually means I'm low on I eat a bit of dark chocolate. (There's no real substitute for that. So, i make sure I get organic, dark, high quality chocolate.)

Listen to the signals your body is sending you. Slow down.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (195,865)
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Posts: 26,967
7/1/13 12:47 P


I know it seems like the day is lost, but it's NOT. Take some nice deep breathes. You are not a bad person or an unhealthy one because you've over eaten today. These things happen.

What to do ? Try to eat a little more mindfully for the rest of the day. Don't beat yourself up. And don't starve yourself to compensate later. Skipping dinner implies you did something wrong and deserve to be punished. You didn't do anything wrong. If you're hungry this evening, eat a big green leafy salad.

If you're still feeling bent out of shape for whatever reason, go outside and take a walk. If it's too hot outside, go to your local mall and walk. If you don't want to go out, put on some of your favorite music and try to relax. take a shower. It stinks being PMS, but it's not the end of the world either.

I'm a firm believer that stress is a neglected aspect of weight gain. if a person could reduce their stress, they'd automatically reduce their waistline. Have you ever taken yoga ? You might find yoga a good way to learn how to relax and listen to your body. Some times a few good deep breathing exercises is all it takes to help calm us down. So, consider trying yoga and if you've never done it before, I recommend a class over a DVD. Don't let the poses frighten you. I've become a big believer in the positive effects of regular yoga practive.

try not to worry ! Be kind to yourself as you would to others.

INTUITIVE1 Posts: 28
7/1/13 11:50 A

I'm having a hard time with this. I lost weight last week. I tracked, I had discipline and now it's all falling apart. While I assume I have PMS, I might just be angry about feeling like the world is on top of me , though mainly at work. I can't seem to stop eating. I do this every time I lose weight. I eat just enough to gain it back. Here I go again. I really want to lose. I was feeling good about this. Then the weekend came and I fell apart. No structure, to much to do at home, preparations for a holiday, all these feelings, and already overwhelmed with micromanaging crazy person at work.

Suggestions? I can't seem to find the real comfort. I keep reaching for chips and mainly one kind of chocoate bar that's soft and have candy covered chocolate pieces in it. My boss its all over me..but I'm so overwhelmed I can't get anything done so I keep eating. How do I handle getting through the rest of the day wiht out eating so I don't gain weight? I'm so irritated in general I just want to scream. Can't people just leave me alone and give me a break? There's just too much.. way too much. Sorry to purge this here.. just really frustrated! I keep losing the same 3 lbs and then regaining it because of this. I need to move past this.

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