You should also look into The New Rules of Weighlifting by Lou Schuler....there is a version for men and for women. I got mine at the library initially and liked the philosophy and workout plans so much I ordered my own copy from amazon.
Bob Harper's Inside Out strength dvd isn't "girly". It has two women and one man working out with Harper ("with" is more like it, Harper mostly runs his jaw while the other folks do the work).
The setting isn't super cutesy (it's actually kind of grungy) and the music isn't super silly, either.
But the best part is, it's a GOOD workout. You have to work hard the whole time and the people working out on the dvd really appear to be working (sweating, gasping, having to pause to catch their breath).
Personally I think that in general "strength" DVDs are a waste of time since you have to watch then do which breaks your concentration on the exercise. I suggest you learn the moves and memorize the routine then do the exercises without the DVD.
To more specifically address your question I suggest looking into Craig Ballentyne's Turbulence Training www.turbulencetraining.com which is suitable for both men and women, both are represented in his Transformantion contests. Another good source is www.tacfit.com which is all bodyweight fitness training. Crossfit is another good programme which is free. If you go to www.modeathletics.com you will find several gym less workouts using resistance bands.
My fiance and I lift at home together 2-3 days a week. We're looking for a little more variety in our weight lifting workout (currently use Jari Love's Get Ripped and Get Ripped and Chiseled when we use dvds). Unfortunately most workout dvds are really female-centric and that turns him off in a dvd we'd use together. I'm looking for something challenging, but that does not include aerobics style moves or an all female cast. Any suggestions?
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