Fitness Minutes: (1,280)
2,444 9/15/12 7:16 P
I got this one almost 20 years ago- I think it was the first backhanded compliment I ever received so I'll never forget it. Given to me by a guy I was dating who wasn't exactly a star student: "You look great! Except for those shoes."
Fitness Minutes: (219,550)
29,478 9/5/12 9:05 P
A neighbor gave me a shirt last year and told me she thought I would like it and that she couldn't wear it because it was too big on her!
A while back, I was doing deadlifts at the gym. As I was putting the barbell back on the rack, this random guy comments...."wow, that's a lot of weight (pause)......for a girl". I'm not speechless too often, but that one got me.
Fitness Minutes: (7,513)
899 9/5/12 10:38 A
Odd or backhand compliments never tell us what's genuinely important or true, they're much more a reflection of what the other person values.
If you've never received a compliment from someone until you lose weight, and then it's odd or wrapped in something awful, it just reminds me that there are a lot of people out there who are incredibly shallow and surface-level.
"I never expected you could lose all that weight and look so good." is one I got once... real nice.
Edited by: RACKMYBRAINS at: 9/5/2012 (09:47)
9/5/12 8:58 A
At my work, I am rarely without any kind of sleeves because they keep it absolutely freezing in there! The couple days I have been in short-sleeves or rolled sleeves due to the a/c breaking, people usually like to make random comments about my arms, especially when Im lifting things or washing my hands.
I'm decently toned from weight lifting, yoga, belly dancing and whatnot, and I've gotten everything from "wow, are you training to take out the Terminator?" to "women shouldn't have muscles like that, doesn't that make you feel ugly?"
Fitness Minutes: (133,248)
9/5/12 8:47 A
After a salsa class I checked in the mirror to see if my hair was still okay. Without missing a beat, my own brain went "Well it's not as bad as your face".
Fitness Minutes: (547)
9/13/11 7:32 P
"If you weren't overweight you'd be prettier than your sisters"
That's my favorite one so far. There's also, "You'd be so attractive if you wore -Insert type of fashion that I have no interest in"
I'm actually curious as to why 'You've lost weight - you look great' is seen as a great compliment, but other compliments which draw attention to previous fatness and looking better as a result of losing it are seen as back-handed.
Fitness Minutes: (8,326)
9/13/11 6:25 P
Best backhanded compliment for me was "you have such a pretty face" as if that is the only thing I have going for me. I have also had "you lost weight? Where?"
I just consider the source and forget about them. They are not important, I am, especially when it comes to weight loss.
I dislike 'You look so much prettier without your glasses'. People mean it as a compliment, but it always makes me think: 'Yeah, well, I have to wear glasses, and even if I didn't, I'm not aiming to fulfil your aesthetic preferences'.
I ran into an ex the other day who used to regularly criticize my weight. When we first met, I was at the weight that I am now (142), and he had a beer belly. One of the first things he said to me the other day was "you got skinny." He, on the other hand, had regained the beer belly.
Fitness Minutes: (13,678)
1,112 9/13/11 3:57 P
I used to be a great deal "fatter" than I am now, and hadn't done any type of weight-training since high school. I started back lifting heavy and religiously for about 9 months before seeing some old friends again. So some buddies complimented me and were pretty shocked that I had lost so much bodyfat and put on "so much muscle". So my buddy, Robbie, says: "Wow dude, that's impressive! How'd you do it. I wouldn't mind looking better myself, but I would like to actually be able to wash my back and tie my shoes". WHAT? I'm not big. Pretty sure he was just being a smart-@@@. Still kinda funny though.
This is not weight-loss related, but my dh said, "How do you keep your clothes looking new when you've been wearing them for a million years??" Sheesh!
9/13/11 2:39 P
"Oh - you've lost weight again!"
Fitness Minutes: (105)
76 9/10/11 7:27 P
Some lady told me that i look smaller from the behind. Huh ? you aren't even calling me small now. booo.
Fitness Minutes: (5,910)
9/10/11 4:08 P
I've gotten "you look so pretty I didn't even recognize you!" hahaha really was I that bad before? also "you lost a lot of weight. you lost a lot in your chest." my friend said this and I was just like who the hell says that? i lost weight in my breasts. is that the only place i did? who points out that you lost a breast size?
9/10/11 2:47 P
I agree with Sunshinegirl. Life is to short to get worked up over stuff like this. I just accept the compliment and move on. If they meant something snarky then that is on them.
Best saying I have heard all week. Holding a grudge is like allowing someone to live rent free in your head. You don't want to give any true Negative Nellies that kind of power over you.
And then there are times when *I* say something and then think on it later and I fear that it may have come out wrong, when I meant a sincere compliment.
Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 9/10/2011 (14:47)
Fitness Minutes: (4,820)
9/10/11 2:11 A
SUNSHINEGIRL49 is right when she says that girl over-reacted. If I lost that 40 lbs. and some guy said I looked great...I would have preened! I would be flabbergasted that someone noticed and feel beyond Cloud Nine! Hopin' to hear that some day.
When I was working customer service a few years ago a woman complained to the manager I was being careless and gave her the wrong order. When my manager asked which girl was it, she said the pretty one. My manager confronted me about it and told me what she said, I blushed and said,"Really?! She said I was pretty??"
Got another one at when I went to get my haircut. The lady in the next chair said, "Your hair is so beautiful you don't need to color it!" Wasn't planning to, Lady, but thanks for mentioning my head full of gray! :-)
KJ, I think the lady overreacted. If you'd said, "You look great since you lost all that weight!" that would have been backhanded. What you said was straightforward.
It's fun to share these, but for the record, I just laugh and move on. Life's too short to get worked up over stuff like this.
9/8/11 1:31 P
If someone compliments me, I just take it at face value. I don't try to find the ulterior motive.
Fitness Minutes: (35,465)
2,323 9/8/11 1:10 P
I have probably had one and didn't realize it. These are funny and I agree with the one guy. They all may not be said to be mean.
A co-worker was very enthusiastic and excited to hear about a recent marathon I ran. Meanwhile another co-worker proceeded to say "Oh its easy for her, shes young." I was beyond annoyed because she was belittling my achievement. I wouldnt call it EASY at any age hunny.. especially for your first marathon, thanks! Another thing.. I dont think the word 'easy' and 'marathon' should ever be in the same sentence. haha
Edited by: LOVES2RUN08 at: 9/8/2011 (13:14)
Fitness Minutes: (4,820)
9/8/11 9:14 A
PAIGEK...that has got to top them all!
One that I got was, "I can tell you lost weight because of your face." Okay...is that the only place where I lost weight? And...what's wrong with my face?
Fitness Minutes: (0)
9/8/11 9:04 A
The best backhanded compliment was probably when I went to school after 6 months of losing all of my weight and no one talked to me until some person came up and said this AND I QUOTE.
"Are you new here? you kind of look like this one girl who used to go here.... but you're prettier"
when I told them my name, I WAS that one girl who used to go there :) I'm prettier. HA!
On the topic of backhand compliments: I think most folks are UNAWARE that they are doing this. Most of the time it's us (the reciever of such compliments) who interpret these statements as such. Compliments like these use to bother me to no end I made one myself of someone who was losing weight. I said to her when she had walked into the office wearing an outfit I had never seen her wear before , "Wow, you look great!" She DID look great, she had lost maybe 40lbs at the time and was clearly wearing several sizes smaller (I hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks and didn't really notice her at that time but maybe it was because she was wearing an outfit I had seen before and maybe it was an old one).
Anyway, you could tell she was offended and stormed off. These days when people compliment me I take for face value even if i KNOW they're being snarky. A loud and confident THANK-YOU spoils the fun of giving a backhand compliment, believe me, I know this. LOL!
Because sometimes you just need to chuckle and let it go.....
Best recent backhanded compliment I received after losing some weight.... "You're looking good! You seem to have more style now..." Hahahahahaha!!! All I can do is laugh. It just so happens that when you're 5 foot tall and tipping that morbidly obese side of the scale, there are not a lot of options or at least not that I would/could wear... but... thanks... sort of? well... thanks for confirming that I looked as bad as I felt... That was definately one of the "better" ones. Still makes me chuckle... LOL!!!
NOW... It's your turn... What is the "best" backhanded compliment you've received recently??
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