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IGNITEME101 Posts: 7,105
10/29/13 7:37 P

SURVIVOR61 May I ask a question? Are they jealous because they need to loose weight, too?
They could be feeling 'left out' if you use to eat together meals that you no longer share with them.

If so, I may have some ideas regarding how to deal with situations like this.
I have been there when loved ones maybe not on purpose, maybe even unknowingly, sabotage my best efforts, too.

In Him, your sister in Jesus

AUNTCAT Posts: 146
7/9/13 7:32 P

Great clarification/reminder about how not to allow your own thoughts to hinder your progress/happiness. THANKS for sharing. emoticon emoticon emoticon

SURVIVOR61 SparkPoints: (192,847)
Fitness Minutes: (43,455)
Posts: 12,988
12/19/12 5:19 P

emoticon Ooh, I am sooo angry right asthma is finally letting up and I get to go out side for my walk instead of doing it inside..and guess what!! Here I am dumb enough to think everyone is finally starting to get it, that I am trying to get healthy, trying to loose a little weight so I can breath better, feel better!! But, walks in my husband with what..non the less but half an apple pie from his sister next door....just a few days ago he comes in with 3 not 1 but, 3 boxes of pop tarts..which I've managed to stay away from with the exception of one package. Is this too much or what? I mean, really what do I need to do to get a little respect here...I am not the garbage disposal...I have even tried preparing healthy meals and taking them some for dinner and explaining how to prepare it, when they rave "How delicious it is"
Just the other night a simple salad, nothing major..a bag of garden salad, add grape tomatoes. set aside, one can of grilled chicken breast, reserve liquid and freeze for later use. Slice or chop one of each red,green,yellow bell peppers, fresh garlic clove and 1/2 onion, heat a pan and add a Tbsp of virgin olive oil to pan. throw in veggies and sauté'. Once veggies are starting to brown throw in the chicken to warm. Turn off and add top of fresh salad and top with 1/2 ounce lo-fat cheese 1 teaspoon bacon bits, 6 croutons and your favorite salad dressing in moderation I recommend Oil and Vinegar no more than 2 tbsp.... They loved this...
and wanted the recipe as there are only 3 of them. 1 can of chicken , 1 bag of salad mix feeds 3 people. You can use pre cooked shrimp instead of chicken or even those Tyson steak strips in a bag. I mean I have asked, I have demonstrated by example and nothing seems to work.. Are they just sabotaging me on purpose or just plan out don't care and are ignoring my wishes.
I can't figure it out..............But thanks for listening, I feel better...
Love Always Your Sister in Christ Jill

Edited by: SURVIVOR61 at: 12/19/2012 (17:22)
SURVIVOR61 SparkPoints: (192,847)
Fitness Minutes: (43,455)
Posts: 12,988
12/17/12 8:50 P

I also read this article today on SP and thought you might like it..

What is the single, most common problem that most dieters face when trying to lose weight? Will power? Nah. Temptation? Sometimes. Emotional eating? Bingo! That’s why it takes so much more than good intentions and information about nutrition and exercise to be successful. The ability to manage difficult situations and feelings effectively—without turning to food and eating—is a necessary foundation for a successful weight loss plan and healthy lifestyle.

Fortunately, there are many proactive steps you can take to keep functioning on all your mental cylinders during tough times. These steps range widely from basic relaxation techniques to the development of a reliable support network. Other options include: Keeping a food journal to help you identify your emotional eating triggers
Cultivating mental and emotional well-being through practices like meditation, mindfulness, massage, and yoga
Developing good problem solving skills
Turning to the Message Boards for help and support when you need it; offering help to others as a way to get your mind off your own troubles and gain a little perspective on things
But all of these things take time, and there are many instances when you need something you can do right now, to keep yourself grounded, focused and able to make good decisions. After all, you don’t always have time to take a walk, relax in a hot bath or call a friend to talk things over. That’s what we’ll be talking about here—a 3-minute trick for handling stressful situations in the moment.

Minute 1: Stay Grounded
Emotional eating happens when you lose your connection to your grounded self. Stress itself is not what makes you reach for something to eat. In fact, stress is often a good thing and your grounded self knows this! We need the physical stress of exercise to keep our bodies in good shape just as we need the stress of intellectual and emotional challenges to keep our minds healthy.

Nine times out of ten, what really leads to emotional eating is getting caught in a "mind storm" of worst-case scenarios, projections, misinterpretations, and all the emotional overreactions that come with these thoughts. This "storm" turns a manageable challenge into something that makes you feel helpless, overwhelmed, ashamed or afraid—and sends you to the kitchen to find something to stuff those extreme feelings. When you can stay grounded in the moment of stress, you have many more options.

Here are some simple ideas to keep you grounded when something (or someone) pushes your buttons and your feelings start to spiral out of control: Take a few deep breaths. (You can also count to 10, if that helps.) If the stressful situation involves someone else, take a timeout and agree to continue the discussion in a few minutes.
Remind yourself where you are. Take a look around, noticing and naming the colors and shapes in the space around you.
Notice the physical sensations you are experiencing. Whether it's a sinking feeling, turmoil in your stomach, tension in your hands or jaw, restricted breathing, or heat on the back of your neck, try to name the feelings that go with the sensation. Is that sinking feeling fear, or dread? Is the heat a symptom of anger?
The idea here is to stay in your body and in the moment—with what’s real—instead of going inside your mind where all those unreal scenarios are just waiting to get spun out-of-control.

Minute 2: Reality Check
Once you’re calm enough to start thinking productively, put all those thoughts that are clamoring for attention inside your head through a quick reality check. Here are several very common thought patterns that have no place in reality. Do any of these apply to you? All or nothing thinking
Example: You go over your calorie limit or eat something on your “forbidden” list, and then decide to keep eating because you’ve already “blown it” for today. Reality: Weight loss is not a one-day event. If you stop overeating now, you’ll gain less and have less to re-lose later. That’s something to feel good about!

Reading your own thoughts into someone else’s words
Example: Someone made a mildly critical or unsupportive remark to you, and you feel completely devastated. Reality: The more bothered you are by such remarks, the more likely it is that you are being overly critical of yourself. When you treat yourself with respect, what others say won’t matter nearly so much.

Either-Or thinking
Example: You make a mistake or have a bad day and feel like a complete and hopeless failure. Reality: No one does well all the time. Mistakes are a necessary and valuable opportunity to learn—if you don’t waste them by getting down on yourself.

Taking care of other people’s business
Example: Something is going badly for someone you care about, and you feel responsible, or pressured to fix it. Reality: People need to learn from their own problems. You aren’t doing anyone a favor by trying to fix things just to make yourself feel better.
Minute 3: Putting Things in Perspective
Most common problems that you face in everyday life are much easier to handle when you keep them in perspective and avoid making mountains out of molehills. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to make sure you aren’t in the mountain-making business: How big a deal is this, anyway? If I knew I was going to die in a week, would this be something I would want to spend this minute of my remaining time on?
Will any bad things happen if I postpone thinking about this until I have more time to figure things out?
Do I have all the information I need to decide how to respond to this? Do I really know what’s going on here, or am I making assumptions? Am I worrying about things that might not even happen? What do I need to check out before taking action?
Is there anything I can do right now that will change or help this situation?
Am I trying to control something I can't, like what other people think, say, or do?
Have I really thought through this problem, and broken it down into manageable pieces I can handle one-at-a-time?
Use this approach whenever your thoughts or situations begin to feel overwhelming, and you'll quickly find that the mountains that seem impossible at first can quickly morph into what they really are—manageable hills that you DO have the ability to climb. All it takes is three little minutes of your time.

current weight: 185.0

SURVIVOR61 SparkPoints: (192,847)
Fitness Minutes: (43,455)
Posts: 12,988
12/17/12 8:44 P

emoticon It is an important step in loosing weight...especially for me. I have food pushers,emotional eating issues and looking back I have not been completely HONEST with me. And I have to be honest with me, because no one else is going to be. And I want to live, I am not ready to give up on me yet...
Love Your Sister in Christ Jill

Edited by: SURVIVOR61 at: 12/17/2012 (20:44)
MCCORMICK82 SparkPoints: (633)
Fitness Minutes: (436)
Posts: 68
12/17/12 12:43 P

Very true! I am going to start asking myself those questions before eating! Great idea. thank you!

SURVIVOR61 SparkPoints: (192,847)
Fitness Minutes: (43,455)
Posts: 12,988
12/17/12 12:23 P

emoticon Being Honest with ourselves is an important tool. It is just as important as our food trackers or our daily blogs. For some of us it is easier said than done. For me Spark people food tracker and the notes are making me take an emtional tour daily of my lifes ups and downs. I believe that I am learning on certain occasions that I do use food as an emotional crutch. I also have to be completely honest on my food tracker to list the good and the bad foods so I can recognize where and when I slip up, where my weaknesses are. This way I can Identify and come up with a game plan to deal with my issues. I can use these game plans in the future to deal with any situation that arises. This is a first step in being honest with me. Yes it hurts, to finally see how much that I am hurting my body. I don't want to hurt me. Now I need to find other ways to overcome emtional stress. To stop the hurt, I have been hurting far too long...How about you, Are you listing everything you are eating and why you are eating it. Not just because it's time to eat, or because your hungry. Is it snack time, or because someone tempted you, or because it's there, is it a party? Just make a note Why you are eating it and go back and reflect over it....see if it helps you....

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