Welcome to Spark People, GEORGIEGURLZ !!
You're being much too hard on yourself. Don't look at weight loss or good health with an all or nothing mentality. Any healthy thing you do for yourself IS a step in the right direction even if you think you've blown it. There is no blowing it !!
As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for the positive things you do and try not to beat yourself up if you think you do something wrong. We all have negatives in our lives. The goal is for the positives to outnumber the negatives.
What to do ? Start slowly. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Start with small goals. If you're not used to exercising for 60 minute a day, then don't be that ambitious. Start with something simple you can do. How about starting with a daily 30 minute walk ? Cardiologists will tell you that walking for 30 minutes each day can reduce your risk for heart disease by over 30%. don't think you can lose weight by walking ? There are members who will tell you how they lost 100+ pounds just by walking and watching what they ate.
If you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, then set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. Do you drink enough water ? If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses a day, then set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. When you've achieved these goals, you set new goals.
Nothing is hopeless. It's just a matter of creating a plan and doing your best to stick with that plan. it's not about will power. that's a misconception. start slowly. take baby steps literally and figuratively. don't be afraid to challenge yourself, but you want to be practical too.