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At a loss for words



 
 
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NANCYPAT1
Posts: 46,484
12/27/12 2:05 A

I have a magic formula for people who feel the need to pass judgment on what I SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be eating. For more than 30 years now, I have informed people (IN ADVANCE - and especially when starting a DIET or now, a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE CHANGE) that NO FOODS ARE FORBIDDEN - IF I AM PUTTING IT IN MY MOUTH, I HAVE FIT IT INTO MY EATING PLAN AND THAT I TRACK MY FOODS AND MAKE SURE IT FITS INTO MY PLAN. This way, I cut off the teasing comments about the chocolate bar, the piece of pie, or whatever I choose to eat. Whether it is ABSOLUTELY true or whether I am really indulging doesn't matter, what matters is that I make it clear that I am responsible for the decisions about what foods go into my mouth and not anyone else.



CMCOLE
Posts: 2,667
12/26/12 12:46 P

Sorry for your struggle, and I wish I had a magic formula for you.
There are some people in this world that you just cannot please, regardless

Choosing not to respond may be a solution



LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 16,017
12/26/12 12:25 P

You can't change your dad.. but you CAN change how you respond to him!



CHEETARA79
SparkPoints: (74,773)
Fitness Minutes: (52,676)
Posts: 3,499
12/26/12 9:31 A

I think this article might have some good pointers on how to deal with your dad. www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=1325




DIDS70
Posts: 5,070
12/26/12 9:05 A

I have noticed that when you eat a piece of fruit or more salad and stray from the fast food places, people tend to think you are on a diet. They have no cognition of a LIFESTYLE change. I went raw or mostly raw 2 years ago. My breakfast is an apple with some kind of homemade nut butter. My lunch is a green smoothie. My dinner is a what typically looks like a salad, but is so much more than that. I have sweets. Believe me there is nothing like raw desserts. (but like any dessert you have to careful)
I go to my brothers or sisters for dinners and I get the same thing. We don't know what to feed you. I shrug and usually bring some of my own stuff. I dress up their salads.

But I am with Kris. You are not going to change his mindset. Just accept that. You know what you can eat and waht you can't.



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (128,420)
Fitness Minutes: (32,641)
Posts: 21,444
12/26/12 4:43 A

Perhaps try to accept that you can't change his mind-set?

Many of us have the same problem - my own mother has said at times that I am straying off my "diet" (if I enjoy a chocolate biscuit at her place) even tho' I am not and never have been on a diet. She also has added that she bets I won't include it in my calorie total for the day. I just point out that I DO include it, and regardless of whether I recorded it or not, that I am doing what I have done all along on this journey, and as I have lost a bucket load of weight, I am obviously doing something right! She SEEMS to have finally gotten the message (and she is 91) LOL! As you say, it is merely a healthy lifestyle journey.

Kris



K0470362
SparkPoints: (481)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 2
12/25/12 11:07 P

Hello all,

I am unsure of how to respond in this situation. I live far from my parents, so I only see them for a few weeks a year at Christmas and during the summer, and I try to make the most of the time I do get with them.

My father is morbidly obese and suffers many medical conditions as a direct result of his weight. I have lost nearly 30 pounds since the last time I saw him, and I have worked hard to learn new eating habits and build my fitness level. However, rather than congratulate me on these changes, my father chooses to comment teasingly every time food that isn't salad or fruit passes my lips: "Oh, that's not on your diet!" "Watch out! That'll make you fat!"

He thinks he's showing love, but no matter how many times I attempt to rationally explain to him that it's not a diet, rather a lifestyle change, and that I work hard to be able to enjoy the occasional treat in moderation and still lose weight...well, he doesn't seem to get it. My many attempts to verbally explain to him that his comments are hurtful and unnecessary don't seem to get through to him, and rather than acknowledge my feelings he laughs and brushes them off.

I don't want to stay frustrated with him or hide my eating as an avoidance maneuver, but I'm at a loss for what else I can do in this situation. I can't control his choices. Any suggestions? Anyone been in my shoes before?



 
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