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TRYINGTOLOSE64 Posts: 93,051
11/13/12 6:54 A

Get some help for yourself. You won't be happy with others until you can be happy with yourself. Listen to the song "Hero". If you really think about the words to that song it's true.

EWILLIAMS1000 Posts: 242
11/13/12 12:53 A

the best way I know how to change my negativity and focus on the positive is to find someone to do something nice for. Not because they deserve it but because putting positive focus on someone else helps you to see the good you can do and the joy you can bring someone else. Especially with the holidays coming up, there are so many with so little. Buy a christmas present for someone you know, make a thanksgiving dinner and share it with those around you, find a charity drive and help out with the holiday rush, go make some meals at your local shelter and serve the homeless. It might seem backwards, but it's well established how doing good lifts your spirit and you end up getting more than those you are helping or serving.

SOMOMMYOF3 SparkPoints: (1,721)
Fitness Minutes: (130)
Posts: 6
11/12/12 11:06 P

I find that I have this problem too, but just in day-to-day life. Some would call it being negative, but I tend to say that I am realistic. I would love to be more "positive" but to me it just seems so fake. That is something that I need to focus on I guess. But anyways, when it comes to relationships, especially when there are kids involved, you should be picky.... This is someone that you could potentially be with for the rest of your life.

MJLADY51 Posts: 103
11/12/12 10:30 A

Live is so short and we keep looking for ways to just stay ahead. I love the story in Genesis about Leah and Rebecka. Leah kept wanting to be Jacob's best and Rebecka wanted to have his child. Neither was satisfied with what they had so they were always angry for what the other had. They both had great qualities -- Leah was the generation that Jesus was born from and Rebecka was the mother of the twelve tribes of Israel. So look for your good qualities and the good in those around you. Say thank you to the people who inspire you.

SMANISMELL SparkPoints: (76,799)
Fitness Minutes: (39,952)
Posts: 725
11/12/12 10:22 A

I use to feel this way. I was always pessimistic. I did not even notice that I was that way until my cousin pointed out that she could not be friends with me because I was too pessimistic. So I changed. I started looking for the positive in everything. If you look for the negative you will find it, so stop looking for the negative. Focus on the positive. Your friends may have some negative qualities, but they also have some positive qualities. Look for those and think about why it makes you feel good to be with that person. No one wants to be alone.

11/12/12 8:12 A

Get some help. Life is too short to live it thinking this way. You deserve to feel good about yourself.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
11/11/12 11:32 P

Don't be afraid to live your life.... your not your mom, be yourself and sometimes we need to get hurt in this life (especially by the opposite sex). That way when the real Mr. Right comes along we can appreciate them more , cause it wasn't easy to find him...

TACDGB Posts: 6,136
11/11/12 10:27 P

I found several things that worked for me. One was to turn a negative thought into a positive one. I also gave it all to God. And I got some therapy and that helped too. You have to like yourself well enough to change this.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
11/11/12 10:17 P

I say concentrate on yourself. Try to figure out why you are not happy even if it takes outside help such as counseling to do so. You may be too critical of yourself so that makes you critical of others. Know that no one is perfect and come to terms with that we all have flaws. Stop looking for love, and let love find you. When one least expects it is when it happens. Be the best that you can be. Set standards and guidelines to guide you. Give your fears to God and let him help you. Do these things and I guarantee your life will change. :)

BECCALUVS1 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (325)
Posts: 24
11/11/12 10:14 P

why what??

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
11/11/12 10:13 P


BECCALUVS1 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (325)
Posts: 24
11/11/12 10:02 P

I post of a lot of these, because I don't really know where else to go for advice. Right now though, I really could use some words of wisdom. I can't seem to be happy, not just with myself but with anyone. I always look more at the negatives than at the positives. I hurt others by doing this, just as much as I hurt myself. I mean, I realize what I'm doing and I know exactly why I am the way I am, I just can't seem to change it. I don't want to end up like the mom, alone and miserable. I want to be happy, and see the bright sides of life. I don't want to hurt others in the process either....for example I was talking to someone, and then suddenly I saw the negatives in them, and thought they might end up hurting me, so I stopped talking to them before it could happen. I just know that I am going to regret this later too. I want to be wanted so bad, and then when it happens I push them away because all I can see is what 'could' happen, and all their flaws. ...What do I do now?.....

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