I have heard the following, and pardon me if I get it a bit wrong but I'm sure you will get the gist if it. It's not what you think, or what they think, that's important but rather it's what you think they think. In other words the reality of the situation has little bearing on your perspective, so just put it in your mind that the are jealous of your accomplishments:)
Comments (good and bad) can be annoying. Some people don't take change well (you losing weight or getting in shape) and some are wicked suppportive to the point of "are you just saying that because you think you need to." People will be people and you just need to truck on with a positive attitude. As long as you don't dwell on the annoying comments they are gone in a blink
I don't let comments like that even bother me. I just smile and go on. Too many other IMPORTANT things in the world to be worried about.
Edited by: SUMMERBREEZE62 at: 10/11/2013 (08:57)
Fitness Minutes: (18,507)
1,377 10/11/13 8:37 A
I have received those types of comments in the past and they are quite annoying. People don't understand that they may seem harmless, they can be hurtful as well. People should just learn to mind their own business about stuff like that.
Fitness Minutes: (134,271)
17,356 10/9/13 7:28 P
Even those that are trying to be loving and uplifting can cause damage! My doctor calls it "loving sabotage"
Fitness Minutes: (31,900)
1,252 10/9/13 6:57 P
seems quite rude of others to comment unless they are being loving and uplifting.
Take a good look at yourself. Is there any truth in it? Does your face actually look gaunt. Bcoz some people can go overboard and lose too much weight to the point that they look unhealthy or become underweight.
But if you think you're ok, (maybe even get a 2nd opinion from a doctor or nutritionist) then you should ignore those comments.
Fitness Minutes: (207,040)
7,303 10/4/13 9:02 P
There are rude people everywhere we go; don't pay attention to them!!! Be happy with all of your accomplishments and keep smiling!!!!
when people make comment about my weight(being too skinny) I tell them my personal truth. I feel so much better......and my health is better. It's all about good health and not a body size.
Fitness Minutes: (19,002)
563 10/4/13 2:51 P
I think that if people are used to you looking chubbier, then it's harder for them to adjust to changes in your face.
My mom lost 100 pounds several years ago and she had friends constantly commenting on how skinny she was. Now, mind you, she never got slimmer than a size 8-- on a "thin day." But people were used to her rounder, fuller face, and they couldn't deal with her thinner one. People who hadn't known her when she was heavy never said anything about her being skinny.
actually, I think they are trying to give you a compliment. Think positive and say something like, "WOW, you noticed!" Yes, I'm feeling great! Yes, I hope so! Yes, I'm a rock star! then twirl around or something cool to make a positive note. hoped this helped. congrats on your successs!
Fitness Minutes: (14,140)
156 10/4/13 10:35 A
I appreciate the comments, much better than the over weight comments I would hear on occasion, but never to my face. Anyway, a lot of people tell me I've lost enough but I figure that's for me to decide. Just let me lose it in peace, if I think I'm too skinny I can always adjust. Just let me enjoy my achievements without judgement.
with Suzieque77 I consider comments that indicate they notice I've lost weight, as a compliment. I think a lot of people consider 'getting skinny' comments as positive.
on the flip side, I've had the demeaning comments, by strangers and family. I found it easier to tune out the strangers....the family, not so much. The person in my family who criticized me the most was also a constant saboteur... there had to be a lot of underlying rivalry going on there....now we have a long distance relationship.
This whole business of "you're getting too thin" or you are looking gaunt" is sometimes a reflection of the insecurity of the person commenting and has more to do with them than it does with the person being called "gaunt" or "too thin."
In the same way that I would never tell an obese person they are looking "too obese," I would never tell a thin person they are getting too thin.
For example, in the distant past when I was at a much higher weight, I did make judgments about people of lower weights, but that was about me and my own inner restlessness to be at a lower and more healthy for me weight.
Now I understand better that fitness and health come in all sizes.
If a loving friend or family member feels insecure about my having lost weight, I do hasten to reassure them that my medical team finds my weight loss a great thing. If anyone else feels insecure about it, that is their problem so I just smile like the Mona Lisa and go into ignore mode.
Fitness Minutes: (179,627)
2,301 10/4/13 8:24 A
I was taught,If you can't say anything nice: don't day anything at all. Maybe some people need to be reminded of that.
Many people feel awkward/uncomfortable in talking about weight. This has a lot to do with how our society treats people who are fat vs. people who are thin. For some reason, a lot of people feel compelled to comment on changes (weight loss) or weight that is outside the norm (very thin or very fat) even though it is almost never the case that the person they are commenting about really needed that comment. The whole awkwardness of the subject lends itself to really stupid foot-in-mouth comments being made regularly. Then you also get the rare dieter who actually wants to be told that they're "getting too skinny" because they have issues. Obviously people should not be talking about each other's bodies for no good reason but ....
I think it depends on who says it, how they say it (intent), and of course what they actually say. Sometimes random people I've never met will make comments to me at the gym about how much weight I've lost. This really gets under my skin because ... I don't know you so stop talking about my body. When it's a family member or a close friend, I don't mind, because chances are good that at some point I've talked to them about my goals and efforts anyway. But the strangers... woah. You SO do not have my permission to comment on my body and expect me to be okay with it.
Next time someone says "you're too thin" (or whatever), say "hmm... can't say the same about you." or not.....
Fitness Minutes: (76,885)
2,953 10/4/13 7:23 A
I do agree that people are insensitive but mostly I just give them a blank stare and pretend I didn't hear them.....over the years I have developed quite a thick skin when it comes to those types of comments. Yet that being said the "gaunt" comment is something you might want to investigate but it is totally up to you.
Congrats on all your hard work!
Fitness Minutes: (33,149)
21,838 10/4/13 7:05 A
Mostly, the comments I would ignore, but to me, a warning bell is someone telling you your face is looking gaunt. I have had the same happen to me, too, and my face WAS actually looking gaunt. It was also at a stage where my Dr wanted me to stop losing weight - my BMI was just over 25, so I wasn't underweight in the technical sense.
Anyway that comment piqued my curiosity so I had a wee squiz of your Nutrition Tracker. Are you entering everything that you eat??? ........ because most days you only have "New Direction Chocolate Pudding, 1 serving" for each meal and the calories are around the 700 mark for the day. I also notice that your weight ticker is at a very healthy place, but your goal is a bit further along, so unless you are really short ......... !
Take care, Kris
Fitness Minutes: (40)
992 10/4/13 6:52 A
I have always taken a comment like "Hey skinny...you are going to blow away" as a compliment, just someone noticing I lost weight and not really different from saying "I notice you lost weight! Good job. You look good!
Now comments about face looking gaunt would be rude, so it just depends what is said. I don't automatically assume people are being rude even if what they say is not really what I want to hear.
Fitness Minutes: (4,131)
536 10/4/13 6:35 A
Don't let their words bother you. I always say if you can't say something nice don't say it at all.
Fitness Minutes: (54,745)
40,751 10/4/13 2:08 A
Some people don't know what else to say. However, me mindful that they recognize the weigh lost. Take it lightly as don't we want people to see our lose!?!?! I have people ask me how and then, think I'm not sharing everything with them, for me, it's been eating right and exercising!
Fitness Minutes: (27,418)
1,503 10/4/13 1:42 A
I don't know what gives people the right to spread rude comments. When you're on the receiving end, it hurts. Keep on doing what you're doing and know that you have support here.
Fitness Minutes: (38,546)
292 10/4/13 1:25 A
Hi Punky thanks for speaking up. I didn't realize how insensitive and uncaring our society has become. It makes me sick that people go out of their way to hurt others in the ways you describe.
Fitness Minutes: (54,793)
2,641 10/4/13 1:02 A
Its wrong that people make comments that are rude. However as a over 400 lb woman i can assure you that "most people wouldn't" make comments about overweight woman is not true. My weight is a constant topic be it with family or strangers. I've even been mooed at before, yeah it happens trust me. I have found that no matter what size i have been someone always has something to say. Sometimes they mean well and sometimes ther are just being a horses a but its up to me how i let it effect me. Don't let the words of others effect the happiness you desrve.
Fitness Minutes: (38,546)
292 10/4/13 12:20 A
Well, it is obvious that I have lost some weight and I feel great about it. But other people's comments are not great. They are annoying. "Hey Skinny." "You're going to disappear" "Your face is looking gaunt." "You're done losing weight now, right?" "You're going to gain it all back." "Are you eating?" "You'll blow away!"
I don't go make comments about heavy people. Most people wouldn't. But they think it is ok to do it to people who have lost weight? What gives?
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