Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

 
Message Boards
FORUM:   Diet and Nutrition
TOPIC:  

Alcohol and friends



Click here to read our frequently asked Diet and Nutrition questions.

 
 
Search the
Message Boards:
Search
      Share
Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

Author: Message: Sort First Post on Top


NEWYORKCHICK
Posts: 220
1/25/13 7:06 P

I completely agree with LOVE4KITTIES. Just want to go on record saying that. I am 32, live in the NYC area, work in the city. I lived in the city for 12 years and did plenty of drinking and getting drunk when I was in my 20s. I am not anybody's mother.

That said. If someone doesn't WANT to participate in that -- which it sounds like the OP, at this point, really doesn't -- then there is NOTHING wrong with that decision, and I think young people absolutely should be supported in it. Drinking as heavily as the OP describes can have a lot of negative consequences, only one of them being the potential sabotaging of weight loss goals, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in that environment.

I don't drink at all anymore at this point in my life and I avoid binge drinking situations. I don't mind going to a bar and having a soda if we're there to see a band, or something, but if drinking and getting drunk is the only purpose of the gathering then I don't need to be there. This has made my life a lot easier in more ways than just losing weight.

And ETA a last thought... avoiding binge drinking environments does NOT have to mean avoiding all social situations. It means building social situations for yourself that aren't about that. I go out to dinner all the time with my husband and/or our friends, we have meals with our family, go to hockey games with friends, go to concerts and movies. Social situation does not automatically equal drinking situation.

Edited by: NEWYORKCHICK at: 1/25/2013 (19:44)


CALLMECARRIE
Posts: 1,594
1/25/13 4:07 P

@RUSSELL_39: "The good thing is, you may win more games, while sober."

True, LOL!



MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 13,499
1/25/13 4:00 P

You could even make Kool Aid or diet Kool Aid



RUSSELL_40
Posts: 16,745
1/25/13 3:11 P

I think the idea of not drinking is something the OP has reached on her own. I haven't done that since I was 24. I think it is part of growing up. We move on to other social events. However, that differs individual to individual. Some stop at 25, others 35. If the OP is ready to stop, and her friends are not, let them drink, and she can abstain. She should still hang out with her friends, because humans need to be social. Going to a movie may lead to a cheat, and drinking pop is just as bad as alcohol

To the OP, try to hang with your friends without drinking. Hopefully you don't feel like the odd person out, because they are acting silly, while you are sober. The good thing is, you may win more games, while sober. If they are true friends they will adapt, and include you even if you don't drink.



CHRISBEM
SparkPoints: (19,924)
Fitness Minutes: (7,667)
Posts: 1,267
1/25/13 3:10 P

My family includes a lot of heavy drinkers. My sis, when she was pregnant with my niece, would try to do virgin cocktails so that she could feel included and feel like she is having something special



MRSANNIEBRANDT
SparkPoints: (7,871)
Fitness Minutes: (2,776)
Posts: 48
1/25/13 3:07 P

Sure, Drinking is toxic. Along with talking on cell phones, drinking water out of plastic bottles, eating too many carbs and apparantly having friends that drink. If you think like that, EVERYTHING is toxic in some way shape or form, every time you turn around something we've all been doing or eating for years now causes cancer or some other illness. Its all about MODERATION and you have to find what your moderation is based on what works for you individually (that includes alcahol). No one has the right to judge just because it doesnt fit into your ideals of what people should be or do.

YOJULZ suggested a great compromise for NEWMER13. LOV4KITTIES, relax and maybe be a little more openminded. Seriously.

I'm confident NEWMER13 that you can find a balance between your friends/husbands drinking parties and what is going to work for your health with out making drastic decisions. Remember: MODERATION.

Edited by: MRSANNIEBRANDT at: 1/25/2013 (15:11)


AUDREYUK
Posts: 607
1/25/13 3:00 P

I'm 100% with YOJULEZ on this. It's totally normal to have loads of friends who drink. I actually only know 2 people who don't, and that is out of hundreds!

I've lived in Oklahoma, Texas, New York, England and now France in the last 10 years. Same story each place (well more so in Europe even!) I'm 33 and my husband is 52. We have friends ranging from 21 to 70. We are ALL social drinkers. Totally normal.

At my last advertising job in NYC, we had happy hour IN THE OFFICE at work every Friday. The company supplied everything. In London, we all made a trip to the pub weekly. Here in France, wine is cheaper than sparkling water. C'est la vie.

Edited by: AUDREYUK at: 1/25/2013 (15:01)


CALLMECARRIE
Posts: 1,594
1/25/13 2:44 P

"Drinking actually is toxic"

Small amounts are actually healthy. My father's cardiologist told him to drink a glass of red wine a day for his heart. He had been a lifelong tee-totaller so he had to learn to like it, but now he's OK with it.




LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,795
1/25/13 1:40 P

You're right, JODI, these days, there does seem to be a substantial group of young adults who seem to think that drinking is a badge of adulthood. But, I see plenty of young adults who don't act that way.

I really don't think it's judgmental to say that drinking isn't good for you. It's just a statement of fact. I don't think it's judgmental to say that it's okay to ditch friends who want to drink and get drunk and who think you should hang out with them while they're drunk or who think you should drink to join them when that's not what you want to do. I think it's simply my best advice for someone who sounds like she is frequently finding herself in a situation that she seems to be looking to avoid.

I simply wanted to make the point that it's not a requirement of being young to drink and that I think there can be a lot of pressure to "join the crowd" or to "stay a part of the crowd" and that part of that pressure involves people who do choose to drink and get drunk saying that it's perfectly fine and a "normal" part of being young. Drinking actually is toxic because alcohol is a toxin. It's not a judgment, it's a fact.

If I've come across negatively, I do apologize for that. I simply wanted to encourage the OP to consider that she doesn't have to place herself in these situations if that's not what she wants. I wanted to tell her that it's okay for her to find new friends with different interests and who choose to have fun in different ways.

That's my 2 cents... Okay, I'll admit that it's more like my 5 cents (sorry for going on so much about it)! That's it for me in this thread.
emoticon

-Kitties




Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 1/25/2013 (13:57)


JODILHERNANDEZ
Posts: 252
1/25/13 1:26 P

oh wow this thread got very judgmental very fast. I am 29 and I do not drink. I have drank but I could count those times on 1 hand LOL. But having said that it is far more common than it was say 15-20 years ago for a woman to binge drink. I am not endorsing it, it is very bad for you so no one jump on my bones here. But it is a new reality. The problem is that there is a generation of youth who think that binge drinking is the badge of adult hood. And who can blame them when shows like teen mom and jersey shore glorifies it.


BUT skinny girl cocktails are a good idea as is using diet soda and club soda for a mixer. And in the good housekeeping this month I believe it was Miranda Lamber talked about her mirandarita. here is her quote

It's Bacardi Light with Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade and a splash of Sprite Zero," she says with a grin. "Low-calorie, low-sodium, no carbs, no caffeine it's practically a health drink!"

Read more: Miranda Lambert Interview - Miranda Lambert on Blake Shelton and Home - Good Housekeeping




YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
1/25/13 1:17 P

KITTIES, that's fine if you want to make judgemental statements about other people you don't know. We'll agree to disagree. And, no plans to listen to my mother when it comes to who I decide to be friends with. I'm 30, she has no say in what I do at this point in my life. Thanks!



MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 13,499
1/25/13 1:13 P

The seltzer is a good idea too. Or you could drink tonic or diet tonic water



FMB2014
Posts: 6
1/25/13 1:12 P

I know some people suggested soda, but there are a lot of empty calories in sodas. Have a seltzer with a lemon or lime. Most people won't realize it's non-alcoholic. If they're really your friends they should want whats best for you as well and shouldn't pressure you to drink. If not and you find yourself uncomfortable then it's time to find other friends. Good luck and congrats on the 6lbs!



LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,795
1/25/13 1:10 P

YOJULES,
I think that people who drink or hang out with people who drink want to think that it's normal or a normal part of being young. We're just going to have to agree to disagree.

You say that the OP "SHOULDN'T run out and find new friends" who don't want to drink every Friday? Isn't that HER choice?

Again, we're just going to have to agree to disagree here. It's your choice, of course, but, I still think you should listen to your mother!
emoticon

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 1/25/2013 (13:14)


MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 13,499
1/25/13 1:09 P

I don't really drink so I would just drink seven up. I think that going to a movie alone would not be fun. I am sure that your friends wont mind if you drink seven up instead of something else

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 1/25/2013 (13:12)


YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
1/25/13 1:01 P

LOVE4KITTIES, you must have missed the part where I said I don't drink much at all. I can't even remember the last time I was actually drunk and we go out at least once a week and have people at our house at least once a month. But that doesn't mean I think my friends that do that are bad people or that they're bad to be around. It's a personal choice for each individual. I also didn't say that ALL young people drink. I'm just saying, it is a pretty normal activity for young people, even if you don't think it is. Also the OP never said that her friends think that's the ONLY way to have fun. That's just how they choose to have fun on a Friday night... nothing wrong with that, and again, it does NOT make them bad people, and OP shouldn't run out and find all new friends just because she doesn't want to drink and her friends do. She can learn to have fun with her friends, all while keeping up with her own goals. I know I did.

I still don't see the reasoning for your idea that just because people drink, that makes them "toxic". That's a really judgmental statement, especially since you don't even know the people at all.

Edited by: YOJULEZ at: 1/25/2013 (13:02)


LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,795
1/25/13 12:46 P

YOJULEZ...
There are a ton of people in their 20s and 30s who don't spent their time drinking and getting drunk. You are very much incorrect in your assessment that most young people drink and that it's a normal part of being in your 20s and 30s. I am in my early 40s and I never had any trouble finding a ton of friends (and I still have plenty of friends and my SO and I see them at least once weekly). None of my friends or I has ever had drinking parties or felt the need to get drunk. I didn't/don't have to go out and spend time specifically looking for friends like this. They were just there...plenty of them.

What I've noticed is that people who do choose to drink and get drunk seem to use the excuse that "all young people do it, it's part of being young, it's normal." But, that's not true.

Drinking parties ARE toxic environments. Friends who think that the only way to have fun is to get together and drink ARE toxic. People are NOT required to put themselves in toxic situations. Your mother is right. You should listen to her!
emoticon



Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 1/25/2013 (13:59)


PAULAROSE65
SparkPoints: (3,068)
Fitness Minutes: (8,611)
Posts: 34
1/25/13 12:30 P

Have you heard of the Skinny girl cocktails, and wines? They are actually very good, and low calories.
Normally when I drink, I also have a glass of water. So I'll take a drink off my cocktail, and then my water. Not only helps with hydration, and hangover, but slows down of getting drunk....
Maybe you might want to mention to your friends that you're in the process of loosing weight and don't want to sabatoge what you've accomplished so far, and ask for their support wih you not drinking. I would think the females would def understand this...
Let us know how it goes. And congrats on loosing 6lbs!!!!



YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
1/25/13 12:19 P

Oh c'mon LOVE4KITTIES, she said she's young. You sound like my mother. Just because her friends like to drink doesn't make them "toxic" friends or bad people. SO and I are in late 20s/early 30s and we still like to drink etc. I just don't do it as much as he and his friends do. They're all really good, responsible people who hold down professional jobs... that just like to have fun on weekends sometimes.



LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,795
1/25/13 12:12 P

It kind of sounds like you and your husband might want to consider finding some new friends with different interests other than drinking. I don't think that you should have to find a way to deal with a drinking party every week because it's just not a healthy situation for anyone to be in and I don't really feel like it's a good form of socializing with people. I agree that it's important to be social and have friends, but it's also perfectly fine for you to not want to "socialize" with people by getting drunk with them or hanging out with a bunch of people who are drunk. It's not avoiding social situations if you don't want to be in that position it's more along the lines of taking care of yourself. It's okay to just say no to hanging out with drunk people. It's okay to just say no to people coming over to your house to party and drink. You absolutely CAN just say no to these types of situations and it's perfectly fine to do so. Sometimes you just need to ditch toxic friends and find better friends.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 1/25/2013 (14:00)


YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
1/25/13 12:08 P

Let us know how it goes Amber :)



MRSANNIEBRANDT
SparkPoints: (7,871)
Fitness Minutes: (2,776)
Posts: 48
1/25/13 12:07 P

I totally agree with yojulez. You cant avoid these situations forever. If you try, you might come to resent your friends or husband when they do get together and have fun with out you or you have to come home sober to a house full of drunks. You can either cut back the calories by having light drinks spaced moderately apart or if you truely dont want to drink at all, just tell it how it is. Your friends will just need to understand that you can still have fun with them with out the drink calories.



CORTNEY-LEE
SparkPoints: (50,053)
Fitness Minutes: (42,944)
Posts: 2,982
1/25/13 12:01 P

If you don't want to drink... don't drink.

Have soda or water and enjoy the social aspects of your get together



NEWMER13
SparkPoints: (131)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 2
1/25/13 11:59 A

thank you guy's i think that i need to tell my husband that i am not going to be drinking and ask him to support me if anybody gives me problems. I know he will cause he wants whats best for me. I am glad you brought up about feeling alone at the movie could just feed the depression. I am going to try to tell my husband and i guess i do need to learn how to be around people who drink and be able to not. Since myself and my friends are young i know they will be drinking and i need to learn self control and be able to be around them without drinking. Thank you guys so much.

Amber N.



JODILHERNANDEZ
Posts: 252
1/25/13 11:43 A

I think the movie is a great idea, I would also suggest possibly coming up with alternative activities that don't need alcohol. You could have a drink if you wish. You can find reduced calorie mixer ideas online. But if your goal is to get drunk and your friends are not satisfied unless you are wasted then you have much bigger problems than just a few calories. Alcohol is a substance that causes serious effects is drank in large quantities. Being "drunk" is a form of poisoning. You are feeling weird BECAUSE your body is struggling to remove a toxin from itself. And the need to drink to have fun is a big precursor to Alcoholism so be careful



YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
1/25/13 11:39 A

You can't just hang out with them without drinking? You could go to the movie I guess, but you said you get depressed if you don't hang out with your friends, so going to a movie by yourself seems like it would make you depressed.

My SO and his friends are all big drinkers. I am not. When they come over, I might have a few drinks that involve 1oz of vodka, and a can of diet cherry 7-up over the span of a few hours. This drink is approximately 60-70 calories. Then, later, I switch to just having the soda by itself, but nobody can tell whether or not there's alcohol in it... they get drunk and just assume there is I guess, because they don't push me to drink more. When we're out, it's easy to not drink a lot since I'm usually sober driver... once you tell people that they're usually fine and don't bother you. We went to a holiday party where they were playing beer pong. I still played and had a great time, but my cups had water in it instead of beer. Everyone was fine with it.

The only way (in my opinion) that you can lose weight and keep it off is figuring out how to make it work with the lifestyle you want to live. Running away from situations that might be challenging is not going to teach you anything, so unless you plan on avoiding social situations for the rest of your life, you have to figure out a way to make them work for you and your goals.



NEWMER13
SparkPoints: (131)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 2
1/25/13 11:22 A

Hello,
So i just started spark people this week. I really need to lose weight for myself and my family since my health and habits can effect them. I am struggling because on friday nights my husband and myself's friends come over to drink. They come over to play drinking games so the whole purpose is to hang out and drink. I like hanging out it helps keep me out of depression because i am a social person, but i am doing so good i lost six pounds already and i dont want to drink alcohol and to continue doing well. So i was thinking and wanted to get your guy's opinion, would going to a late movie by myself help me that way when i get back i can just hang out since they will already be so drunk that i wont really care to drink or is a movie a bad choice since there are a lot of teasers there. If anyone has any other ideas let me know. I was going to go to planet fitness but they are only open till 9 plus its below freezing so outside activities are a no go. Thank you.

"A Year from Now You Will Wish You had Started Today" unknown
Amber N.



 
Page: 1 of (1)  
Search  



Share


 
Diet Resources: bosu ball deals | what is a stability ball | stability ball exercise