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LGREGG07
SparkPoints: (23,158)
Fitness Minutes: (65,276)
Posts: 117
6/25/13 3:28 P

in my opinion, you are not mentally ready to take on the responsibility of managing your own weight loss. If you can come up with an excuse for anything (dad wont let you buy fruit/veggies, no job, etc.) than you are not mentally prepared to stand up and say "I will give up XYZ" to reach my goals. I have not once seen you say, "I will give up XYZ so that I can reach goal A" (and clearly, you wouldn't say that exactly word for word because it is an over broad example).

WHY do you and your best friend HAVE to hang out at dinner time? If your friend has a full time job then I can understand them only being free after 5, but why can't you watch a movie at each other's houses? or just plain hang out?! When my friends and I want to hang out (and yes, we are also tight for money) we look on Pinterest or Google to come up with free or extremely cheap ideas to do something together. Even if your friend has gift cards or will treat you, why don't you tell them NO I'm try to watch what I eat and lose some weight. Most people are very supportive of their friends goals, and if they aren't, then I don't see how you can consider them a true friend. Eating is not the only thing to do together.

I think you need to re-evaluate where you are mentally before you start your weight loss journey. Just a thought...



ICEDEMETER
Posts: 698
6/25/13 3:18 P

Quote:

"So, my new Sparkpeople plan

1. No going out with friends. No going to church. I will only leave my house to buy chicken breast and steamed vegetables or go to job interviews.

2. No junk food at all. Any amount of junk food is pure evil.My diet will consist of chicken and vegetables."

Welcome to reality for many, many people. There are a lot of folks who now, or in their past, have had to look at their economic reality, and decide that they *need* a roof over their heads, basic clothes on their backs, and the most nutritious food that they can afford. They can't afford additional medical care, so they do what they can with food and exercise to stay as healthy as possible. While they may *want* to go to restaurants, or socialize more, or buy foods that don't nourish their bodies, they place the priority on meeting their *needs* first.

Since you are an adult, there is nobody here on Spark, or in your family, or in your church, or in your circle of friends, who can make your choices for you. You have chosen to put the priority on your *wants*, which is your right. Now you get to take responsibility for your choice, and accept the consequences.





ERICADURR
Posts: 241
6/25/13 3:03 P

In no way have I advocated only for steamed vegetables and chicken breasts. You can look at my logged foods, if you'd like. I eat a heck of a lot more variety than that. What I'm saying is that you're deluding yourself saying that same same amount of calories worth of chips is going to be as filling as chicken and broccoli. Do you know how much chicken you'd have to eat in order to compare to that ginormous sack of potato chips? A family sized bag of Lays BBQ potato chips contains over 2000 calories. I'll be generous and say you only eat half the bag--that's still 1000 calories. You'd have to eat THIRTY OUNCES of chicken to get that many calories. That's nearly two pounds of chicken.



BUNNYKICKS
Posts: 2,292
6/25/13 2:44 P

"So, my new Sparkpeople plan

1. No going out with friends. No going to church. I will only leave my house to buy chicken breast and steamed vegetables or go to job interviews.

2. No junk food at all. Any amount of junk food is pure evil.My diet will consist of chicken and vegetables"

---------------

Let us know how well the Sarcasm Plan works out for you, kay?






FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 2:42 P

When I go back to work, I will have to be available to work up until 6:30. Church starts at 7. There is no possible way I will be able to eat dinner before church. NONE.

My friend's grandmother loves giving him giftcards. Plain and simple.

We've gone to the freaking library. It's the most boring thing we can think to do, but we'll do it. We also walk around stores.

That's what we'll do. We'll go out at 7-8pm when we normally go out and eat dinner and walk around Target for an hour and then go home. Or we'll go out in the gross humid weather and frequent thunderstorms and look at the clouds.

I guess giving up church and hanging out with my best friend is my only option. And I NEVER said I go out with my friends every week after church. In fact, I stopped going to church most weeks. I ONLY GO TO CHURCH ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH NOW, and we don't always go out afterwards.

And a bag of chips is more filling. If I eat a bag of chips, I'll be full for hours. I won't be full for hours eating grilled chicken and steamed broccoli.

Bunny- I see you purposely omitted something when you repeated a phrase from my post, the "HE'LL COMPLAIN MORE ABOUT NOT HAVING MONEY." IF HE SAYS WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, I CAN'T BORROW THE CREDIT CARD TO SPEND MONEY ON FOOD! It's not that I'm specifically cut off from buying healthy food. I'm cut off from borrowing the credit card to spend money on ANYTHING. I am overdue for an eye exam, but whenever I approach my dad about that, he'll complain about being broke. It's not just healthy food. It's any spending. It just so happens that the only time I borrow the credit card now is to buy healthy groceries for the household.

So, my new Sparkpeople plan

1. No going out with friends. No going to church. I will only leave my house to buy chicken breast and steamed vegetables or go to job interviews.

2. No junk food at all. Any amount of junk food is pure evil.My diet will consist of chicken and vegetables.




ERICADURR
Posts: 241
6/25/13 2:30 P

Pardon my language, but you have to be on crack to think a $4 bag of chips is more filling than $4 worth of tomatoes. It may be more appetizing, but it is in no way more filling. And for $4, I can get a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread. Far more nutritious and filling than a bag of potato chips.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 2:26 P

I had a nice supply of giftcard money for Starbucks, and I only order unsweetened iced tea- not the $5 drinks. I've also collected spare change to use with Coinstar for my giftcard.

Once again. I USE BUY ONE GET ONE FREE COUPONS AND GIFTCARDS FOR EATING OUT. Often, my friend buys his entree, and I get one for free, or he'll treat if he's desperate to go out and I don't have the money or coupons. Why is this so hard to understand?

I don't go out every day. I go out maybe a 2-3 times a week. Most of the time, I sit around at home doing nothing. I went out almost every day in the past, but I've cut back significantly. I'm just not going to make a lot of major changes for eating out right away. I'm going to focus on making some big steps at home first, and then conquer dining out.

And my dad will ask if I need anything from the grocery store. I'm more likely to get something if I ask for chips or snack cakes. I've asked for fruit before, and he'll either come back with nothing because it was too expensive, or he'll come back with fruit that is bruised or just not good.

Plus, a bag of chips is the same cost as a container of tomatoes (if not less). The chips are more filling. If I get the tomatoes, I'll still need to spend more money on food, but the chips will sustain me for a meal and snacks.



BUNNYKICKS
Posts: 2,292
6/25/13 2:25 P

I'm not even going to address the laundry list of excuses, justifications, rationalizations, and petulant whining.....

But I will address this:

"I feel like you are twisting my words around, Bunny. My dad never says "You are spending too much money on healthy food." He just starts complaining about money in GENERAL"

Now let's look at your actual words, that you say I am twisting. Here is an exact copy-and-paste, no twisting:

"This last time I got off track was because I ran out of food. My dad's been making me feel guilty about any money spent lately, so I haven't asked to borrow the credit card to go shopping for food. My dad is the kind of person who will complain about being broke, but always has money for his junk food and Coke Zero. If I go a week or two without eating junk food, he'll complain more about not having money, and I'm often "cut off" from buying groceries for a week or two. During that time, I have to make due with what's around. That means a week without fruit/veggies if my unemployment check for the week is already going to pay for other expenses."

Yes, "If i go a week or two without eating junk food... i'm "cut off" from buying groceries."

Those are your words. I am twisting nothing.




ERICADURR
Posts: 241
6/25/13 2:23 P

Coupons will not cover the cost of an entire meal. I don't know how you're getting giftcards to cover two meals out a week, but I have never gotten that many giftcards or coupons.

So, what to do when your friends and you go out during dinner time? SIMPLE: DON'T GO OUT. That's easy enough. You save money. You get home at a reasonable time in which you can make yourself some dinner. This is a choice. You are not required to go out with your friends every single week after church. It's an absolutely absurd argument.

Dinner before church ALSO is an option. Eat a very light meal at 5:00, then eat the other half when you get home.

If you eat dinner at a reasonable time for you at home, you're right: there is no point in going out at all. Honestly, if you've already eaten, why would you go out anyway? This makes no sense.

Plain and simple: you're choosing to make excuses rather than to address your health. You refuse to make healthy decisions, and no one can force you to do it. If you wanted, there are other things you can do to hang out with your friends. I invite friends over all the time and cook them dinner. I realize this may not be an option. So what? Go to the library and hang out! Go grocery shopping at Walmart, hang out and chat and laugh while getting healthy foods, and go home. Go to a local park and look at the clouds. JUST STOP EQUATING HANGING OUT WITH EATING.

BTW: Plain grilled chicken breast and broccoli are filling. The endless junk and carbs and sugars you're feeding yourself are not. I guarantee you if you sat down and ate 1000 calories worth of grilled chicken breast and broccoli like you do with junk food, you wouldn't be able to eat for hours. It's purely psychological and an excuse.

I realize some may perceive this as harsh, but it's true. You do not burn calories or build health by making excuses. You do it by making wise (and sometimes tough) decisions over the long-haul.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 2:14 P

Eating is always going to be in my social calendar. We might decide to go to the mall and walk around, but it will be before or after dinner. Or, we'll take a trip into NYC and walk there- but there will be a couple meals, gelato, a trip to Chobani SoHo, etc.

We are working on getting more active, but we do go out during dinnertime, so we will be getting something to eat. We have gone out for walks, and we eventually want to start going to the gym together, but afterwards, we will get dinner. Eating at either one of our houses is rarely an option, and we don't want to hang out for an hour and go back home.



ICEDEMETER
Posts: 698
6/25/13 2:06 P

From your posts here and elsewhere, it seems as though you are in a restaurant or Starbucks multiple times each week. It also seems that you are able to somehow supply yourself with an astonishing amount of junk food. Yet, you state that you are on an extremely limited budget, and dependent on your parents to supply you with grocery money

I would strongly suggest that you look in to some economic counselling, and learn how to properly prioritize your spending, and control your budget. Once you have that under control, it should leave you with enough funds to purchase appropriate amounts of healthy groceries. Granted, it will likely limit or "deprive" you of your frequent restaurant visits and create a need to make modifications in your social life (going out with friends for free activities instead of expensive meals, for example). It will, however, give you a more solid base for when you move out on your own and give you a better ability to look after yourself in a healthful way.

Apparently you have been raised with certain attitudes towards food and money, but you are an adult now and are responsible for learning healthier attitudes for yourself. At the very least, you should learn to differentiate between "need" and "want", and learn to prioritize those in the appropriate order.





FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 2:06 P

Erica- As I said before, I almost always use coupons and giftcards to cover the cost of a meal.

What am I supposed to do when my friends and I go out during dinner time and are hungry?

After church, if I go out and don't eat, I don't get home until 10-11pm, and then I have to cook dinner, eat, and clean. At that point, I'm ravenous, and I'll eat just about anything.

And eating dinner before church isn't an option. That would mean eating dinner at 5pm which is too early, and if I get a job, that may be impossible to fit into my schedule.

If I eat dinner at a reasonable time for me at home, then there's no point in going out at all. That would mean going out at around 9pm. The malls are closed by then, and on some days, we'd only have an hour to hang out. WE GO OUT DURING DINNERTIME. Plain and simple.

I suppose I'll just stop going out with friends. I'll socialize over Facebook from now on, and eat plain grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli (which isn't filling, by the way) at home.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 1:58 P

I almost always have coupons for eating out, and when it comes to Applebee's and Cheesecake Factory my best friend usually has giftcards from his grandmother, so that cuts the cost significantly.

I feel like you are twisting my words around, Bunny. My dad never says "You are spending too much money on healthy food." He just starts complaining about money in GENERAL, so I back off. When he goes on and on complaining, it gives me panic attacks among other things, so I just don't even ask to borrow the credit card for fruit and vegetables. I just realized that he tends to do this more when people are trying to eat healthier; I did not realize this connection until recently.

I do spend my own money to supplement what my dad is willing to buy, but sometimes, I don't even have the money for that.

I love ordering from the light menus at places. Some menus are better than others. At Ihop, I like real bacon and real eggs, so I do order off the regular menu, but I substitute fruit for the hash browns. Plus, ordering from the lighter menu means there is a better chance of having veggies on the menu. I'll admit that fries are a favorite of mine, however, so I like options with 2 different sides so I can still get my fries in on occasion.

I generally only need cheese when it's a very flavorful cheese. Shredded parmesan strips on a caesar salad (especially at CPK) or feta cheese is a huge winner. If it's a meal where the flavor will be lost, there's no need. I don't order cheese on my Subway ham sandwich because I never taste it anyway. Usually "cheddar" in a restaurant is mild, flavorless cheddar anyway, so I can take it or leave it. The cheddar in the vegetable salad at Cheesecake Factory, however, is chunks of sharp, white cheddar, so I'm going to leave that in.

As far as sauces go, I can't give up hot wings with ranch dressing (though I rarely have them), and there are a couple dipping sauces I love. I don't eat mayo or ketchup though, and when it comes to dressing, I almost always order olive oil and vinegar instead of salad dressing. I'm even eager to go to Panera and try their hidden menu salads that have olive oil and lemon juice!

I may have to try the fork-dip method for salad dressing at CPK though because that's the one time I will order dressing.

Clark- I should clarify that I used to be a very skinny kid. I went to all you can eat buffets on a regular basis. I knew all the tricks to eat as much as possible (I had to get my money's worth- especially as the price rose as I got older), and I've perfected pacing myself so I can eat as much as possible without feeling overly stuffed. HOWEVER, I didn't start gaining weight until I was around 14. That's when I discovered the internet (Myspace and message boards). I also realized that I could save the $2 or so I was able to get as "lunch money" on occasion, and instead of spending it on a measly portion of bad food from the school cafeteria, I could make it stretch further and buy TWO bags of potato chips.





ERICADURR
Posts: 241
6/25/13 1:56 P

Agree with Bunny. I realize these meals don't seem like a lot of money at the time, but for the cost of these meals over a month, you could buy some great, clean, healthy, and filling meals. I know you like the social aspect, etc., but you need to find another way to socialize and start cooking and eating your food at home.



BUNNYKICKS
Posts: 2,292
6/25/13 1:24 P

I find it a bit incongruous to read about how your dad won't let you buy groceries if you spend too much on healthier, non-junk-foods, alongside so many posts discussing regular restaurant meals.

You could skip steak at Applebees, and use the fifteen bucks to supply yourself with appropriate healthy food to supplement what your dad is willing to buy...........




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LGREGG07
SparkPoints: (23,158)
Fitness Minutes: (65,276)
Posts: 117
6/25/13 1:20 P

Another tip for cutting calories while eating out is that you can ask to have the sauce or dressing on the side. Then you can control how much you use. Also, skip the cheese or ask for less or ask for a substitute type of cheese, like provolone instead of cheddar for example. Or order from the "light" menu. Like at the cheesecake factory, these meals are already under a certain number of calories, so that you can still enjoy eating the full meal, but not having to worry/stress about eating 1000+ calories at once. Plus, many of those dishes have veggies as a side dish instead of fries.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 1:04 P

Here's the thing about a veggies at a restaurant rule. It actually can make a big difference.

Say I go to Applebee's. If I have a rule to order veggies, I will more likely get the steak rather than the riblets with fries. Even if I get fries with the steak, I will be saving 300-900 calories depending on if I bring home leftovers, what size sirloin I order, and whether I'm comparing to the riblet basket or platter.



CLARK971
Posts: 687
6/25/13 10:22 A

I feel bad that you are in such an unhealthy home environment regarding food. I have two children and it makes me sad that someone is affecting their child's life in a negative way with food. It is very unhealthy. it is a parent's job to take care of their child. And feeding a child junk food, all you can eat buffets, etc and allowing that child to become obese while growing up is sad. You did not have a positive role model regarding food.

It is like an alcoholic trying to get sober when living with addicts. Since there is no talking or reasoning with your dad, I hope you can find the strength to resist the daily temptations and try not to let him affect you any more.

Edited by: CLARK971 at: 6/25/2013 (11:26)


FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 9:26 A

My best friend and I usually order different entrees, but split a dessert and appetizer. I'm ok with this though. I would rather split an entree with myself. If makes lunch planning that much easier.

I've ordered salads for dinner, but I'm not the biggest fan of a lot of restaurant salads. Besides, I can almost always find something in my calorie range if I look. I've tried eating before the restaurant, and that usually backfires. My friend runs late, we hit traffic, there's a wait. By the time we eat, it's time for my next meal, and I'm hungry again.

Most places here won't let me order from the kid's menu. I'm over the ages of 10-12. I have tried a couple times, but it's hopeless.

Most low carb sweets are artificially sweetened, and those make me sick. I cannot eat them.

And there is nothing I can do about my dad. Trust me, my mom has a bigger voice in these things, and she can't get thorough to him.



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (124,938)
Fitness Minutes: (32,590)
Posts: 21,240
6/25/13 3:48 A

Are you able to order a child's portion of something you like, or an entree so that temptation isn't so much in your way to clean a larger amount up? Are your friends willing to go halves in a meal? What about making a healthy sandwich and eating that just before you go, and maybe having a small salad and ask for the dressing to be on the side, and just put a little on ... IF you need a dressing. Personally, I'm not that keen on them.

IF you feel like you need to buy sweets, why not buy a zero carb packet of individually wrapped ones. There are less in them in a packet, and they are a lot less in the calorie department. I get a packet each week, there are 18 in there, and that lasts me the week - AND I share them with my grandson. 10 calories per piece.

As far as your Dad is concerned, I wouldn't mind betting he KNOWS that he should be losing weight too, but may be too afraid to try, and in the process envies that you want to. It COULD be why he is controlling in the food department. Has his Dr ever referred him to a Therapist to help him with HIS food (and other related) issues? - 3-400lb, and there definitely are those issues there. The help can be accessed for free in a lot of cases - you just have to know how to go about it.

Kris



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/25/13 3:05 A

So far, making small changes is motivating me in the right direction. I think I am going to just continue to add a new challenge every week or two. Next week is about eliminating chips and sweets at home. I'm also going to set a goal to have vegetables or fruit when eating out. Even if it's just a Caesar side salad with my sandwich at Houluhans or ordering smashed pea and barley soup at CPK. My idea is to gradually add different things to my menu, so I can't eat as much junk. I'm also going to start requesting thin crust pizzas there, and I'll start putting half of my portion (1/4 of the pie) aside for lunch the next day. I'm planning on doing that with some or all of most meals (some things don't keep well overnight).



ERICADURR
Posts: 241
6/25/13 12:13 A

That's because sometimes, you just have to do it. And yes, you might fall off the wagon, but you get back on that damn wagon and keep on. You don't use one day's failure to completely leave the wagon behind. The point is that you spend more time talking about setting goals than actually working toward obtaining them. Failure doesn't mean failing for one day. It means failing to keep trying. And if you give up every time you suffer a bump in the road, then you're NEVER going to get there. You just have to take the good with the bad, and JUST DO IT.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 11:55 P

Actually, I don't eat outside the home every day, so that is incorrect. I also don't get dessert every time I eat out. Most times, I do, but it isn't every time. You'll never see me get dessert at Ruby Tuesday, for example (though I will admit, that makes it more likely to be a froyo night).

Besides, this week I'm not making any major changes to my diet. I know I am, in part, putting things off. However, I want to get a clear idea of how much I need to cut back on my calories. If I'm eating an average of 1,000 more than I should, then I might need to bring my caloric intake down more slowly than if I'm eating 400 over.

I'm not trying to exercise all of my excess calories away. I'm just tracking my calorie goals based on the idea that weight loss comes down to eating less than you burn. I figure I will burn a little more and eat a little less to reach my goals. I'm just putting a little more effort into activity week one because I'm more motivated in that department.

Starting Friday, I'm cutting store bought sweets from my diet (snack cakes) and my barbecue chips. I'm going to see how long I can go without them. I'm preparing ideas for healthier swaps to wean me off. I might not cut a drastic amount of calories from the chips right away, but I should be cutting back a little at least, and triscuits with a dip made of Greek yogurt and ranch dressing mix is certainly a better choice than those chips.

You say "just do it," but that has been my approach in the past. I've jumped into diet plans and failed miserably. Now, I'm giving smaller goals another go around. I'm just having trouble finding balance between goals that are too small to make a difference, and goals that are too big to keep.



ERICADURR
Posts: 241
6/24/13 11:00 P

It seems like you eat at least one meal outside of your home per day anyways. Which means you're having dessert every single day. You've got to stop consuming 1000 calories per meal and thinking you can "exercise" it away. It's disordered thinking and leads to your binge/purge cycle.

Stop making "goals." Stop making excuses. Just do it.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 6:10 P

I apologize, Bunny. There was a miscommunication on my part. The starving/binge-diet cycle was with following Weight Watchers or Spark ranges. Actually, I decided to switch to the TDEE-20% method after one of my binges. I was up 4 pounds when I started. A week later, I lost that weight and THEN a little more. Previously, it would have taken me weeks to lose that weight. It just happened that we ran out of groceries the following week, and with my dad complaining about being broke, I told him that I'd be able to live without fruit or vegetables for another week or two.

The Monkey bread was actually on sale for around $2, not $4-5, and I actually ate it slowly over the course of several hours. It was just easier to track it in one place. I know eating the entire pan was too much. It wasn't even as good as the monkey bread at this one restaurant in a nearby town, but I was thinking it would be, and once I started, I was unable to stop. I honestly did put it away for a little while. I had every intention of saving some for later, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I ended up reheating it and eating the whole thing in one day.

Talking to my dad won't work. I've tried. My entire family is obese. At 190 pounds, I'm the thinnest in the family. My dad is the kind of person who gets resentful if my mom or I start eating healthier. He'll make rude remarks on us not being allowed to eat pizza because we are "dieting" or he'll suddenly decide to complain about money whenever I want to go pick up some produce. Usually, I just give up trying to lose weight until he's calmed down, but the cycle tends to repeat itself. I actually do have a little bit of healthy food (some Pictsweet vegetables and Chobani), and my mom wants to get some healthy groceries this week, which should help me out immensely. I'm just, personally, running on a very tight budget for the next few days. I'm waiting for my next unemployment check, and my car needs gas.

My dad is probably 300-400 pounds at the very least (he won't step on a scale). He is on blood pressure medication and uses a machine for his sleep apnea. Still, he has no desire to make any changes regarding his own health/weight- and he doesn't want anyone else to make changes either. My dad really isn't one who can be reasoned with, but since I don't have the means to live by myself, I'm stuck here.

Kiwi- I feel like you're telling me that you can't eat junk food and lose weight. I'm not sure agree with you. I am, however, aware that I, personally, may not be able to eat junk food in multi-serving containers and lose weight.

In all honesty, I really have been thinking about cutting out sweets. Then, I get into the "buts" of it. "But my Birthday is Saturday." "But what if we go here tomorrow?"

When I cut out soda, it was more of a "hey, let's see how long I can do this" thing. When I cut out other liquid calories, I originally decided to cut them out except for special occasions like going to Starbucks with someone other than my best friend. When one of those special occasions came up, I decided to order an unsweetened iced tea and challenged myself to go a year without liquid calories. That year ended on January 2, 2012, and I'm still going strong. Once I started going, I didn't want to break the streak.

Still, cutting out all sweets isn't realistic for me. However, I can see how long I can go without bringing pre-packaged sweets home. This includes snack cakes, cookies, monkey bread, etc I'll stick with fruit and yogurt when I want something sweet (though, I'm debating whether to include Kashi Crispy bars in this list of food to avoid. Probably). The one thing that will be tough is my new love of Oreos dipped in milk, but I'll be ok for a little while without those.

I'll still eat dessert, but I'll limit it to eating outside of the home.

The chips will be harder to do without. I've already limited myself to two brands of chips, but it's not enough. I need to get myself off them because I can't control my portions. I just can't find a good swap that works for me. Because chips are the first thing I go for when I feel a binge coming on.





CLARK971
Posts: 687
6/24/13 5:02 P

Bunnykicks and kiwi have some really great advice.

You are very young and have been struggling with your weight for a while. If your parents are unwilling to give you the support you need, I am guessing there have been unhealthy food issues at your house for quite awhile. Have you talked your family about wanting to get healthy and how you think their actions are hurting you? If you can't talk to them, is their a counselor or someone at church you can talk to?

Maybe if your doctor told your parents you need to lose weight, they would be more willing to help.

Good luck.


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LGREGG07
SparkPoints: (23,158)
Fitness Minutes: (65,276)
Posts: 117
6/24/13 4:48 P

Have you tried explaining to your dad that you are trying to eat healthier and want to get more fruit, veggies, etc. at the store? Maybe if you explain it to him, he might be more willing to allow you to borrow his card to get the groceries that will help with your weight loss goals. I just recently started explaining to my parents that I am trying to lose some weight and they have been supportive of me and try to help me stay on my goals (even though they buy crackers, ice cream, and other unhealthy foods that I enjoy).

It's time to stop making excuses, though. If you want someone (outside your family) to help you, I will do my best to help, but you have to be READY for help. If you are willing to take my advice and actually try it (for more than 1 or 2 days and then say it doesn't work for you (I've been there, done that, and it just made me look stupid)), then I am willing to work with you and help you. Hey, it might even help me to stay on track too.



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (124,938)
Fitness Minutes: (32,590)
Posts: 21,240
6/24/13 4:05 P

I would respectfully suggest to you that you literally "want your cake and eat it too!!!"

IF you genuinely want to lose weight, then there has to be give and take. You want the weight-loss, but the fact of the matter is, you just AREN'T prepared to make the effort to do something about it. "Want" isn't what loses the weight - "EFFORT" is what does it!!

You want you cake; you want your junk food - then be honest with yourself and admit that you aren't prepared to do the work to lose the weight!

It DOES take SOME work, but it needn't be as hard as you think! It comes down to calories in versus calories out - pure and simple. It doesn't matter how much exercise you do, it STILL comes down to food. It is your choice - eat sensibly and wisely, or eat the crap and continue being overweight!

Kris



BUNNYKICKS
Posts: 2,292
6/24/13 3:51 P

"I don't follow Spark ranges. I focus on eating 20% fewer calories than I burn. That's the one method that has never made me feel like I'm starving."

(30 minutes later)

"I'll lose maybe a pound one week. The, the next week, I'll lose nothing or even gain because I'm so freaking hungry that I can't take it anymore, and I have to eat."

------------------

Ok so wait In the first post you say this eating-20%-less idea of yours is the one method that never leaves you feeling starved. A couple posts later, you admit that this method does not result in weight loss because it leaves you "so freaking hungry." Which is quite the opposite of "never leaving you feeling starved."

And uhm. Ok. So your dad is totally cool with you eating a full pan (8 servings, 1600 calories) of Monkey Bread ($4-$5) in one sitting and calling it lunch, but would rage and cut you off your food allowance if you had a serving of yogurt and some fruit instead (which would come to much less than $4-$5 bucks)? Gosh, if you were low on food and had nothing to eat but Monkey Bread and no money to buy anything more.... - you might have tried spreading it out over 4 meals.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 3:27 P

Bunny- I'll lose maybe a pound one week. The, the next week, I'll lose nothing or even gain because I'm so freaking hungry that I can't take it anymore, and I have to eat. When I eat too little I go on a binge/diet cycle.

This last time I got off track was because I ran out of food. My dad's been making me feel guilty about any money spent lately, so I haven't asked to borrow the credit card to go shopping for food. My dad is the kind of person who will complain about being broke, but always has money for his junk food and Coke Zero. If I go a week or two without eating junk food, he'll complain more about not having money, and I'm often "cut off" from buying groceries for a week or two. During that time, I have to make due with what's around. That means a week without fruit/veggies if my unemployment check for the week is already going to pay for other expenses.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 2:31 P

I've tried eating smaller meals. It doesn't work for me.

I've also gone days eating almost no processed foods (aside from veggie burgers and flavored Chobani). However, eventually I run out of food and money to buy food, and I'm stuck with the junk food my dad buys (the healthier I try to eat, the more he buys).


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LGREGG07
SparkPoints: (23,158)
Fitness Minutes: (65,276)
Posts: 117
6/24/13 1:46 P

If you can't find a way to stop cold turkey then you need to stop making excuses for yourself and make the effort to change, meal by meal. Make it a RULE not a goal to have at least one meal a day 100% healthy (no processed food or junk food) and build from there. You can only change your body if you are willing to make the changes and get self-control, which I know is very difficult, but you can do it if you put the effort in. Also, another way to feel as though you aren't starving while on your weight loss journey is to eat smaller meals through out the day. Have you considered trying that?



BUNNYKICKS
Posts: 2,292
6/24/13 1:30 P

"That's the one method that has never made me feel like I'm starving."

Has it resulted in weight loss?



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 1:23 P

Do you know what happens every time I cut out junk food cold turkey? I binge, so obviously that doesn't work.

I don't follow Spark ranges. I focus on eating 20% fewer calories than I burn. That's the one method that has never made me feel like I'm starving.



LADYSTARWIND
SparkPoints: (20,625)
Fitness Minutes: (16,831)
Posts: 1,169
6/24/13 12:47 P

"Right now, I'm eating a net of 2100-2700 calories (that's the calories consumed minus calories burned). I should be eating a net of around 1600."

If you are already subtracting your "exercise calories"...then you are consuming in excess of 3000 calories a day!!! WHAT IS THE RANGE SPARK GIVES YOU??!!

If you "know" you should be eating around 1600....and you "want" a middle ground, then choose to eat a TOTAL ---not a "net"--a TOTAL of LESS THAN 2000. Then you will start losing weight! The Math cannot be changed: calories in...calories out equals weight loss or weight gain....!!!

You need to stop complaining and figuring out and rationalizing that you simply "can't give up this or that"...No more "I'm eventually", I'm apprehensive" "I plan to" "It isn't worth it". Take Nike's Logo: JUST DO IT and Hit The Trail!!
YOUR CHOICE....Your Consequence...(and that's another of Life's Laws that can't be changed.)

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 6/24/2013 (12:51)

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LGREGG07
SparkPoints: (23,158)
Fitness Minutes: (65,276)
Posts: 117
6/24/13 12:22 P

You have to do what is right for your lifestyle, but eventually you will have to take the time to prepare better meals for yourself. I'm sorry if I come off sounding rude or mean or anything, but I want you to be able to reach your goals and be proud of yourself. Sometimes starting "cold turkey" helps to kick start your lifestyle changes. Throw out the junk and eat the foods you know you should be eating. You will find that you can eat more and more often (which is better for your metabolism) if you cut out all the processed foods. I think that sometimes we hide behind tracking for awareness instead of diving right in to get started. Using your hiking analogy, you are sitting in your car looking at your map instead of getting out and climbing that trail. Just do it! Again, I apologize if I come acrioss as rude, but I have been in your shoes time and time again and I think that you just need to get started!




FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 12:03 P

I took a peek at your My Fitness Pal food journal and I would recommend that you try and eat more protein and less processed sugars/carbs. It will help you feel fuller longer and help to build lean muscles (and aid with muscle recovery after workouts).

- I definitely know I eat a lot of junk. Part of it is laziness on my part. Face it. A bag of chips is easier to prepare than frozen chicken breasts. I'm definitely going to make some changes, but this week is more about building awareness so I know how big of a change I need to make.

I have considered the switch to 2% milk, but it does make me a bit apprehensive. Besides, there's only a 10 calorie difference. It hardly seems worth it for 10 calories.

I'm going to eventually swap out my usual sweets/desserts at home for fruit. I figure an entire bag of frozen cherries at Target is lower in calories than 2 Zebra cakes (1 twin pack).

I have done a lot of research on what does and doesn't work for me. I love this method where my calorie goals can increase if I'm more active. I know I've had plenty of days where I've been up on my feet walking in place because I overate a little (or a lot) at dinner. Being able to make steps to undo the damage and get myself out of the red does help me. Plus, knowing that if I don't move, I'll have to limit myself to 1,600 calories a day is another motivator. Eating over 2,000 is a nice treat.



MARIAS2011
Posts: 5
6/24/13 11:56 A

Snacking is a huge problem for me too. I try not to keep any trigger foods in the house; instead, try to keep cottage cheese or yogurt around for snacks. If you can just switch a couple of snack items around, it makes a difference. Also, keep logging in everything you eat because it can identify your pitfalls.


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LGREGG07
SparkPoints: (23,158)
Fitness Minutes: (65,276)
Posts: 117
6/24/13 11:42 A

I took a peek at your My Fitness Pal food journal and I would recommend that you try and eat more protein and less processed sugars/carbs. It will help you feel fuller longer and help to build lean muscles (and aid with muscle recovery after workouts). Try to make a good effort to fit in more fruits and veggies and fiber in your meals/snacks (maybe try swapping one snack to a veg of your choice at least 1x a week?). Also, since you like to drink whole milk, why not try 2%? That's one way to cut back on calories without sacrificing your glass of milk.
I have had my fair share of diet struggles over the years and am making an effort to track everything accurately again. I'm still not happy with my progress either, but I am back with a ton more research/knowledge about what works and doesn't work for me. It is all about baby steps as people have said. Dieting is different for everyone, but sometimes you just have to dive right in and stick with it! You CAN and WILL do it (:



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/24/13 10:07 A

Right now, I'm eating a net of 2100-2700 calories (that's the calories consumed minus calories burned). I should be eating a net of around 1600.

I know that climbing down gradually will be a slow process and jumping down is a recipe for disaster. I wish there was a middle-of-the-line option.

If I still drank soda, I know I'd be able to cut out hundreds of calories a day by cutting out soda, juice, slurpees, milkshakes, frappucinos, and the like. However, I already cut all those out years ago. The only liquid calories I consume are whole milk on occasion (which I'm not willing to change) and a couple times a year, I'll have a decaf iced coffee with vanilla soy milk.

I'm not sure of anything that I'd be willing to eliminate from my current diet though. I suppose I'd be ok to eliminate snack cakes and other sweets at home- just sticking to dessert when eating out (I split dessert when eating out, but at home, I'll eat an entire box of Zebra Cakes). However, I'm not willing to give up Oreos (regular, not double stuffed)- not that I have them often, and I can stick to the smaller sleeves rather than a larger box.

Any other ideas for simple changes- eliminations or swaps- that can help me cut calories without feeling deprived? I may not be able to handle cutting out barbecue chips, but I think I can deal with swapping chips for pretzels most of the time.Though, that one change alone doesn't seem very significant.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/23/13 8:54 P

I have 8.5 inch plates that use for meals (though, I do use my huge dinner plate for salads). I rarely, if ever, use big plates for meals, but that hasn't made too much of a difference for me weight-loss wise on its own. I also have a scale and when I'm counting calories, I weigh every single thing.





KIM___
Posts: 278
6/23/13 6:52 P

I've found making 'new habits' or little changes help a lot.
I don't eat while reading
I don't eat while on the computer
I don't eat while cross-stitching (a hobby)

I also bought cheap K-mart seasonal plates (off-season) that were smaller than regular plates. A serving size on these plates/bowls actually looks like a serving size.

I have a kitchen scale (around $20 on amazon, look for good reviews) that I measure things on to get a realistic idea of serving sizes. I've done it so much now I only use it for foods that I haven't had before or forgot what a serving looks like.

Making a few rules, one a week, eases you into a healthy lifestyle. I made those rules years ago and now they're such a habit I still follow them.

Good luck! Remember Baby Steps are easier to integrate into your life.



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/23/13 4:01 P

I signed up in 2009 after I realized I was old enough for the real Spark site (I was on SparkTeen before). Thing is, I've gotten on several wrong trails. Some have lead to dead ends. Others, I learned I wasn't equipped to handle some of the obstacles. Lately, I've been researching the right trail for me, but part of me is circling around looking for the entrance, but another part is unsure I'm even prepared.

For me, my path is eating a 20% reduction of my TDEE and exercising regularly. Driving around looking for the parking lot is me making these little changes like eating 3 colors of produce a day. It's trying to figure out how to get from where I am now to being on my way on the path- in a safe manner so I don't lose my way and wander back to the beginning.

Edited by: FTSOLK at: 6/23/2013 (16:06)


LADYSTARWIND
SparkPoints: (20,625)
Fitness Minutes: (16,831)
Posts: 1,169
6/23/13 3:52 P

Nice image since I love hiking.

The only problem dear is that according to your Spark Page, you have been circling your car, and/or getting lost on side trails since 2009!!

You need to decide on 2 or 3 simple, concrete goals....and hit the Trail!
You've been doing this long enough that you Have the Knowledge you Need (your Map!!) and the Energy (your basic health!) Stop planning, and start hiking! Life is not getting any longer, and This is Not a Dress Rehersal. Its one long journey, and you decide where you will go.

The view from the end is really great--Go For It!!
patti


Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 6/23/2013 (15:56)


FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/23/13 3:33 P

This is the way I picture it.

Imagine your weight loss journey is a hike. I know where I'm starting, where I'm finished, and what path to take. I also know that there will be ups and downs, times I may trail off the path, and chances to explore other paths on my way to my final destination.

Right now, I'm circling around in my car trying to figure out where the entrance to the parking lot is located.

Does that make any sense?



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/23/13 1:07 P

I do have a reason for my 10,000 step rule. If I set a goal to just exercise 10 minutes a day, that is all I will do. My 10,000 step rule keeps me from sitting around all day.

I certainly agree that my 10,000 steps can be counted as exercise. However, when I was employed I would hit that goal just working. I also want to increase my fitness level and add in strength training.

This isn't 10,000 steps excluding my workout steps. If I am having a low step day, I will probably select more step oriented wii fit activities.



ANNROW0354
Posts: 603
6/23/13 11:51 A

I think everyone who has ever "dieted" is afraid of crashing and burning when they begin a new eating program. The one thing I have learned after years of yo-yo dieting is that no one plan fits everyone's lifestyle. You have to find what works best for you. I have gone back and forth on the importance of tracking what I eat but if I am truly honest with myself I know that it keeps me accountable to MYSELF. I can't pretend that I didn't eat that much if it is right in front of me on paper (or a computer). Your exercise goals are very ambitious and I'd like to say that if you can get in 10,000 steps/day without considering it "exercise", than you are a better person than me. I walk at a 3.3-3.5 mph speed and that is only about 7000 steps/hour.
Don't worry so much about setting so many goals and concentrate on the positive changes to your diet and physical activity program that you have set for yourself. You will know when you are ready to add additional changes and pretty soon those small changes will bring big results.

Good luck!

Ann emoticon



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/23/13 7:24 A

Kiwi- Trust me, I know that exercise will not make up for a cruddy diet. However, I also know that I'm more emotionally ready for fitness goals since I haven't been trying and failing on those.

Besides, when I start working out and watching what I eat, I'm more likely to make better choices because I don't want to undo my hard work.

Part of me wants to jump back into staying in my calorie range, but I'm a little afraid of not being a me to do it again. I've already decided, at least for now, my goal will be to stay in my calorie range 5-6 days per week or around 80% of the time.

I'm just afraid that the small changes I'm making won't be enough, but the bigger changes will be too much.



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (124,938)
Fitness Minutes: (32,590)
Posts: 21,240
6/23/13 3:22 A

I think you are jumping into the 28 day boot camp far too soon! It will come back and bite you in the butt!

BABY steps are what you need. You might exercise your butt off in the boot camp, BUT that isn't going to make up for a cruddy diet. THAT is where you need to be focusing now. And yes, I acknowledge that you have made inroads in that department, but you still have plenty of work there - don't go putting even more pressure on you. MOST of weight loss comes from the nutrition!

Kris



FTSOLK
Posts: 1,205
6/22/13 9:32 P

I've been giving small changes another try, and so far, they're going well. Right now, my goals are just to walk 10,000 steps a day, exercise for 10 minutes, eat 3 different colors of produce, and track my intake.

After seeing how much I've been eating, part of me wants to jump back into full-diet mode. However, that has never worked for me. I always end up doing so well- for a short while at least. Then, I crash and burn.

So, I thought gradual changes would work well, but I'm also a bit impatient. I've decided to jump in and start the Sparkpeople 28 Day Bootcamp next Friday (with a Walk Away the Pounds video on cross-training days).

I've considered several ideas to cut calories. Unfortunately, I cut out soda ages ago, so I can't try that clever calorie-cutting trick. The only liquid calories I drink come from whole milk, and I'm not willing to give that up.

I know my biggest vice is junk food. I've tried going cold-turkey on it, but that doesn't fare well in the end. I've cut back a lot, but I still eat way too much junk and not enough real food. I've considered setting a goal where one meal a day, to start, needs to be on the healthy side. That means, if I'm not eating well in the morning, and we go to Cheesecake factory at night, I'm ordering off the SkinnyLicious Menu. Still, cutting back calories on one meal won't be enough. I've also considered other goals: eating a yogurt every day, making sure there is a fruit/veggie with every meal, and just drinking more water.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, however. I do things in an all or nothing fashion. I either need to be perfectly good, or I'm a disaster. I'm trying to overcome that, but it's hard. Due to my need to take things slowly, but my desire to jump all-into a diet, I've set up a reward system that allows me to earn stickers for completing my goals. I'm only allowed to earn a daily sticker on my reward chart if I reach all goals. I know that if I'm unable to reach a goal one day, it won't ruin me, but I still can't handle that.

I've considered an idea for some diet goals like cutting out certain foods (like fries, potato chips, and other fried foods), or staying in my calorie range. I may allow myself to earn daily credit for up to 2 days per week that I don't reach those goals. This will allow me to get used to practicing moderation and following an 80/20 rule. Of course, some rules (like water and 3 colors of produce) will be daily goals. Staying in my calorie range, however, may be a rule that I only need to do 5 or days a week to stay on track. Heck, maybe I'll start with one day and work my way up from there.

Any ideas?



 
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