Strangers here don't have a personal attachment to you, so for some reason can give an opinion without any strings attached. I guess what I mean is that sometimes those we love can hurt us the most, because there's an emotional attachment. They also don't always encourage us the way we need to - because they have their own needs they are looking for you to fulfill.
Because the Spark People community are all pretty much like-minded, you'll find the encouragement here. People throughout your life are all at different places physically, emotionally, mentally - and don't necessarily know what to say or how to say it, because they are not going through what you are, currently. Even those who have gone down the lifestyle change trail may wish to focus on their own journey, and give you stories about themselves, rather than supporting you.
Keep up the good work, and don't always expect the answers you want from others, though. Sometimes it's a "solo" project.
Fitness Minutes: (0)
6/15/12 6:39 A
I agree with you all & also wonder IF there's a BIT of jealousy on some peoples part because of success losing weight or a strong exercise program. I find that when others KNOW what they should do and aren't doing it, they often try to sabitoge us.
BUT, it is so awesome that we can here & get the encouragement & support because we all are on the same journey -just in different places along the way!
Continued success to us all!
Have an awesome day!
6/15/12 1:25 A
I find a lot of people, particularly at work, say supportive things like "that's great" or "Your looking really good" but then almost encourage you to cheat and eat biscuits cos they made them or cake cos it's someones birthday and get a little weird if you say no. They seem to always say "just a little wont hurt" but don't really think about how hard it's been for you to have gotten out of the habit of eating junk and how tempting it still is.
Fitness Minutes: (13,641)
6/14/12 11:56 P
I am convinced that our closest friends and family are uncomfortable with change..like a previous person posted..but not only do they feel uncomfortable..they deep down are watching to see if we will succeed. They are watching...for our strength..silently envying the good example we are..don't give up..and be that example they so desperately need. When its all said and done..ie...when we become healthier ...they will be vocal ..and share in our joy. Just hang in there..!!
We are so 'IN THE ZONE' on Spark, and can freely express our joy, exuberance, and support, that the 'outside world' sometimes is dull, dim, and depressing.
I agree with the previous poster- that IS what makes and has MADE this time around such a huge difference.
Keep on going- you will inspire someone sooner or later!
Fitness Minutes: (51,855)
6/14/12 9:03 P
I think sometimes it's hard for the people we know to deal with big changes in how we behave and look.
Honestly, my mother is downright negative about my weight loss, and thinks I ought to gain some back! But I happened to have saved in my childhood bedroom my weigh-in card from my very first commercial weight loss program that she signed me up for back when I was about 16 -- and I'm at this moment only 5 pounds less than my starting weight on that program. But I'm the same height I was then, and only a slightly smaller size. She had just over many years gotten used to me being heavy, and really convinced herself that I'm "big boned" when I absolutely am not.
But others may just be uncomfortable bringing it up -- even though they might be silently cheer for you. Some people have eventually said they'd been rooting for me all along, but were afraid of making me self conscious.
Overall, it's more about them and their issues than what you're doing for yourself. Here, though, you've got a whole bunch of people who "get it" -- who understand what it takes to commit yourself to the goal of getting healthier, and that we all need support and encouragement sometimes. So glad it's here!
It may seem odd when you are really phsyched and ready to lose that weight. For those of us who have tried time and time and time again with diets and programs, our loved ones came along for the ride. They have seen us lose our momentum, get frustrated and/or get tempted to do the same 'ol thing.
Life is not waiting for the storms to pass..it's learning to dance in the rain.
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." - Scott Hamilton
Growing Up In the 70's Team Co-Leader
Fitness Minutes: (25,267)
346 6/14/12 11:42 A
I know how you feel. I think in general that people are afraid of change and when they see us taking control of our lives, it makes them uncomfortable...they don't want to have to look at themselves Keep up the good work and keep taking care of yourself!
"The most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why." Mark Twain
Fitness Minutes: (6,225)
2,240 6/14/12 11:05 A
I know EXACTLY what you mean! And I've said that same thing over and over so many times "I can't believe how much more support I get from strangers online than I do from my friends and family."
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