Fitness Minutes: (222,620)
21,780 1/18/12 11:13 A
Jenna, you took a very courageous step by posting your story.
Recovering from an eating disorder is not an easy thing. Are you working with your doctor or a good therapist who treats people with eating disorders ? If not, don't be afraid to ask for help. a good therapist can help you work through your issues.
Have you joined any of the Spark Teams for members recovering from eating disorders ? If not, you might want to do that. It's always good to have a support system and you may find talking with other people who've recovered from bulimia helpful.
You have to start telling yourself that you can and will become a healthier person. As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Start giving yourself credit for the healthy things you do for yourself during the day and try not to beat on yourself if you have some negatives. We all have negatives. The goal in life is to have the positives outnumber the negatives.
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
46,222 1/18/12 8:20 A
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure that took a lot of courage to do so.
Eating disorders can be quite complex and can involve such behavior as purging, binging, constant thoughts of food to not eating at all. Are you still getting help? If not, you may want to call the person who helped you out. SparkPeople is a wonderful community for support and encouragement, but sometimes we need a little help to get us past issues like these.
Below is a link to an article Coach Dean wrote about disordered eating. It is quite enlightening. It also has references at the end as to where to seek treatment.
Have you spoken to your doctor about your issues with food, and your past history of bulimia? I'm thinking it might be helpful to you to get a referral to a therapist who can help you, one who has experience or specializes in eating disorders.
Have you tried looking for a SparkTeam for people with similar issues, who could share their experiences and helpful tips with you? There are all different kinds of SparkTeams, age related or pounds to lose or hobbies, interests, health issues.
Please don't give up! Just by reaching out on this Message Board I can see you're really wanting to find a way to live a healthy lifestyle.
I don't know what you are going through but would like to let you know that I will pray for you. Thanks for sharing what is going on with you.
Fitness Minutes: (0)
1 1/18/12 2:56 A
I feel so lost right now. One year ago I weighed 145 lbs, it was the least I have ever weighed and even though it doesn't sound like a particularly low number, I am pretty tall & I felt great about myself then. The only problem is, I was extremely bulimic. Thankfully I was caught purging by a family member who had the courage to scare me straight and encourage me to get help, and I did. The only problem is, In the one year since I have stopped making myself throw up, I have gained 50 lbs! I now weigh 195 lbs and it is the most I have ever weighed in my life. (I am only 27) My BMI chart says I am obese. I am horrified. I have learned that I am not addicted to making myself throw up; I am addicted to food. I will literally lay awake at night, unable to sleep because I can't stop thinking about getting out of bed to eat. I will pace back and fourth around my house, ending up in tears because I want to eat junk food so badly, and as much as I tell myself not to deprive myself of anything & just practice portion control, it doesn't work that way for me. It's almost as if once I start eating, I can't stop. I actually think it is easier for me not to eat, then it is for me to eat just a small portion of something. Not that I'm particularly successful at either thing. I am much more depressed and introverted and anti social now because of my weight. It has affected my relationship with my boyfriend in a negative way because I have become so terribly insecure, and I never realized I was so vain, but honestly I don't think I will ever be okay with myself unless I know I am thin. When I start working out and getting on the right track I will do well for a week or two, maybe a month at the most, but as soon as I lose a few pounds, it's almost like I sabotage myself. I seem to think, "Well, I know I can do it now, and achieve it, so why not take a few days to be lazy and eat crappy food." Problem is, it never lasts a few days, and before I know it I have gained all the lost weight back and am back to being lazy and unmotivated again. I guess I'm just looking for some wise or uplifting words, or someone who has experienced something similar. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great night.
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