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| My guess is there is some emotional eating going on and those emotions need to be addressed. Is she happy at school, have lots of friends, active? I would not wait to get her help. The longer you wait the worse it will get.
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| I have to watch every bite that goes in my mouth or before I know it, I've gained 5 pounds... I have dealt with this my whole life and see my 12 year old daughter beginning in the same pattern. Thanks for all the ideas... I am trying to be a positive figure instead of the kitchen cabinet police officer! She gets so happy when I say "what a great choice!!!"
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TRI-ING40
5/31/08 10:36 P
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I have struggled with weight all of my life. I think I first started noticing I had a problem at age 7. The last thing I ever wanted was for my own children to struggle with weight but my soon to be 13 year old boy gets picked on at school for having a "belly" and my 11 year old boy worries about being fat ( he is about 95th percentile in weight) and my 7 year old daughter ( who is also 95th percentile) asks me if she is fat. None of them are grossly overweight but they all have the propensity to get out of control. I don't want them to suffer emotionally because of their weight and be subject to a lifetime of struggling. My plan is to help them all to develop healthy habits this summer and teach them the right and wrong ways to eat. I also hope to help them to love exercise and enter them in a kids triathlon so they will have a goal and a sense of accomplishment when they finish it.
I am really afraid for them and regret the way I have let them get. I have always thought if I didn't hassle them about weight and food and exercise they would self-regulate and only eat what they need and naturally get enough exercise through play. I was so wrong because kids naturally want to eat only the things that taste really good to them like sugary/salty processed food and given a choice my boys would rather sit in front of a screen than play outside.
So, all of that said, this summer I am taking them back and doing my best to put them on the right track to a healthy lifestyle. Nobody did this for me and my hope is that if I can point them in the right direction now they will not have to go through the heartache that I have suffered. I am also looking for help and suggestions...anything would be appreciatated.
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IAMATEACHER
5/31/08 4:24 P
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| Just last night I signed my 14 year old neice up for Teen Sparks. If has all the same type of features that we have, but aimed at targeting younger youth. My sister is a bit nervous about her becoming active as a teenager, since I had troubles with EDs when I was that age, but J needs to do something becuase her weight is out of control now. SHe is around 5'4 and weighs 184. That is about hpw much I weigh and I am 31 years old and near 5'6. Just a suggestion for the people out there with teenagers who need this support system that we receive at our SP site. I hope this helps.
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BRIGHTBOW- I love your suggestions for incorporating physical activity and rewarding the behavior, not the result. My daughter is only 13 and she weighs 145 lbs. No matter what I have tried, she just continues to binge and get bigger, it breaks my heart. As we speak she is at a pool party NOT swimming because she is now too big for her suit and doesn't like the way she looks in a new one. *sigh*
Anyway, I am going to try your chart suggestion for getting in some exercise, I really think it's stellar! 
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Is it any concern at all to focus on weight loss? Like offering clothes for pounds lost? (BTW I'm not picking, it sounds like that worked and you found a way to address the problem.) I'm just wondering if this will work in the long run and if it will cause any unhealthy dieting.
Again, I'm not picking, and I don't have teenagers of my own.
I know as a teenager I binged on junk all the time and never gained one pound... came back and bit me when I hit my mid 20s. Now I wish the basics of healthy eating and the principle of "just because something tastes good, doesn't mean you have to eat a lot of it" were addressed.
Anyway, what I was wondering is if anyone has ever tried a chart or something like that? Or do you think it would be effective to focus on one area of health, like if you do some activity for 30 mins. 5 days a week and keep it up for a month you get a reward... or eat 3 veggies a day for a certain time period to get a reward... Etc.
Just wondering if anyone thinks that would be helpful and possibly work better than a weight loss focus for rewards.
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ITSGOT-TOGO
5/29/08 5:00 P
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My 13 year old DD is a little over weight. She does not eat a lot of junk food but she loves food and has a problem with portion control. I try to be a good role model, by eating lots of fruits and veg and exercising. She goes to the gym with me when she can. Mainly when I talk to her I stress eating healthy, not dieting. She has given up soda, except now and again and has cut back on her juice consuption. She was drinking juice thinking it was healthier than soda which it is, but still has calories.
I feel for you, it is not an easy thing to talk to your kids about as you don't want them to feel less of a person or that you are picking on them. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction..good luck. 
Jayne
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| My 10 year old son is overweight and I have made it a rule that he is outside doing something active for at least an hour each day and with summer here it is easier because there is bike rides and swimming. still having a problem with him wanting to eat all the time because he is STARVING.
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IAMATEACHER
5/28/08 6:25 P
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| I agree that you can be the best role model for her. Just be careful that you don't push the loosing weight too much. My ED started with a helpful sister and docot who said that I needed to lose weight at about that same age. As much as I did need to loose the weight, I got out of control with the idea. And that was with my family watching and being able to trick them all. I am not saying that will happen, but just be careful. Try to focus more on the activity level and not just the weight issue. I am speaking from expereince.
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DALLASLADYBUG
5/28/08 1:40 P
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| I skimmed thru the post, and I think it was already addressed. I feel the best thing you can do is be the best role model for her. When I was a teen, I mainly ate because I was bored. And I had a friend I hung around that could eat anything and not gain weight.I understand you work, and I know it is so hard to entertain these children 24-7. I know activities cost a lot of money... around here the parks and rec. have summer day camps. maybe she could look in to being a counselor. some get paid- maybe she could volunteer. Or the boys and girls club has summer camp- I don't think it is a lot of money- and it would keep her busy all summer long.Just try and keep her busy-Some of the children's hospitals might let her come to the hospital and read or play with the children...Just some suggestions.. I just know I eat when I am bored- and forget about food when I am busy doing things that make me feel good.
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| Sounds like you found the nitch that works well for your daughter...good for you. Each child is different and finding what works for them can be so difficult!
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GIRLINMICH
5/18/08 9:56 P
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| I tried the whole buy a new clothing incentive and my daughter didn't care. So.. what I did. I buy kroger's water bottles in bulk, their 100 calorie snacks and make sure to always have some healthy foods (carrots, celery, etc). I let her make the choice when she gets home from school, but I limit the options. I bought her a new bike, and now she plays outside with her friends a ton. She's still a bit on the overweight size, but she is healthy, and looks good. I want her to feel the self confidence that she is now feeling, and give her the knowledge to make the right choices and the right portions
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MOTHEROF1+1
5/17/08 11:29 A
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Maria,
Yeah it sure sounds like you will be broke soon to me. But I know as parents we all do what we can to keep our kids motivated and away from the fatty and sugary foods. Even if you do not have them at home, I know from experience that they will find them at school or at a friends house. My daughter is 12 1/2, and she could eat til the cows came home. She has been on a swim team now for 6 years and you would think that she would be a bean pole by now, but it is just the opposite. She has maintained luckily a weight of 126 for a couple of years now, but we still watch her like a hawk. The biggest problem I have is she does not want to have lunch sent with her to school, she would rather stand in line with her friends. ( I think it is status thing). But when she is home I am like a hawk on a piece of fish, she is never out of my sight for more than 20 minutes. But I will have to say that I have been a major contributor to what is going on in our house for at least the first 10 years of her life. The only suggestion I can give you is to just keep an eye on her, and healthy foods, and maybe I know it may be embarrassing and i have had to do it, call the lunch ladies and tell them what is going on, and most of the time they actually can be little helping hands.
Tiffany
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I commend you for your efforts with your daughter. I work with overweight kids and I wish many of the parents were as concerned and as caring as you are! A positive and supportive parent can make all the difference!
Does she eat breakfast and lunch? If she's so hungry after school, she may not be eating enough during the day and when she gets home she eats more. Just a thought. Good luck and keep up the good work!
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SUZANNEYEA
5/15/08 6:50 A
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| Sorry if I sounded judgemental about the junkfood, it wasn't meant to be. Your daughter is very lucky to have a mom trying to help her through this, most parents pretend the problem does not exist. Keep up the good work.
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GODRULESALL
5/15/08 5:38 A
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| Try KIDENTICS.COM THEIRS FUN EXERCISES AND GAMES FOR kids TO DO MY SON WHO IS OVER WEIGHT TO LOVES IT.
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| Again just wanted to say that it sounds like you are doing an incredible job. Good for you!
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MARIA1965CANADA
5/13/08 7:26 A
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| SUZANNEYEA, I don't get junk food in the house. My daughter gained her weight more because she loves the actual food and doesn't know when to stop. She doesn't eat late either. She eats as soon as she comes from school and that's it. She is starting to work out more now that the weather is better. she is headed for the right direction and i'm very proud of her. I told her that for each pound she looses I will get her a new piece of wardrobe. She is all excited. I could be broke soon...lol but well worth every pound she looses. But I want to give her an incentive to loose as much as possible.
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Glad to hear that things are turning around for your daughter. Keep motivating her on the "right" track after the dress is reached.
From what you have posted you sound like you are doing things right.
It is hard being a kid with all the changes and pressures. During the summer I bulked up more because I was "bored" or whatever other excuse I came up with.
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SUZANNEYEA
5/12/08 6:47 A
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| Do you keep all the junk food and processed food out of the house? The less she has access to chips and stuff, the harder it will be to eat. I know, we get cravings late at night in our family, but we literally have no snack food, so we just deal. At 9:00 everyone is too lazy to cook something, there is always fruit. But, no easy food like chips or cookies.
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| Good for you! Sounds like you have done an incredible job helping your daughter. Great job!
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MARIA1965CANADA
5/11/08 6:55 A
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Thank you for your feedback everyone. I talked to m doctor about my daughter and she told me to just be careful with what I give her to eat. Also do more activities with her. So, I am going swimming more often with her and also she has a friend that is also a bit overweight and they ask me if they could go walking together in the evenings. I let her go and she comes back sweating from walking so much. Now she got her grad dress in the mail and it's small....I told her that I would get her a new one. She wants this one so bad it's beautiful....so, her sister also likes it. I told her that we are going to set a goal....the first one to loose weight and able to fit into it will own the dress. That includes me too. LOL. I won't be there anytime soon but hey if they don't care I might. Well, you should see her know....wants to go to the pool and walk everyday and is watching what she eats. She wants that dress bad and is not letting her sister have it.
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| I really started gaining weight when I was in 4th grade. I've been fat for aslong as I can remember. I wish my parents had realized how serious an issue this was. It's so important to stress a healthy lifestyle from a young age. Eating the right foods and exercising are important but so is eating at the right time. If your daughter is eating too late, she's not going to work it off. It is a very touchy subject, but kids can be a lot meaner than parents.
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GODRULESALL
4/25/08 9:59 A
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| I too know the feeling my son is only twelve and weighs 190.he was diagnosed with padre wille,last year a gentic disoder that causes him to want to eat and drink, constantly, please if you find anything that helps your daughter let me know, thanks for listenig.
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Hello! I have two teenage daughters and both are overweight. So I completely understand your situation. I also would love to hear any advice from your doctor that works with your daughter.
I've had the talk and the doctor has weighed in, but nothing lasts. We all need lasting change. Thanks.
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MARIA1965CANADA
4/24/08 11:06 P
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| Thanks for the feedback. I actually booked an appointment with the doctor today and she will see her next week. She is pretty active, she does play on the volleyball team and walks with her friend every day. I think she eats too much before I get home from work. She eats things she shouldn't be eating and then will eat later in the evening with me too. hopefully the doctor will do something or suggest something.
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NIKKOLLYNN
4/24/08 6:39 P
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| Maybe you could schedule an appt with your family doctor and have him bring up the topic. It might help if you're not the one to first bring it up with her. Or you could see if she wants to enroll in some sort of team (soccer, gymnastics, volleyball, etc...). Maybe the other girls on the team could be good role models for her to get healthier and eat better.
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You might want to have a heart to heart with her. I know she is emotional and you don't want to push the diet.
Find out if she is upset and is an emotional eater. Or she may just like the taste of food.
Take heart here. I've fluxuated all my life until I reached my adult stages (late 20s) and then got serious about it. I had a lot of critism from my mom on my weight still do. Just be careful she may be an emotional eater.
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MARIA1965CANADA
4/24/08 5:54 A
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My daughter is 14 and is overweight I am careful with what I have at home but when i'm working she eat and it could be healthy food but just keeps eating and now it's starting to show alot more. I'm worried about her health but afraid of pushing a diet on her at this age. she is also very sensitive about her weight and very imotional. Any suggestions?
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